A Very Large Expanse of Sea. Tahereh Mafi

      

      Dear Reader:

      What you’re about to read is inspired by the true events of my life. Ultimately, this is a work of fiction, but Shirin’s story is an amalgamation of real experiences. I was a freshman in high school in 2001. I used to breakdance. On the first day of my sophomore year I was starting at my third high school. The world around me was cruel and xenophobic and racist, and people had broken my heart so many times that by my sixteenth birthday I could no longer find the words to articulate my anger. This book is an attempt to capture this emotion—and its evolution—on paper.

      Contemporary fiction is a departure for me—I’m mostly known for my Shatter Me series—but I knew I’d end up here. It’s always been my hope to change the perception of Muslim women in the media. When I was a teenager, I only ever saw ladies in hijab on the news; Muslim women were depicted only at the forefront of controversy. We were allowed a voice—a platform—only if we used that voice to remain within the confines of religion or culture or what was considered our oppression. As a young person, I desperately longed to see a Muslim woman break free from those stereotypes. I wanted to see her recognized for more than her knowledge of politics and/or religion. Establishing myself as an author separate and apart from my identity as a Muslim woman was a feat I once never thought possible. But this—this book—is also a feat I once never thought possible. Because even though I knew I would write this book, I never knew if it would find an audience.

      A Very Large Expanse of Sea is about giving a voice to the Muslim American teenager in a world where they’re seldom given a chance to speak. It’s about love and hate and breakdancing. It’s my story, and I’m grateful to you for reading.

      Tahereh Mafi

      First published in the USA 2018 by HarperCollins Children’s Books

      First published in Great Britain 2018

      by Electric Monkey, an imprint of Egmont UK Limited

      The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

      Published by arrangement with HarperCollins Children’s Books,

      a division of HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, USA

      Text copyright © 2018 Tahereh Mafi

      First e-book edition 2018

      ISBN 978 1 4052 9260 3

      Ebook ISBN 978 1 4052 9264 1

       www.egmont.co.uk

      A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

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      Contents

       Cover

       Copyright

       Title Page

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

       Seven

       Eight

       Nine

       Ten

       Eleven

       Twelve

       Thirteen

       Fourteen

       Fifteen

       Sixteen

       Seventeen

       Eighteen

       Nineteen

       Twenty

       Twenty-one

       Twenty-two

       Twenty-three

       Twenty-four

       Twenty-five

       Twenty-six

       Twenty-seven

       Twenty-eight

       Twenty-nine

       Thirty

       Thirty-one

       Thirty-two

       Thirty-three

       Thirty-four

       Thirty-five

       Thirty-six

       Thirty-seven

       Thirty-eight

       Back series promotional page

One

      We always seemed to be moving, always for the better, always to make our lives better, whatever. I couldn’t keep up with the emotional whiplash. I’d attended so many elementary schools and middle schools I couldn’t keep their names straight anymore but this, this switching high schools all the time thing was really starting to make me want to die. This was my third high school in less than two years and my life seemed suddenly to comprise such a jumble of bullshit every day that sometimes I could hardly move my lips. I worried that if I spoke or screamed my anger would grip both sides of my open mouth and rip me in half.

      So I said nothing.

      It was the end of August, all volatile heat and the occasional breeze. I was surrounded by starched backpacks and stiff denim and kids who smelled like fresh plastic. They seemed happy.

      I sighed and slammed my locker shut.

      For me, today was just another first day of school in another new city, so I did what I always did when I showed up at a new