Be Strong, Be Wise. Amy R. Carpenter

Gro Flatebo, writer and parent

      “Be Strong, Be Wise in the Age of #MeToo is an empowering and insightful read. This book should be a must for every young person getting ready to go out on their own. It explains in relatable terms how both women and men can protect themselves from unwanted and unwarranted sexual advances. The real-life stories are compelling and remind us that anyone can be in a vulnerable situation, but how it is handled at the time can avoid an uncomfortable and even more serious outcome. Ms. Carpenter has included well-written solutions that remind us that it is best to be proactive rather than reactive in preventing sexual assault. This book is an eye-opener and should be read by all; young and old.”

      – Shelia Craig Whiteman, teacher, speaker and parent

BE STRONG, BE WISE IN THE AGE OF #METOO

      BE STRONG,

      BE WISE

      IN THE AGE OF

      #METOO

      AMY R. CARPENTER

      NEW YORK

      LONDON • NASHVILLE • MELBOURNE • VANCOUVER

      BE STRONG, BE WISE IN THE AGE OF #METOO

      The Young Adult’s Guide to Sexual Safety

      © 2021 Amy R. Carpenter

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing in partnership with Difference Press. Morgan James is a trademark of Morgan James, LLC. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

      ISBN 9781631950872 paperback

      ISBN 9781631950889 eBook

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2020934157

      Cover Design Concept: Jennifer Stimson

      Editor: Emily Tuttle

      Book Coaching: The Author Incubator

      Author Photo: Crystal Brooke Photo

      Cover Design by: Chris Treccani, 3dogcreative.net

      Interior Design by: Melissa Farr, [email protected]

      Disclaimer

      The tools discussed in this book apply to any young adult, whether they are in college or not. The principles, when used consistently, will decrease the likelihood of being victim to sexual assault—but they’re meant as a guide, not a guarantee. I came up with the framework through my experience as a trauma clinician, youth worker, survivor, and parent. Still, there are far too many ways assault can happen to speak about them all in one book. My focus here is based on the stories I’ve heard through my role as a therapist, stories that have led me to understand sexual assault is more preventable than we’ve yet acknowledged. This book offers a pathway toward the kind of individual and social empowerment that decreases risk.

      Morgan James is a proud partner of Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater Williamsburg. Partners in building since 2006.

      Get involved today! Visit

      MorganJamesPublishing.com/giving-back

      To #MeToo and all social change movements that call on us to remember our dignity.

      Table of Contents

       Author’s Note: How to Approach This Book

       Chapter 1: The Making of a Movement

       Chapter 2: Following the Signs

       Chapter 3: A View from the Ship’s Bow

       Chapter 4: The Roles We Play

       Chapter 5: Developing Herd Consciousness

       Chapter 6: Know Thyself

       Chapter 7: Safety and Dating Practice

       Chapter 8: How to Respond to Assault

       Chapter 9: Managing Obstacles

       Chapter 10: Becoming a Movement Maker

       Acknowledgments

       Thank You

       About the Author

       References

Author’s Note: How to Approach This Book

      Since more readers mean more people using safety measures, I knew if I came across as boring in writing this book, I’d lose those who might be on the fence about reading a sexual safety guide. So, my goals were in conflict. How could I inform the reader without boring them? How could I help them integrate the tools without sounding like a textbook or manual? In the end, I decided to go with my gut and trust that the average eighteen-plus-year-old person is able to grasp several concepts simultaneously, as well as apply them to their own life (albeit, with some help.) In this way, I deliver the material as directly as possible, giving the reader all the information they need to know without using a lot of unnecessary descriptions or clinical mumbo-jumbo. Also, the topic is not a light one, but there is a way of talking about it in a light manner.

      Chapters 1 through 3 set the backdrop, providing information to readers of any age, but by Chapter 4, the narrative voice changes and is directed solely to young adults. In conversational style, I address the reader as “you” through the remainder of the book.

      To write about the experience of the average young person when it comes to intimate relationships is like trying to identify a favorite movie, which is to say, impossible. In Chapter 7, when I discuss sex and dating, I opted for minor graphic descriptions to get the necessary points across. There are readers who may find these too graphic or, conversely, too innocent. If the tools are accessible, it does not matter. Additionally, the accounts