Modern Romance October 2015 Books 1-4. Annie West

aren’t making such a good job of it. But back then you didn’t like what you saw and you told me so in no uncertain terms. You told me a lot of home truths that day, Erin. You blasted me and my lifestyle and left me feeling dazed. Because nobody had ever spoken to me like that before. And then you handed in your notice and walked away.’

      ‘I don’t understand what this has to do with anything,’ she said. ‘We already know this.’

      ‘But you don’t know what I did next,’ he said. ‘At first I tried to convince myself I was glad you’d gone and that you had no right to judge me. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the things you’d said. And the more I thought about them, the more I realised they were true. You left me feeling bad about myself and I had to ask myself what I was intending to do about it. So I went away and cleaned up my act. I quit the booze and the gambling and the women.’ He saw her face and shrugged. ‘Well, maybe not all the women, but I started to be more discriminating about it. And I got off that merry-go-round of self-destruction you’d highlighted so accurately.’ He leaned across the table towards her. ‘You were the catalyst which made me examine my life and turn it around. So I owe you, Erin. I owe you big-time.’

      ‘Thanks very much. And if you want my congratulations, then you have them—but I still don’t see why you’re bringing all this up now.’

      ‘Don’t you? Though why should you when I’ve only just realised myself? When it’s taken me all this time to admit what’s been staring me in the face for so long. That you’ve had a profound and lasting influence on me.’ He waited for a minute and then drew a deep breath. ‘That I love you—and I don’t want to spend my life without you in it.’

      She didn’t answer, not at first—just nodded her head. ‘Dimitri,’ she said at last, sounding as if she was trying desperately to keep her voice from breaking. ‘Listen to me. I’m not going to change my mind about marrying you—so please don’t say things you don’t mean.’

      ‘But I do mean it. Every word I speak straight from here.’ And he placed his hand over his heart.

      ‘Will you stop it?’ she hissed. ‘Everybody’s looking at us.’

      ‘I don’t care.’ He took her left hand between his palms and thought how cold her fingers felt. How stiff her body language was as she sat there facing him. ‘Just tell me that it’s not too late,’ he said. ‘Tell me that you still love me—as you did that night in Russia. Tell me that you’ll marry me and spend the rest of your life with me.’

      Erin was aware that pretty much everyone in the café knew what was happening. Even if they couldn’t hear—and Dimitri was making no attempt whatsoever to lower his voice—then it was now glaringly obvious, because he was digging into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulling out a small box.

      He flipped open the lid and she could see the dazzle as the light caught the glittering band of diamonds in the centre of which was one enormous and flawless stone, and from behind the counter she heard Tara gasp.

      ‘I have had this ring fashioned from the very finest diamonds in my mine,’ he said. ‘But if it’s too big or too flashy, we can get you something else. We could buy you something antique and special in Moscow or Paris, if that’s what you’d prefer. I’d just like you to wear it in the meantime, because I want to see it on your finger. Because ironically, despite having run all my life from matrimony, I have now become its greatest advocate. That is...’ he stared at her ‘...if you’ll agree to marry me?’

      Erin saw the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes—so brief that she might have imagined it—and somehow it made her love him even more. Dimitri uncertain? Whoever would have thought it? It was something as impossible to imagine as him making such a public and romantic proposal in an East End café. She had tried to stop loving him, but somehow it just wouldn’t work and now she had accepted that it was never going to. He was complicated, there was no doubt about that. He was brilliant at some things but not so good at others. Feelings and emotion, mainly...those were the things he liked to hide away—at least until now. But now she understood why. And didn’t he need her love just as badly as she wanted to give it? ‘Oh, Dimitri,’ she whispered. ‘Of course I’ll marry you. I—’

      But her words were drowned out by his laugh of pleasure as he rose to his feet and walked round to her side of the table, where he lifted her to her feet. He stared into her face for what seemed like a long time before he started to kiss her, and all the customers—except for the blonde—burst into a spontaneous round of clapping and cheering.

      In the commotion, the ring fell to the ground and remained missing until Leo and his friends came back from football later that morning, crawling around on their hands and knees until it was located underneath the skirting board. They were rewarded with ice cream and cola and the promise of a trip to watch Chelsea play, and Erin overheard Leo saying to his best friend, ‘That’s my daddy.’

      She blinked a little at that, because she didn’t actually remember telling him that. And that was when it all became real and tears of happiness began to slide down her cheeks.

EPILOGUE

      LEO GOT HIS snowman after all—along with sleigh bells and fairy lights and the realisation that having a Russian father and an English mother meant he could actually celebrate two Christmases, instead of one. The first was spent in England, with Dimitri flying Erin’s parents in from Australia as a surprise and Tara closing down the café for a whole fortnight. Dimitri booked an entire floor of the Granchester Hotel for the festivities, which famously had the biggest tree in London—if you didn’t count the one in Trafalgar Square.

      And somewhere amid all the excitement, they got married. They exchanged their vows and, for those heartfelt moments, felt like the only two people in the world. Outside, the ground glittered with frost and Erin wore a hooded white cashmere cloak over her long, silk dress. With Leo at her side as proud ring bearer, she carried camomile daisies—the national flower of Russia—mixed with white freesia, which were her mother’s favourites. Chico was invited but had flown back to Brazil to tell his parents he was gay and no longer intended to live a lie. Saladin was also invited but his favourite and most valuable horse was injured and he was at his wits’ end.

      Their second Christmas of the year was spent in Russia, where the holiday was traditionally celebrated on January the seventh and nothing was eaten all day, until the first star had been seen in the sky, when a dish called kutia was taken from a shared bowl, to signify unity. And if once upon a time Leo would have turned his nose up at the thought of walnut-and-fruit-studded porridge, he dug into the dish with enthusiasm as the three of them ate their meal together. Erin remembered staring at her son in amazement, and thinking how much he’d changed.

      How much they’d all changed.

      Leo had blossomed beneath the warm glow of his father’s love—a love which Dimitri had confessed he wasn’t sure he’d be able to show, just as he wasn’t sure if he was capable of being a good father. Erin guessed that wasn’t surprising, because if you’d never been properly fathered when you were a little boy, then how would you know how it worked? But Dimitri had worked it out. Of course he had. Her cold, proud Russian had melted—morphing into a man with so much love to give that it made her heart sing just to think about it.

      She’d changed, too. The dark fears and insecurities which had nudged the corners of her soul were now a thing of the past. She recognised that it was more than Dimitri’s love which had helped her to accomplish that. It was finding her own inner strength and conviction. She’d been strong enough to tell him that she wouldn’t settle for second best. To show him that she could and would live independently, even if that was the harder option. Sometimes you needed to be prepared to walk away from the thing you most wanted, in order to get it to come to you.

      She lay back against the sofa while the fire crackled and waited while Dimitri read Leo a bedtime story. He would be down in a minute and tomorrow they were taking him and Anatoly sleighing. And after that they would probably