Always a Mother. Linda Warren

grabbed his car keys.

      CLAIRE SAT CROSS-LEGGED, the letters in her lap. She opened another.

      My darling Dean,

      I’m so afraid I’m going to have the baby while you’re away on a road trip. I don’t know if I can do this by myself, but I’ll never tell you that. If the time comes and you’re not here, I’ll just close my eyes and picture your loving face, like I always do. I love you, and our baby is going to be perfect—just like you.

      She closed her eyes and let herself relive a moment of that fear.

      September 24, 1983

      “YOU HAVEN’T TOLD DEAN, have you?” Bunny asked, stopping by the dorm to check on her. She always did that when Dean was away. Bunny, with her in-your-face attitude, was a hard person to get to know, but Claire had come to love her dearly.

      Claire ran her hand over her protruding stomach. “No. I haven’t told Dean I’m having contractions.”

      “He needs to be here.”

      “He has a scholarship to play football and he can’t miss a game.”

      “He’s also going to have a baby.”

      Claire heaved a sigh. “I have to go to work.”

      “What? You’re having contractions. What are you thinking?”

      Claire kissed her cheek. “I’m thinking you worry too much.”

      Bunny caught her arm. “Be reasonable…”

      Claire held up a hand to stop her. “If the baby starts to come, the manager will call an ambulance.”

      “Oh, for crying out loud.” Bunny stomped her foot. “Sometimes you love that son of mine too much!”

      Smiling, Claire reached for her purse just as someone knocked at the door. Bunny quickly opened it. Gwen stood there.

      “Mom.” Claire hadn’t seen her mother since the police tried to take her home. Robert had forbidden Gwen to contact her. Their plan was that Claire would see the error of her ways and return home. But it hadn’t happened.

      “May I speak with you, please?” her mom asked.

      Claire looked past her and didn’t see her father. That meant he didn’t know Gwen had come. Tears stung the back of Claire’s eyes. “I’m on my way to work,” she said abruptly.

      Gwen paled. “In your condition?”

      “Yes. We need the money.” She held up her head and forced the tears away.

      Her mom reached into her purse and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills. “Take this. I’ll bring more every week.”

      Claire backed away. “Sorry. I can’t take your money. Dean and I are doing just fine.”

      “Oh, yeah.” Gwen flung out a hand, the diamonds on her fingers sparkling. “He’s off having the time of his life while you’re here pregnant and working.”

      “Please leave.”

      “Claire, it’s not too late. You can give up the child for adoption and go on with your life. Remember how we talked about you joining my old sorority and—”

      “Do you really think I could carry this child for nine months and just give it away?”

      “Claire…”

      “Please leave—now.” She was losing her temper and the tight rein she had on her emotions.

      Gwen shoved the money at her. “Take it.”

      “No thanks. Dean and I are doing fine.”

      Her mother glanced around the small apartment. “I would hardly call this fine.”

      Bunny stepped around Claire. “You’d better leave before I plant my foot in your snobby mouth.”

      “How dare you?” Gwen spluttered.

      “Mom, just leave,” Claire said, knowing her mother-in-law was getting angry.

      Gwen whirled away and left.

      As Bunny closed the door, she said, “She’s right, you know. You don’t need to be working.”

      “Whose side are you on?” Claire slipped the strap of her purse over her shoulder and winced as a pain shot up her back.

      “I don’t think you have to ask that.”

      “No.” Bunny was unwavering in her support.

      She studied Claire for a moment. “Stay home until the baby comes, and I’ll buy the groceries and pay the bills.”

      Claire lifted an eyebrow. “You’ll work two shifts, right?”

      “Done it before and I can do it again.”

      Claire hugged her. “Thanks. But we’ll manage.”

      “You’re so stubborn.”

      At the fast-food place, she continued to have contractions. At times they were so bad she couldn’t concentrate. Her eyes were glued to the clock. The team was due to land at the airport at eleven. She couldn’t have the baby until Dean arrived.

      At ten forty-five she collapsed into a ball of pain, and the manager called an ambulance.

      The next thing she knew they were at the hospital. “Mrs. Rennels, are you ready to have this baby?” the doctor asked.

      “No.” She hissed between contractions. “No. My husband’s not here.”

      “I don’t think the baby’s going to wait.”

      Bunny came running in. The manager had phoned her. “How are you, sugar?”

      “Dean. I need Dean.” The words came out as a pathetic cry, but Claire couldn’t help it.

      “I just spoke to him. He’s on his way from the airport.”

      “Okay.” She could breathe normally now. Dean was coming.

      A pain ripped through her abdomen, and it took all the strength she had not to push or scream or cry.

      “Mrs. Rennels, it’s time to push,” the doctor said.

      “I can’t. My husband’s not here. Please…” A wail erupted from her throat.

      “Mrs. Rennels…”

      Loud voices could be heard in the hall and then Dean came charging in. “Claire.” He kissed her face over and over. “Thank God I made it. I was so afraid…”

      Claire let out a long breath. “Me, too.” She drew on her last ounce of strength. “Okay. I’m ready to have our baby.”

      Fifteen minutes later, Dean placed their baby daughter into her arms. A feeling of pride and love suffused her. But a part of her grieved that her parents weren’t here to share this miracle. This precious gift.

      “She’s so tiny,” she whispered weakly.

      “And perfect,” Dean said with pride. “Ten toes. Ten fingers. And the most precious little face. She looks just like you. Absolutely beautiful.”

      “You think so?”

      “You bet. What are we going to name her?”

      Claire studied the precious bundle in her arms. “How about Sarah Margaret? After Bunny. What do you think?”

      “Oh, honey. Mom will be so excited. It’s perfect.”

      “Yes…”

      Fatigue overwhelmed Claire and her eyes drooped, but in that instant, with her baby in her arms and Dean smiling at her, she knew she’d made the right choice.