Courting Her Secret Heart. Mary Davis

care? No wonder she could be gone for hours and hours without repercussions. No one ever realized her absence.

      Amos joined them then. “How are you doing, Mr. Miller?”

      Vater waved his hands aimlessly through the air. “It’s Bartholomew. I don’t have any pain.”

      Deborah turned to Amos. “I thought you left.”

      “If you would have waited, I would have walked in with you.” He turned to Mutter. “I brought Deborah.”

      Mutter gave Deborah a double take. “You weren’t here? Then where were you?”

      Oh, dear. “I went for a walk, and before I knew it, I had gone farther than I realized, and it took me a while to get back home.”

      “Oh.” Mutter turned back to the nurse behind Vater’s wheelchair. “Are we leaving now? I want to leave now. I have supper to start.”

      “We need to wait for the doctor to sign the release papers.”

      How had any of them survived infancy and childhood with Mutter always forgetting things? Well, mostly forgetting Deborah. She didn’t have trouble with the rest of her daughters. Just her middlemost one.

      The familiar pang of being left out twisted around her heart. One of these days, she might decide not to return. Would her mutter even notice? Probably not.

      Well, it had been a perfect day until she’d come home and found out her world had been turned upside down.

      Amos’s inviting brown gaze settled on her. She wished now the buggy ride had taken longer. His look of sympathy warmed her heart. Well, at least he acknowledged her presence.

      * * *

      Amos studied Miriam, who smiled at everyone in the hospital waiting room. Did she truly like a lot of young men? Or was she just really nice? He’d been fooled by girls before. More than once. His gaze shifted back to Deborah. She stood on the edge of the crowd, with them but not really a part of them. How could no one have noticed she hadn’t been with the family when they left for the hospital? Or at least once they arrived. He admired how she seemed to take that in stride. The hospital lights didn’t spark the red hints in her hair the way the sun had.

      Deborah turned to him, and he smiled at her without thinking. Her green eyes seemed as though she could see his broken heart. There was something more to her than met the eye. Something he couldn’t quite figure out. Like she had some sort of secret. Probably just his own guilty conscience. He didn’t want to look away, but he did.

      From down the hall, a man stared at him. It was his cousin Jacob. His shunned cousin Jacob, who’d left the Amish church and community. He glanced back at the crowd of his fellow Amish waiting for Bartholomew to be released.

      He moved around the crowd to Bishop Bontrager. “I have something I need to take care of. Will you let the Millers know that I’ll meet them back at their farm?”

      The bishop nodded. “Ja. Danki for agreeing to lend them a hand. Bartholomew is going to be laid up for some time. Will your vater be able to spare you to stay on at the Millers’?”

      “Ja. I’m sure he can.” His vater had already declared the farm not big enough for Amos. He glanced in the direction where Jacob had been. “I won’t be far behind everyone.” As he hurried down the hall, he threw a glance back over his shoulder at Deborah and almost went back to her, but didn’t. When he turned the corner, he came upon his cousin, who was leaning against the wall. Jacob looked strange but gut in his English clothes, jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. They suited his cousin. “What are you doing here?”

      “I saw you drive up with one of the Miller girls. Quite a collection of Amish you’re with. None of them your family, though. And the bishop.”

      “Bartholomew Miller broke his leg.” Amos glanced back to make sure no one had followed him. “The bishop asked me to help out at their farm while they took him to the hospital.”

      Jacob nodded. “You seemed pretty content with all of them. Are you still interested in leaving?”

      Amos’s insides knotted. This would be a life-changing decision, but he didn’t see the use of the Amish life anymore. His vater didn’t have land enough for all his sons, and the Amish girls here seemed no different from the flighty ones back in Pennsylvania. Except Deborah. She seemed different. But that was what he’d thought about Esther. And Bethany. “Ja, of course I am.”

      “It might take a few weeks to get everything set up. I’ll be in touch with more information.”

      “I’ll wait to hear from you.” Once away from the community and no longer having to keep this a secret, he’d feel better about his decision. “I should go before they get suspicious.” Amos could be shunned just for talking to an ex-Amish member. But once he left, he would be shunned and turned over to the devil and excommunicated from the church, as well.

      “See you soon.” Jacob walked off in the opposite direction of the waiting room.

      Amos peeked around the corner. None of his Amish brethren remained, only a handful of Englishers. He straightened before heading down the hall and out to the buggy parking area.

      The only buggy that remained was the one he’d driven into town. Deborah sat on the buggy seat, rubbing her mitten-clad hands briskly together. She turned in his direction, and his heart sped up.

      He stopped beside the vehicle. Though she wore a kapp, the sun once again ignited the hints of red in her hair around her face. “What are you still doing here? Why didn’t you go with the others?”

      The quilt lay across her lap. “All the other buggies were full.”

      That was a little sad. She’d been left behind. Now he felt bad for making her wait.

      She picked up the reins and tilted her head. “Are you getting in? Or would you rather walk?”

      Throwing his words back at him? Little scamp. But she’d lightened his mood. He climbed in and extended his hands for the reins.

      She moved them from his reach and snapped the horse into motion.

      He couldn’t believe she’d just done that. It was audacious. “I should drive.”

      “Why?”

      “Because I’m the man and you’re a woman.”

      She set her jaw and kept control of the reins. “I’m quite capable, danki.”

      She certainly seemed so, as well as a little bit feisty. He wanted to drive, but unless he wrestled the reins away from her, it didn’t seem likely. “Did I do something to upset you?”

      “Ne.” Her answer was short and clipped.

      “It certainly seems like I did. No one else around for you to be angry at.”

      She tossed the reins into his lap. “Take them if you want to drive so badly.”

      Now he had vexed her. He didn’t want the reins this way and was tempted to leave them where they were, but that wouldn’t do for the horse to have no guidance. With the reins in hand, he pulled to the side of the street in front of an antique store and stopped. “If I haven’t upset you, then what has?”

      She took a slow breath, and for a moment, he doubted she would answer him, but then she let out a huff of white air. “It doesn’t matter.”

      “Ja, it does. Tell me.” Why did it bother him so much that she was upset? He should just let it go and get back to her family’s farm.

      “My family went off to the hospital and didn’t notice I wasn’t with them.”

      That could be quite upsetting, but he’d thought that hadn’t bothered her. He’d been wrong. “They were probably all worried