Don't Tell Him I'm a Mermaid. Laura Steven

to mirror his seriousness. ‘It’s a lovely name.’

      Eddie snorted. ‘All right, Grandma Molly.’

      ‘Shall I fetch your Zimmer frame?’ Ada chimed in. ‘Perhaps your knitting needles?’

      Eddie hunched himself over and clutched at his back, putting on a thick Scottish accent. ‘Och aye the noo, who’d like a wee scone?’

      Ada and Molly fell about laughing, while Fit Steve simply said, ‘You guys are like, fifty per cent weirder outside of school.’

      ‘Only fifty?’ Eddie asked. ‘We must try harder.’

      There was an elderly couple nearby, stringing Christmas lights around a sad-looking fir tree. The high street was much busier than the promenade, with lots of people carrying shopping bags. Molly could smell the mulled wine stall that was there all through December, and for the first year ever, she actually thought it smelled rather good. Not that she’d tell her mother that.

      ‘Are you seeing Felicity later?’ Ada asked Fit Steve after he’d started scooping their ice creams. Molly found herself staring at his hands in a probably very gross way. Why had she never noticed how nice his hands were before?

      ‘Uh, yeah. Yep. Think so.’

      ‘I like Felicity,’ Molly said. ‘She’s nice. Like mushy peas.’ For god’s sake! Why did she have to relate everything to chip-shop items? Or comment on how much she liked his girlfriend?

      Fit Steve handed Molly a cone. He’d given her an extra scoop, which in Molly’s eyes was essentially a marriage proposal. ‘Mmmm, yeah. Anyway. Oh, er. Here she is.’

      Molly’s heart sank as she saw Felicity sidling over to them. It wasn’t that she necessarily hated Felicity. Not like she used to. It was just that she always had to be a bit on edge around her, in case she let something slip about Molly’s tail – accidentally or otherwise.

      ‘Hey, babe.’ Felicity leaned over the counter and pecked Steve on the mouth. ‘Hey, Aydz. Hey . . . you guys.’ Her nose wrinkled at the sight – and probably smell – of Molly and Eddie in their fish costumes.

      ‘We were just getting ice cream,’ Molly said, trying to keep her tone light despite the fact that her speeding pulse sounded like a malfunctioning steam engine. Every time Felicity was around, she was painfully aware of how quickly and easily her life could be ruined. She had to avoid doing anything to annoy her, and if that involved making conversation like a total simpleton, so be it.

      Felicity nodded. ‘I see that.’

      Molly slurped her ice cream in an ugly way, to make it very clear that she was not trying to steal Felicity’s man. ‘Raspberry ripple.’

      ‘So the Waverleys, huh?’ Felicity said, grabbing a Flake from the glass jar and crunching into it.

      ‘Yeah,’ Molly blurted out, before realising she had nothing else to add that was not embargoed information regarding their tail status. ‘Er . . . twins.’

      ‘Do you think they seem cool?’ Ada asked, as though Felicity were the oracle of coolness. ‘Like, should we ask them to eat lunch with us?’

      ‘Finn plays rugby,’ Fit Steve said, as though this settled matters. Football players disliked rugby players for reasons Molly could not begin to understand.

      ‘That’s true, babe,’ Felicity said thoughtfully. ‘And I think Serena is a bit . . . you know . . .’

      ‘Vikingy?’ Molly suggested.

      ‘Why did the Viking buy a second-hand boat?’ Eddie asked. Everyone looked at him blankly. Barely containing his grin, he added, ‘He probably couldn’t a-fjord a new one.’

      The appalled silence that followed was probably funnier than the joke itself. Molly couldn’t contain her laughter. She choked so violently on her ice-cream cone that she thought she might be sick. Fit Steve and Felicity, who were clearly humourless beings, stared at her in bafflement.

      Ada came to the rescue. ‘Mol, I think your mum is shouting. Shall we go?’

      ‘Oh. OK.’ Molly swallowed the offending mouthful of cone. ‘Well, bye then.’

      As Molly, Ada and Eddie wandered back to the shop, she couldn’t help thinking that hanging out with the Populars wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. They weren’t funny or weird, for a start, and the added tension with Felicity made it impossible to relax and chat like a normal human being.

      It was all more hassle than it was worth. The original goal behind infiltrating the Populars was to make Fit Steve fall madly, passionately in love with her. But now that he was with Felicity, it felt a little pointless.

      After Eddie’s mum came to pick him up, Ada hung around and chatted with Molly on the pier for a while. They talked about school, and Penalty Pete, and Minnie’s current obsession with death metal, which she had discovered on Margot’s phone.

      The conversation moved from Minnie’s headbanging to the Populars.

      ‘Do you think Felicity likes me?’ Ada was perched on the windowsill of the fish ’n’ chip shop, shivering despite her thick coat. ‘Properly likes me, I mean?’

      ‘Um, I think so?’ Molly said. ‘Why?’

      ‘It’s just . . . I don’t know, she’s seemed a little off lately.’ Ada’s voice was soft and unsure. ‘I feel like I’ve annoyed her or something. I just hate feeling like people are angry with me, you know?’

      Molly knew exactly why Felicity was off: her mum’s sickness. But she couldn’t tell Ada that. It was part of the pact. Even though Ada would never tell anyone, Molly couldn’t break her promise without Felicity breaking hers.

      All Molly knew was that she had too many secrets from her best friend, and she was getting tired of trying to keep them.