Название | Elly in Bloom |
---|---|
Автор произведения | Colleen Oakes |
Жанр | Юмористическая фантастика |
Серия | |
Издательство | Юмористическая фантастика |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9781940716084 |
”Um, hello?” he said softly.
Oh Lord, he has an accent, thought Elly, slay me now. Quickly, she rearranged herself, pushing her hair out of her eyes, sucking her tummy in, and licking her lips.
“Hi. You aren’t my Chinese food.”
She immediately regretted mentioning food within the first thirty seconds of meeting a beautiful man—the first beautiful man in a long time. Fatty!
“No, I’m Isaac, Isaac Kamaka. I just moved in above the deli?”
“Oh, wow. That must smell delicious!” Elly mentally smacked herself. Food again!
“No, not really, it kind of smells like mustard.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
“So, are you just going around meeting all the neighbors?”
“Only the pretty ones.”
Swoon. She blushed. Noticeably.
“The guy next door—whew. He is a man to behold.”
Elly snickered. The man who lived next door was about sixty-five, portly, and had an odd aroma about him.
“He’s really nice. Gary. Although I think he steals my magazines.”
Isaac smiled. “Which ones?”
Weight Loss Weekly, she thought, but instead she tipped her head and smiled, “Oh, you know, swimsuit catalogs and the like.”
Cadbury, who was frantically trying to get past Elly’s legs, was whining and pushing against her as she tried to look elegant while shoving a dog back between her thighs.
“Cadbury, no! NO! Stop!”
“Cadbury. That’s a good name. Named after … ?”
“The butler,” she replied. “My family had a butler.” Oh wait, WHAT? “Yeah, he was a great treasure to our family.”
Well, at least I didn’t tell him he was named after a candy.
“Well, it’s nice to meet Cadbury, too,” Isaac said as Elly roughly shoved Cadbury back with her foot. Dog abuser. “So, this is kind of strange, but I don’t suppose you have a light bulb I can borrow? I’m trying to move stuff in, my instruments, and I can’t see very well with the two lights I have now.”
“Oh, yes. Sure. Hold on.” Elly closed the door behind her and locked it. She leaned against her wall. Everything inside her was trembling. Her brow was sweaty and the back of her neck was soaked. Her legs were tingling and her lips dry as a desert. She ran her tongue over her top lip. Ever since “the incident” she had hardly noticed men. Sure, sometimes men had taken some interest in her—the portly sixty-five-year-old neighbor for example, but Elly wasn’t used to it by any means. She was the sidekick. The one that men said hello to and were kind to, but only because they wanted to get with her friends. The cute but chubby friend, who was probably really nice and very funny. No one attractive ever noticed her. Until he did. Until Aaron. Aaron. A tightness squeezed her chest. She rarely allowed herself to think of him but when she did, the pain was deep and aching.
“Okay. Pull it together.” She shook her head to rearrange her thoughts. Light bulbs. She raced into the bathroom, yanked open the cabinet, and grabbed a light bulb. Elly looked in the mirror and gave a pained squeak. A very round, freckled, and tan face stared back at her. A small nose and big blue eyes peeked out behind tortoiseshell-framed glasses. Her chin-length thick blond hair looked insane, with curly strands going everywhere. Great—I have homeless hair. She quickly smoothed out side-swept bangs, tucking them behind her ears. Her dark-pink lips were pouty, as they always were. She smiled at herself, beguilingly. Yikes. At least she had nice teeth.
As for the rest of her … she had large firm breasts that were poking out of the side of her tank top, and a small rib cage, but large, fleshy hips. To say she had an hourglass figure was generous. A rotund hourglass, perhaps. Or a bubble bowl. That is what she reminded herself of. She looked older than thirty-two, no doubt. There was no way around it. Best to keep sucking it in and smiling. She launched herself back out of the bathroom and toward the front door. She took a deep breath and opened it slowly.
“I managed to find one…. I hope it’s okay that it’s regular and not CFL.” Isaac smiled. He had perfect teeth, almost canine in nature.
“Thanks,” he mumbled. “At least I won’t have to work in the dark.”
“What do you do?” Elly asked.
“I’m a musician. I write music for performers, mostly of the piano and guitar variety. Although—true confession—I am in a band. I don’t like performing….” He paused, making himself all the more darling. “There is something about being up in front of people that makes me cringe. It’s just so egotistical, but I understand it’s a necessary evil.”
Elly’s heart did flip-flops. Amazing, gorgeous, and humble. What kind of man made her feel this way?
“What’s your band called?” Elly asked. He smiled proudly.
“Everest Oppressed. It symbolizes how man, as a beast, has been oppressed by the imaginings of greatness…”
Her wild mental wanderings were curbed as a small voice interrupted him from somewhere in the hallway.
“Excuse me?” A small Chinese man maneuvered around Isaac’s hulking frame. “I have a delivery for El … Elly?”
“Elly, that’s me.” She hastily grabbed the bag from the man. Please Lord, don’t let him see how much food I ordered.
The man held the receipt up to his face, announcing, “I have one orange chicken and one Mongolian beef, with an order of wontons and two egg drop soups!”
Kill me now, Elly thought.
“It’s for lunches you know, for the week,” she mumbled as she dropped the bag behind the door, where Cadbury proceeded to dig into the wontons. She narrowed her eyes at the Chinese man.
“Thanks. Here is your check. Okay, bye!” She shoved the check at the delivery guy, who wandered down the back staircase that lined the apartments, mumbling angrily to himself.
Oh no, I forgot to tip him. Her eyes wandered up to meet Isaac’s. I’m not sure I care, she thought. It was worth it.
“Well, I should let you get to your feast,” he said jokingly.
“Oh yeah, it was a long day, so I thought a special treat would be nice….” What is the next lie you will tell him, she wondered? That you work out every day and really love soy milk?
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around. It was, er, nice to meet you,” he offered.
Elly was now trying to yank the wontons away from Cadbury, who was growling at her and batting her hands with his paws. She stood up and resumed sucking in.
“Yes. It was nice to meet you too. I will see you around. I own Posies—the shop downstairs. You should stop in for some free flowers sometime.”
Isaac rocked back on his feet, hands in pockets. “Maybe I will.”
“Okay.”
He put out his large hand. Elly wrapped her fingers around his coarse ones. Twisting tendrils of electricity snaked up her wrist. Her hand was moist. She pulled it away as he turned to go.