Best Babysitters Ever. Caroline Cala

guys, it’s time to resort to emergency measures.” She pivoted with military precision and retrieved her silver backpack from the kitchen floor. She unzipped it, only to unearth the contents of an entire supermarket candy aisle. Bree pulled out bag after bag of candy, in all shapes and sizes: gummy bears, peanut butter cups, mini chocolate bars, sour gummies, chocolate caramel turtles.

      “Sugar! You’ve been holding out on me!” Dot gasped, seeming genuinely miffed.

      “What are you doing?” Malia shrieked. “Is this really the best use of our time?”

      “This is. The secret. To dealing. With children,” Bree said calmly.

      “Dude, at the moment, there are. No children. To deal with. The children are missing. Like, we are maybe going to get arrested for losing them. And you’re setting up a lovely dessert bar? This isn’t a bat mitzvah.”

      Bree continued tearing into each of the bags and depositing their contents into different size bowls. The candies made melodic tinkling sounds as they made their journey into each vessel, like a sweet symphony of sugar. Just then, they heard a sound even sweeter than glucose hitting ceramic: the stampede of miniature feet running their way.

      “SUGARRRRRRRRRRR!” yelled Ruby.

      “CHOC-CHOC-CHOCKO-CHOCK-CHOCK-LET!” yelled Jemima. Just because she couldn’t say “chocolate”, it didn’t stop her from wanting to inhale it.

      Dot and Malia stood there with their mouths hanging open.

      “I told you,” said Bree.

      “What the –” Malia started, at the same time as Dot said, “But you didn’t even know we were babysitting today! Why do you have so much stuff ?”

      “I live with small people. This is how you keep the power.”

      “Where were you guys?” Dot yelled.

      But the girls were too excited to answer. They grabbed tiny fistfuls of candy and shovelled them goblin-style into their mouths. Soon Ruby was whirling in dizzy circles, spinning like a child-shaped top while Jemima hopped all around her, yelling in gibberish, like a demonic rabbit.

      They’d just finished stashing the evidence of their candy trickery into Bree’s backpack when they heard the scrape of a key in the front door.

      “Quick! How do we take the batteries out of these things?” Malia asked, pointing at the deranged kids. Surely, Mrs Woo would notice that her children were practically vibrating from the sugar.

      “MOM’S HOME!” yelled Jemima.

      “NOT THE OGRE! NOT THE OGRE! EVERYONE MAN YOUR STATIONS! HEAD FOR THE BRIDGE!” yelled Ruby.

      “AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Jemima screamed, throwing her hands in the air.

      The girls’ mother appeared in the kitchen doorway.

      “Hi, Mrs Woo!” Dot trilled, giving her a tiny little wave, like a beauty pageant contestant.

      “How were your errands?” added Bree, completely ignoring the bedlam unfolding around them.

      Mrs Woo entered the room slowly and gingerly, like the lone survivor in a zombie movie, surveying the wreckage of the planet she once called home.

      “Oh my,” Mrs Woo said as Jemima ran straight into the wall. The force of it caused the little girl to fall backwards and land on her back, her tiny feet kicking upwards like an overturned beetle. “I’ve never seen them like this before. They’re so . . . energized.”

      Uh-oh.

      Ruby pulled Jemima to her feet and the two of them careened toward Malia, wrapping their tiny arms around both of her legs in a surprisingly strong embrace.

      “Can they come play again?” Ruby shouted.

      “Please, please, PLEASE!” Jemima added.

      Mrs Woo shook her head in disbelief. “Wow, they never like anyone!” Her face broke into a wide smile. “Can you girls possibly come back next weekend? Maybe Sunday afternoon?”

      Malia, Dot, and Bree exchanged glances. Had they actually pulled this off ? More importantly, could they possibly do it again? What if they really did lose the kids next time? Or worse?

      But then something magical happened. Mrs Woo pulled out her wallet and counted out a stack of crisp twenty-dollar bills.

      “Um, YES,” they all said in unison. “We can come back Sunday.”

      “I am SO glad to have found you three!” she said, handing the money to Malia. “This is such a lifesaver.” The moment the cash hit her palm, all of Malia’s fears evaporated. It didn’t matter if kids were even worse than cavities and routine vaccinations and standardized tests at the same time. They were a road that led to money.