The Good Behaviour Book. Марта Сирс

lid latched or the bathroom door closed. The preschooler who fights going to sleep at night gets a relaxing bedtime routine. The nine-year-old struggling to keep up with her homework gets a quiet, enticing place to work in, as well as firm restrictions on school-night television. Structure sets the stage for desirable behaviours to override undesirable ones.

      Create a toddler-friendly, toddler-safe environment. Toddlers get frustrated easily trying to live in a house furnished only for bigger bodies. Your role as designer of your child’s environment involves making your house safe for your toddler and safe from your toddler. Toddlers are full of interest. Your job is to facilitate that interest safely. This is much easier to do at home, of course. When a child sees something enticing and sparkly, he will naturally want to touch it. It’s the parent’s job to get down and help the child explore that object without damaging it, or himself, and then redirect the child’s attention.

      Putting away the breakables and the family heirlooms in your home is not a capitulation to toddler power; it is simply a way to avoid having to be constantly on guard and having to always say no to your child, causing a build up of frustration and anger in both of you. This is a much better alternative to being ever watchful and protective, or punitive toward a natural urge to explore. You, as the adult, have the maturity to put your own things aside (up or away) for a while until your child has the maturity to respect adult valuables. Keep in mind that this is only for a short time. We found that when our babies mastered crawling, we had to remove all our plants from floor level. Six months later we put the plants back down and the babies completely ignored what had been irresistible before. When your child starts to crawl, take a tour of your house from his perspective to discover what needs childproofing. There are many inexpensive products available that will help you make your home safe for your child (toilet seat latches, door-knob covers, drawer and cupboard latches, electric socket and plug covers, and so on). These and some ingenuity will enable you to protect your little scientist. Effort spent baby-proofing your home will pay off in less conflict with your toddler. Plus, you will be more relaxed parents. Childproofing also provides your young explorer with guidance from the controlled environment itself. Here’s a room-to-room guide to start with:

      Living room/family room:

      • Cover electrical sockets.

      • Secure lamp cords so lamps can’t be pulled down.

      • Anchor floor lamps, or remove them.

      • Cover controls on the television, stereo, DVD or video.

      • Cushion sharp corners on coffee tables and hearths.

      • Display breakables out of baby’s reach, or put them away for a few years.

      • Reorganize bookshelves (toddlers love to empty these, tearing covers and dust jackets).

      • Move plants.

      Dining room/eating area:

      • Push chairs all the way up to the table to prevent climbing.

      • Install latches on drawers or cupboards holding breakable dishes.

      • Push items on the tabletop to the centre.

      • Fold tablecloth corners under and up, out of grabbing distance.

      Bathroom:

      • Keep medicines, razors, pins, mouthwash, cosmetics, perfume, nail polish and remover, scissors, and other dangerous objects out of reach.

      • Keep medicine cabinet latched.

      • Pad bath taps.

      • Place a non-slip mat in the bath.

      • Use rugs with non-slip backings.

      • Keep the toilet seat down and latched.

      • Empty the bath after use. Don’t leave children unattended in the bath.

      • Use plastic, not glass or ceramic, cups and soap dishes.

      • Keep the bathroom door shut.

      Kitchen:

      • Store knives out of reach.

      • Unplug small appliances. Don’t leave cords dangling.

      • Store cleansers, solvents, bleaches, dishwasher detergent, and other poisons out of baby’s reach in a latched cupboard.

      • Cook on the back burners, and turn pot handles toward the back.

      • Cover the hob controls, or remove them.

      • Store breakables, things your baby can choke on, and other dangerous objects out of reach. Remember, that toddlers can climb onto kitchen surfaces.

      • Use unbreakable dishes when your baby is around.

      • Store plastic bags and plastic grocery bags out of reach.

      • Hold hot drinks where your baby can’t grab them, and keep them away from the edge of tables or counters.

      Windows and doors:

      • Keep sliding glass doors closed or locked.

      • Place stickers at toddler eye level on glass doors.

      • Lock windows.

      • Shorten the cords on curtains and blinds to get them up out of children’s reach.

      • Use netting to enclose the rails on balconies so that your baby can’t squeeze through.

      Miscellaneous:

      • Don’t forget the garage, with paint thinners, antifreeze, gardening tools, supplies, insecticides, and other hazards.

      • Use a safety gate at the top and bottom of stairs, especially if they are steep and unpadded. Some parents choose instead, if their stairs are carpeted and not too steep, to let the baby learn to crawl up and back down and keep a close eye on the ungated stairs for the few weeks it takes baby to learn.

      • You can move an adjustable safety gate from doorway to doorway to keep your child away from temptation when you can’t be right on his heels to supervise. Being able to block off the kitchen, for example, can save a lot of wear on mum and dad – you may not want the saucepan cupboard emptied at every opportunity. It’s safe, but sometimes mum can only take so much.

      Once you have the “don’t-touch” items out of the way, consider positive steps you can take to encourage good behaviour in your toddler. Give him his own drawer in the kitchen, filled with interesting items to pull out, sort, and study, things like measuring spoons, plastic dishes, a potato masher. Provide things of his own around the house that he can push, pull, turn, and manipulate. Give him a safe outlet for climbing. Let him experiment with pouring water in a saucepan outside or in a bath, or at the sink under your supervision. Uncooked rice or oatmeal are easy-to-clean-up indoor substitutes for pouring sand.

      Placing child-sized furniture around the house encourages the busy toddler to sit still longer and “work” at her own special table. A step stool will help her reach the kitchen sink for hand washing, tooth brushing, and for “helping” in the kitchen.

      Toddlerhood is an exciting time in a child’s life. It can be great fun just to watch your little one play. Being observant will also help you know when to step in and help out and when to let your child work out a problem on his own. A safe environment allows him to do this.

      Organize your day to fit your child. It’s easier to shuffle your daily schedule around a bit than to change the temperament of your toddler. Do not set yourself up for impossible struggles. You know your own child best, and you will learn by trial and error what works. Try these tips:

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