Coach to Coach. Martin Rooney

Scarola, who taught me you must first be on fire before you can make someone else burn.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

       —Ralph Waldo Emerson

      ∼∼∼∼∼

       “If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however, if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that.”

       —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Foreword

      In this book, Martin Rooney is going to try to convince you that coaches have the most important job in the world. And although this sounds like a bold statement, I believe it to be true.

      But I'm going to take that idea one step further.

      If I were to ask you, “Who is the most important coach in the world?” you might name world leaders, powerful heads of business, or top coaches of sport organizations. You might mention an influential coach you've had in your own life, such as a special teacher or mentor, who has been the greatest help to you.

      While I agree all of those people are incredibly important, I have a more personal answer. Now that I've transitioned from being a professional athlete to a coach, I realize the most important coach in the world is the person who coaches our children. And that realization is why I stand so strongly behind the message and mission of this book.

I have known and trained alongside Martin Rooney for 20 years. In many fitness and training circles, he is known as “the man” because of his technical knowledge. But that knowledge was only part of the reason I entrusted him to coach my kids. The other part was because he was able to get them to apply that knowledge through his ability to connect as a coach. During those years he spent coaching my boys, I witnessed the same strategies that Martin features in his book and I know they work.

      If you are looking for simple and effective principles about how to be a great coach, they are here waiting for you in this book. But it goes beyond sports. I believe this inspirational book can also make you a better person, and someone who can make others better. Although both my sons were lucky enough to go on to play in the NFL, they learned lessons from Martin that could be used beyond the playing field. His coaching style taught them valuable lessons for winning in the game of life, too.

      Whether you consider yourself a coach or not, you will be able to use the information in this quick and easy read to help people. If I could coach you how to use this book, I would challenge you to immediately apply the lessons while they are fresh in your mind, because as Coach to Coach will remind you, it isn't enough to know the lessons, you also need to put them into action.

      It is my hope that every coach around the world reads this book. And you should hope so, too. Because not only might one of those coaches be in charge of your country, but one of them might also be a very influential part of your child's future.

      Phil Simms

      Super Bowl XXI MVP

      Inside the NFL analyst

      CBS lead sportscaster

Introduction

      The world needs better coaches.

      Whether you believe it or not, you are a coach. You don't have to be in charge of a sports team or business to earn the title. If you are a parent, teammate, co-worker, or friend, you are a coach in some way to someone else every day.

      Unfortunately, like money, marriage, and parenting, coaching someone else doesn't come with a rule book or manual. It is my hope that this short, yet powerful parable in some way becomes one of those manuals for you.

      I believe being called a coach is the most honorable title you can earn. When someone calls you “coach,” he or she is handing you the reins to some aspect of their life. They give you control, hoping you are the one who cares enough to show them the way to where it is they want to go.

      This book is not about current science or the technical knowledge about running a practice or helping someone win a game. The ideas are much simpler, but also run much deeper. This is the softer side of coaching we know exists, but rarely gets a glimpse in today's arena.

I believe we are all waiting for a person like the old coach in this book to show up and help us fix a number of the problems in our lives. My hope is that after reading this book, instead of continually waiting for that person to magically appear, you go out into the world, use the lessons he had to teach, and become that coach for someone else.

      I promise if you just take away the “Golden Rule” from this book and apply it, your life and the lives of others around you will improve. And that is because the real way a coach becomes richer is by enriching the life of someone else.

      I also invite you to share your own inspiring coaching stories or how you have used some of the ideas from this book to improve the life of someone else. You can reach me at [email protected].

      How do I know applying what you read in this book can forever change your life? Because it worked for me.

      Martin Rooney

      Cornelius, NC

      2020

1 The Tunnel

      AND THEN HE WAS THERE.

Things really couldn't get much worse. Another loss for the team, and as Brian Knight made his way toward the locker room, he realized he couldn't be more alone.

      As he walked from the field into the tunnel, he thought about slipping out a side door and going home. Not only did he really not feel like facing the team or the other coaches, but he also felt his job was in jeopardy.

      But if he snuck back to his house, things wouldn't really be better there anyway, he thought gloomily. His kids would already be asleep—a reminder of another day missed with them. And quietly slipping into bed next to his sleeping wife would only remind him of the growing distance between them.

      Bills and stress were piling up. Maybe it was time to give up on coaching and get a “real” job.

      “Not your best day, huh, Bri?” came a hoarse voice from what seemed out of nowhere.

      Brian turned around to see an older man about his height, maybe in his mid-60s, standing with his arms and palms against the cool wall of the tunnel.

      “Excuse me?” said Brian, in the kind of tone that let the man know he was offended.

      “I said, it didn't seem to be your best day out there,” replied the old man. “It's pretty obvious the defense was the reason the team lost out there tonight. Not much to be proud of.”

This got Brian's attention and angered him. Now agitated and arms crossed against his chest, he retorted, “Look, man, I don't know who you are or how you got in here, but you picked the wrong guy to piss off tonight.” With that statement, Brian took a half-step closer to the man.

      The old man, seemingly amused by his apparent aggression, stepped away from the wall, kept his hands at his sides and moved right within a foot of Brian. “Calm down, kid. Seems things are worse than I remembered. I'm not here to bring you down. I'm here to build you up.” And with a smile that seemed to disarm Brian a little, he added, “And besides, I really don't think you want to lose twice tonight.”

      Looking into the old man's eyes, Brian saw a confidence and peace of mind that intrigued him. He could also feel something else. It wasn't aggression. The closest thing he could equate it to was compassion. The old man understood. This feeling and the smile on the old man's