Regency Pleasures and Sins Part 1. Louise Allen

mine if that was the penalty for disobedience,’ Zenna observed dispassionately.

      ‘Zenna!’

      ‘Well, he is extraordinarily attractive, and if you do not want him …’

      ‘I do want him! But not on his terms, so there is no use in teasing me—I am not refusing him on a whim.’

      They both chased their sweet rolls around their plates in a desultory manner.

      ‘I suppose I should sort out those papers from yesterday,’ Zenna observed, making no move to do so.

      ‘Hmm. It is a nice day; perhaps we should look at the garden.’ Tallie too stayed sitting at the breakfast table.

      Suddenly Zenna pushed back her chair and got to her feet. ‘I know what will blow the cobwebs away. Come along, up to the attics.’

      ‘That’s more likely to cover us in cobwebs,’ Tallie grumbled, but she submitted to being urged towards the back stairs and climbed up behind Zenna to the very top.

      ‘There!’ Zenna flung open the door to reveal light-filled, spacious rooms opening one after another. ‘There is a mansard roof,’ she explained, gesturing at the high ceilings and big windows. ‘It is unconventional, but I thought of having my rooms up here.

      There is room for both of us, in fact—a bedroom each, two dressing-rooms and a big sitting-room.’

      Tallie nodded, catching her enthusiasm.

      ‘But the space is not the best thing, just look at the view.’ Zenna flung open a window and, ducking slightly, stepped out onto the leads. Without thinking Tallie followed her, then clutched the window frame with a gasp.

      Because of the design of the roof there was a flat walkway, perhaps five foot wide, running around the edge of the roof before it sloped up steeply to its flat top. The edge was bounded by a stone balustrade at about waist height and, even with her back to the window, Tallie could see the wide view across the rooftops of Putney to the sparkle of the river beyond.

      Careless of the height, Zenna perched on the balustrade and called, ‘Come and see. It is quite safe, the stonework is sound.’ She glanced back over her shoulder, and saw Tallie’s face. ‘Oh, I am sorry, I had forgotten about your fear of heights.’

      ‘It is very foolish of me,’ Tallie said firmly, making herself let go of the window frame and stand up. ‘The view is indeed lovely and I think the rooms would be delightful.’ Her stomach heaved, but she managed to fix a smile on her face, wondering what she could do to lure Zenna off the parapet and away from that dreadful drop.

      In the event Zenna hopped off with as little concern as she would have shown getting up from a chair and leaned over, heedless of the effect on the elbows of her gown. ‘Oh, look, a carriage has drawn up. Now who can that be?’ She leaned further, oblivious of Tallie’s squeak of alarm. ‘Not Mrs Blackstock, for it is not a hackney carriage. I know—it must be Lady Whinstanley, she was most interested when I told her about my plans and she has a house somewhere near.’

      ‘You had better run down, then,’ Tallie managed to say. ‘It would never do to keep her waiting.’ To her immense relief Zenna straightened up and ducked back through the window.

      As the sound of her footsteps diminished down the stairs Tallie began to back into the room, eyeing the balustrade warily as though it might leap at her and toss her over. Then something stopped her. Quite what it was she could not decide, but the sound of Nick’s voice calmly telling her she could step out onto that nightmare of a ledge at Mr Harland’s house mixed with the hasty apology that Zenna had made when she remembered her fears.

      Nick had had to put himself at great risk by having to coax and support her along that ledge. Zenna was doubtless regretting her plan for converting this lovely space into rooms because she knew Tallie was scared of the height.

      She made herself step out again, clinging to the window frame as she had before. At least she was certain this was a genuine fear and she was not indulging herself in order to draw attention, or have a man protect her. Here she was alone and as terrified as she had been at the studio. But if she could only manage to conquer the fear enough to stand out here and admire the view with Zenna, that would be something.

      She held on to the window and looked up, studiously following a bird in flight until it began to swoop down. That was all right; she could look at the tree tops. She dropped her eyes further and her stomach lurched with them, but after perhaps five minutes carefully gazing at the distant prospect she felt able to let go of the window and walk up and down the wide ledge.

      This was so successful that she even let her eyes stray to the parapet and its broad top. It was far wider than any stool she had ever sat upon. How proud of her Zenna would be if she could sit on that or even just lean against it. Her stomach lurched again.

      Tallie closed her eyes and began to pace up and down, repeating out loud, ‘I will not give in, I will not.’ She put out a groping hand and found the parapet, edged towards it and, with her face screwed up into a scowl of grim determination, eyes still tight shut, started to hitch one hip up onto the broad top as she had seen Zenna do.

      The voice shouting ‘No!’ hit her almost at the same moment as the arms that seized her, dragged her round and off the parapet.

      She screamed, opened her eyes and saw her worst nightmare, the wide view spinning around her. She was falling, helpless …

      With another shriek Tallie hit the steep slope of the Mansard roof, her breath crushed out of her by the body that pinned her there. Hands pressed her face to a broad chest, fingers laced desperately in her hair and a voice, a familiar voice sounding utterly unfamiliar, repeated words that made no sense at all.

      Tallie stopped flailing and trying to find breath to scream and heard incredulously what Nick Stangate was gasping into her hair, against her face.

      ‘My love, my darling … no … I am sorry, I will not harass you any more, I promise, my love … only promise me you will never do anything like that again. Tallie, my heart, I will never come near you, if only you’ll promise me …’

      She gave up trying to push him away and reached to fasten her hands in his hair, forcing his head back so she could gaze incredulously into Nick’s face. His eyes were wild, dark, his expression vulnerable as she had never seen it.

      ‘What did you call me?’ she managed to whisper.

      ‘My love.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘Tallie darling, I never meant to hound you until you would do something so desperate …’

      ‘You thought I was going to jump?’ Of course, that must have been what it looked like. ‘Oh, no Nick, I was just trying to sit on the ledge, like Zenna did. She was so disappointed that I might not want to share her rooms up here because of the height. I was only trying to conquer my fear.’

      He slowly straightened his arms until he was standing with her trapped by them, her back against the near-vertical slope of the roof. He closed his eyes and Tallie saw the tension ebb out of him. ‘Of all the damn fool, witless ideas,’ he said, his voice shaking. Then he caught hold of himself and the grey gaze was furious on her face. ‘You could have been killed, you could have become dizzy, fallen. You were all by yourself up here. It was the most hen-witted …’

      Tallie swallowed and enquired meekly, ‘Did you call me your love?’

      ‘Yes.’ The glare faded. ‘Tallie, my darling, never, never do anything like that to me again. You have taken years off my life—in fact, I will probably wake up tomorrow with white hair.’

      ‘Very distinguished,’ Tallie murmured, the growing bubble of happiness welling up inside her, threatening to burst and leave her speechless. ‘Did you mean it when you called me that?’

      ‘Of course I meant it.’ Nick touched a cautious finger to her cheek. ‘Your face is dirty. Did I hurt you just now?’

      ‘No, I do not think so. Nick, why did you not tell me? You