Ready for Marriage?. Anne Marie Winston

expression he knew from experience meant that he was going to have to use every trick in the book to change her opinion. Her tone went from cool to heated. ‘‘This isn’t fair to me or to Molly. She’s growing far too dependent on me. You’re setting yourself up for trouble when you do get married again some day. She’ll have a terrible time acclimating to a new mother.’’

      ‘‘Dependent how?’’ The tone in her voice made him uneasy and he ignored the rest of her words because he had no idea how to respond. Why did he have to get married again? He was perfectly happy the way he was.

      Or at least he had been. He wasn’t sure where this was going but he was fairly sure he wasn’t going to like where it ended.

      ‘‘She’s been calling me Mommy. Not often, but sometimes it just slips out. Given the amount of time we’re together, it’s probably natural—and that’s what I wanted to talk about.’’ She took a deep breath and her voice quavered. ‘‘I think you should find a new baby-sitter for Mollie.’’

      He was stunned. No, not stunned. Sledgehammer-in-the-forehead totally shocked. He couldn’t even formulate an answer. At that moment, Mollie came racing toward him again, demanding he see her artwork.

      ‘‘There’s a roast in the oven,’’ Kristin said, ‘‘with carrots and potatoes. Mollie’s had plenty of fruit and vegetables today so she could have some ice cream for dessert.’’

      ‘‘You’re not staying?’’ Kristin nearly always ate with them on weekday evenings.

      ‘‘No.’’ She turned away and took her jacket from the knob of the hall closet. ‘‘I’ve got some things to do this evening.’’

      Darn Derek anyway!

      The following afternoon, Kristin scowled at the columns of figures before her, but she couldn’t concentrate on the quarterly taxes she should be completing for a local artist. Derek still thought of her as a giddy teenager, she could tell. Why couldn’t he see how much she had changed and matured? He trusted her to raise his daughter, but he couldn’t believe she was grown-up.

      Well, that was going to change. She was tired of being good old helpful Kristin, part of the woodwork. Deb had died more than two years ago.

      Sadness hovered, threatening to spirit away her righteous annoyance. She’d loved Deb like a sister. And had Deb lived, Kristin would never have acknowledged her own feelings for Derek as anything more than an adolescent crush. But she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She was a woman. A woman who loved him deeply.

      And he’d made it very clear today that he wasn’t the least bit interested in changing the way he viewed her.

      She sighed. Was it so wrong of her to want a family of her own and a love for the rest of her life? She was a good mother to Mollie and she knew the little girl loved her. But that wasn’t enough.

      She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, stubbornly denying tears. She was too practical to spend the rest of her life wishing for the moon. She was twenty-five years old, and she’d barely even given other men a second glance. All her life, she’d never been seriously attracted to anyone else…because she compared them all to Derek? There had been guys in college who had asked her out, but she hadn’t been interested in developing any relationships. She’d had one sexual encounter so tepid it barely ranked as such.

      And it was all Derek’s fault. He still had been married then and she’d never even entertained the thought that he might be hers someday. Even so, he’d been the standard by which she’d judged other men, even if she hadn’t realized it at the time.

      But then Deb had died. And gradually, she’d acknowledged that her girlish love hadn’t faded, hadn’t died. It had simply matured into a woman’s love. Her heart ached to heal him, but he wouldn’t let her get close.

      And Kristin wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life waiting for Derek to wake up. If he didn’t want her, it was time to move on. Her heart uttered a protest but she shushed it ruthlessly. Maybe there wasn’t another Derek Mahoney out there, but there were plenty of men, good men who could love her, men with whom she could make a home and a family.

      And if a corner of her heart would always belong to Derek, she would be the only one to know or care.

      Decision made, she nodded to herself, then picked up her pencil, determined to accomplish something in the limited time she had. Mollie still napped during the day and Kristin found the quiet afternoons were one of her most productive times. The accounting work she did was portable and she simply brought it along with her when she came to Derek’s house each afternoon.

      It was a good arrangement. He dropped Mollie off in the morning. Kristin fed her breakfast. At noon, they went back to Derek’s house for lunch and then Mollie napped while Kristin worked.

      The only time it got a little hairy was during the last frantic weeks of tax season, when she could work every hour of every day if she chose, and sometimes took on more than she should. But the money was good…and heaven knew she hadn’t been in a position to turn down extra income over the years since her father had died. Not after the debts she’d discovered he’d left.

      Actually, if she went to work full-time as an accountant, she would be able to pay off the remainder of the debt in a year or so, rather than the longer term she’d projected. That wouldn’t be so bad, she encouraged herself.

      Yes, it had been a good arrangement that she and Derek had had. But it was going to have to end.

      Mollie woke shortly after four. Her schedule was fairly predictable unless she was ill, and Kristin let her help make a meat loaf for the evening meal. She had just taken the dish out of the oven at five-thirty when the front door opened.

      She heard Mollie’s excited little voice as she chirped out the events of her day. Sarge, the shepherd mix who accompanied Derek to the clinic each day, came galloping down the hall with an exuberantly wagging tail to greet her, and she cuddled the big dog for a moment before setting his food bowl on the floor and leaving him to eat.

      ‘‘…’ n me ’n Mommy went to the libary ’n we went to the store ’n I taked a nap—’’

      ‘‘You and Kristin,’’ Derek corrected her.

      ‘‘Yeah.’’ The little girl was completely unfazed. ‘‘An’ nen I played wif Play-Doh!’’

      Kristin smiled grimly to herself as she stuffed her work in her briefcase and walked toward the front of the house. Had he thought she was exaggerating about Mollie’s new name for her?

      Derek still stood in the foyer holding Mollie in his arms. His daughter had his face sandwiched between her two tiny hands as she looked intently into his eyes and Kristin’s heart contracted at the sight of the two dark heads so close together. Quietly, she picked up her jacket. ‘‘Hi. I just took the meat loaf out so you can have dinner right away.’’

      Derek stared at her, his blue eyes dark and shuttered. ‘‘You’re not eating with us again?’’

      ‘‘No. I have a board meeting tonight.’’ Since she’d finished college, she’d sat on the animal sanctuary’s board of directors.

      His eyebrows rose. ‘‘That doesn’t start until seven. You have plenty of time.’’

      She couldn’t hold the eye contact as she started around him, expecting him to move out of her way. But he didn’t move, and his broad shoulder was too close to the door for her to pull it open. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze with a defiant one of her own. ‘‘No, thank you. Excuse me.’’

      ‘‘Are you ever going to have supper with us again?’’ He moved aside, but acted as if he hadn’t even heard her and his tone was so aggressive she nearly took a step back before she caught herself.

      ‘‘I don’t know,’’ she said cautiously. This angry man wasn’t a Derek with whom she was familiar. He was normally one of the most unflappable people she knew. Of course,