She Did a Bad, Bad Thing. Stephanie Bond

to her assigned parking spot, she bit back a curse—a little red sports car occupied her place, next to an enormous black SUV that belonged to her new neighbor. She hadn’t yet met him, but she’d heard him moving in yesterday and hoped that he would be settled by tonight. Indeed, it appeared that he already had a guest over and was already violating the building rules. She resented the people who thought living in a condo was like living in an apartment—the man was a home-owner and he’d better start acting like it. Fuming, she parked in the cramped guest parking area and headed inside.

      The sooner he was indoctrinated to the rules of condo living, the better.

      She stopped in front of her neighbor’s door and juggled her shoulder bag, an armload of catalogs, and the bag of Chinese takeout to ring the doorbell. From behind the door she heard music pulsing with a throbbing bass. She rang the doorbell again and after several long minutes, the door swung open.

      The angry words at the back of her throat dissolved.

      The man stood well over six feet tall. His hair and eyes were dark, and his jaw sported a couple of days’ worth of scruff. His skin was golden brown, and since he wore only faded jeans, she could see a lot of it. His shoulders were wide and muscled, his chest covered with a mat of black hair that disappeared into the waistband slung low enough to make her wonder if he wore any underwear. From the way he held his long body to the magnetism that rolled off him like a natural cologne, the man appeared to be built for sex.

      In a word, he was devastating.

      He appeared to be studying her, too, but from the way he tipped up his bottle of beer, he apparently found her slightly less noteworthy. “Can I help you?” he drawled.

      “Uh…I’m your next door neighbor. Jane.”

      He nodded and flashed a killer smile. “I’m Perry. Nice to meet you.”

      “Same here.” She shifted the precarious load in her arms and decided against extending her hand. “Do you drive a black SUV?”

      “Yeah.”

      “There’s a red car next to it in my parking spot. I thought you might know who it belongs to.”

      “Kayla,” he yelled over his shoulder, then took a pull on his beer.

      A lush brunette appeared, impossibly tiny and curvy in a Barbie Doll kind of way and sporting a midriff revealing sweater. For some ridiculous reason, Jane was disappointed in the man’s taste, but then what had she expected?

      “What, baby?” the girl crooned.

      “Did you park in guest parking like I told you?”

      She pouted. “The spots were too close together—I didn’t want my car to get dinged, so I parked next to your SUV.”

      He looked at Jane and shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, uh—what did you say your name was?”

      “Jane,” she said through gritted teeth.

      He pointed his finger like a gun and made a clicking noise. “Won’t happen again.”

      She opened her mouth to ask that his guest move her car, but the door closed in her face. Jane scowled, hoping the man—to paraphrase Jane Austen—improved upon closer acquaintance. The building housed only forty condos. A few jerks—or one large one—would be enough to cause problems for everyone. And since she and Perry shared a wall and a divided balcony, she would bear the brunt of it.

      Heaving a sigh, she unlocked the door to her own condo. Inside, she dropped her load on her desk, then carried the bag of Chinese food to the living room, turning on lights along the way.

      The sight of her condo never failed to calm her—she’d purposely decorated in a minimalist style in soothing shades of taupe and sky blue to make the space her own personal haven. Her walls were white, her furniture streamlined. No clutter to distract her, no mess to create more work when she should be winding down.

      Jane sighed and felt the stress of the day drain away. She changed into comfy sweats and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. A glance at the clock had her rushing to the kitchen for a bottle of water and a TV tray. Time for her show. Guilty pleasure filled her chest—would Victoria and the cop Nate get together? Or would Nate arrest Victoria for murdering her neighbor?

      Settling onto her overstuffed couch, Jane slipped off her shoes and dug her toes into the plush area rug, then clicked on the TV and reached for the bag of takeout. Suddenly the blare of pulsing music invaded her space.

      Jane frowned in the direction of the shared wall. The previous owner had been quiet—and had traveled often. Hopefully her new neighbor would soon realize that the walls of multi-family-unit buildings could be thin.

      Tamping down irritation, she increased the volume of the TV to counter the sound of the music coming through the wall. From the bag she removed a container of crab wontons and another of lo mein.

      She unwrapped the chopsticks and had a wonton halfway to her mouth when the sound of a woman’s voice came through the wall.

      “Ahh…ahh, yeah, baby, that’s it…yeah.”

      Jane stopped and turned her head toward the wall. It wasn’t…they weren’t…

      Incredulous, she lowered the volume on the television, only to be treated to a new string of sexpletives.

      “Oh, oh, oh…yes! Yes! Do it! Harder! Faster! I-eeeee! Omigod, omigod, omigod, that feels so good! Talk dirty to me—yeah, that’s it…you nasty, nasty boy.”

      Jane’s eyes widened. Nasty boy?

      A rhythmic banging sounded on the wall and she thought at first that one of them was hitting the wall with a wayward limb…then she realized with the accompanying squeaking noises that it was the man’s headboard that was banging against their shared wall.

      “Oh, good grief,” she muttered, feeling a little dirty, like a voyeur, yet curiously unable to stop listening. The woman’s caterwauling escalated in time with the banging noise and was joined by a man’s low voice.

      “Now!” she screamed. “I’m coming! Now! Now! NOWWWW!”

      From the synchronized clamor, it appeared that they arrived together. Jane sat unmoving, unable to believe what had just transpired, but distantly aware of a heaviness in her breasts and a tingle of desire in her midsection.

      Embarrassment swelled in her chest and she grappled with the remote to increase the volume over the music still pounding through the wall. She tried to concentrate on the storyline of the show, but her mind kept returning to the fact that she’d just heard her new neighbor have sex.

      As far as neighbors went, that fell under the category of TMI: Too Much Information. Especially since she could visualize his long, muscular body naked and sweaty, tangled in the sheets…And she wondered what kind of nasty things he’d said to the woman that had made her scream as if she’d hung between life and death.

      Working her mouth back and forth, Jane studied a crab wonton, then popped it into her mouth. It was the most satisfying thing she would get tonight.

      But as her attention continued to wander and she realized that she’d missed huge chunks of the program, her irritation ballooned again. Nasty Boy had foisted his sex life on her and completely ruined her evening. And while she stewed about the man’s crudeness—and rudeness—the rhythmic thumping started up again along with the woman’s commentary.

      “Oh, baby, that’s it…that’s it…oh, yeah. Say something nasty…oh, yeah.”

      Jane stuck her tongue into her cheek. Not again. She hadn’t even had time to finish her dinner! Worse, she had no idea what was happening on her show.

      She stabbed at the lo mein as the movement on the other side of the wall grew more frenetic. Nasty Boy apparently had stamina…and finesse. He knew just where to put it, oh baby, he knew just how to do it, oh yeah.

      It was like bad song lyrics.

      What