Chasing Worthiness. Tammy Sherger

know was that it would also lead me to discover how worthiness was the missing ingredient to living my dreams.

      No matter what I had to do, I was going to make sure that whenever my final moment came, I would know without a doubt that I had lived unapologetically and completely. I hoped that I had more time to redeem. I didn’t know when the final moments would be. I was going to find out if I was going to live after a process of treatment and recovery. I still had a mountain of medical treatment to go through. If you are unaware of cancer treatment, there is an excruciatingly long period between a diagnosis and the moment when somebody says you have hope. Another biopsy remained before they would provide me with any information other than malignancy. That test returned. I had a lumpectomy and submitted myself to treatment.

      It was after surgery that I finally heard there was hope. The cancer hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes. That time between diagnosis and surgery gave me too much space to sit in regret. My promise wasn’t just about staving off regret. It was about living each day to its fullest.

      Planting the Worthiness Seed

      I want to share the poem I wrote shortly after that day in the doctor’s office. Perhaps you or someone you know has experienced a cancer diagnosis and this poem illustrates the shock of facing your own mortality. I have since learned not to be afraid of death but to be aware that it exists. None of us can escape this part of the human life cycle.

      I Have Cancer

      You have cancer. Can you check the name on the file please? You have cancer. Are you sure this diagnosis is for me? Am I going to die? You have cancer. I don’t know whether to scream or cry. The thought whirls through my head. You have cancer. All the times I have chosen. Tomorrow. Instead. Too many times. A life lesson learned. I have cancer, the lesson I know is to not leave undone any hopes that I hold.

      I didn’t know it at the time but that was where the seeds of the I Am Worth It Project were planted. I thought I was making sure that I never lived with regret. What I didn’t realize at the time was that in order to do that I had to find my self-worth. And that is how I discovered the most powerful and under-utilized tool we all have that can impact our greatest transformation.

      Your Power Tool

      The most powerful tool you already own is your brain. Your very own personal computer. The problem with the brain, when left to its own devices, is that it will continue to make decisions from decades-old data. When I am giving a talk, I always ask my audience if their brain is operating like a Commodore 64.

      I attended a talk about artificial intelligence recently by one of Canada’s top scientists. In this talk he mentioned three Canadian scientists who won a prestigious award for their work in advancing artificial intelligence. Well, do you want to know how they did that? They modeled the human brain. Simply put that’s how they figured out how to put the right data into a computer to get the right answer out. As humans we fail to consider that the data we put into our brain in the form of thoughts—what we hear, see, and experience externally, and how we talk to ourselves internally—will drive our behaviors.

      We are not taught to manage the flow of information to our brain, to become proactive instead of reactive and train our brain. Instead, for most of us, we are living what I call the robot life with our brain in charge and operating in a fully present mode only 5 percent of every day, according to scientists. Imagine what you could accomplish if you increased from 5 percent to 15 percent of the day being fully present in your life? What new ideas would jump out? What dreams could you realize?

      I have discovered that our brain is the most underutilized tool we all have that can impact our greatest transformation.

      Your brain has the ability to help you accomplish all that you dream of and deserve. But most of us just let our brain run wild on its own with no guidance or input.

      Sounds dangerous when you hear that, doesn’t it?

      If we had to go through Brain Training 101 early in life, we could avoid some of the common pitfalls and roadblocks we all face on the road to success.

      Your brain is your very own personal computer.

      And your words—the ones you say out loud, the ones that come from your inner critic, and even the words you hear from others—are the DATA you are feeding into your personal computer.

      On the other side, that data comes out in the form of your behavior. The data you feed into your personal computer drives your behavior

      Is it time for you to review and delete data? Do you want a Commodore 64 running your life? Computers have been updated since the days of the Commodore. That 64 referred to the 8-bit architecture of the computer. Computers these days are 64-bit architecture. Even your phone is at least 32-bit. You must upgrade.

      In the age of Netflix, we have welcomed a new term into our culture: binge watching. We can’t stop watching because they leave us hooked at the end. I read an article that said Netflix has the goal to be able to know you through your recent viewing history. They use this data to choose what shows you see based on the shows you have already watched. Their ultimate goal is for you to be able to open your Netflix app and for them to be able to start playing the show they know you want to watch based on your previous viewing history. Think about that for a second. In the future, they want to be able to take your data based on past behavior and predict what you will want to watch in the future. There would be no room to evolve or make different choices. No room to grow or change your mind. You wouldn’t even know what you are missing out on because you would never have the opportunity to see it for yourself and decide in that moment if you want to watch it. I don’t want to be making the same choices today that I made twenty years ago. I want to be able to experience fully all that life has to offer, knowing that I will always continue to evolve and change.

      What about the data that has been entered into your own personal computer, your brain?

      Do you want your life to be run with twenty-year-old data? You no longer make conscious choices or try anything new. You will live the rest of your life watching the exact same shows because you’re not going to be exposed to anything else. That’s exactly what many of us are doing with our brains and our lives. You’re not changing the data, the input. You are living the ROBOT LIFE.

      My greatest teachers about the power of the brain have been my two grandchildren, Hunter and Annabelle. I made a promise to always be fully present with them. That is not possible as a parent when you have so many other responsibilities, but as a grandparent, I am able to meet this most of the time.

      I have seen and scientists report that you are basically in a hypnotic state from the time you’re born until you’re about eight. We are, quite simply put, being programmed. You’re taking in all this data, your beliefs, values, norms, and experiences. I’m on the right path. No, I’m not. This is good. This is bad. But as a child, your brain does not have the ability to decipher what information to keep or not. And guess what you do with all that data? You carry it into adulthood as your beliefs: “Here I am. This is who I am, world. I can’t read, but I’m good at math. I don’t like to speak in front of people because I’m very shy.” You bring all of this to adulthood with little or no questioning. Most of us will live almost our whole lives believing stuff that is not true and is only data. Many of us are not upgrading and reprogramming our brains. The good news is that whatever has been programmed can be reprogrammed. That is why you must learn how to train your brain.

      My granddaughter Annabelle

      My grandson Hunter