I Carried a Watermelon. Katy Brand

      

      I CARRIED A WATERMELON

      Katy Brand

       Copyright

      HQ

      An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

      First published in Great Britain by

      HQ, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019

      Copyright © Katy Brand 2019

      Katy Brand asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

      Source ISBN: 9780008352783

      E-book Edition © 2019 ISBN: 9780008352806

      Version: 2019-09-12

       Dedication

      For all the Babys. Never stop trying.

      

       Cover

       Title Page

      Copyright

      Dedication

      Introduction

      1 Hungry Eyes

      2 Do You Love Me?

      3 De Todo Un Poco

      4 Big Girls Don’t Cry

       5 You Don’t Own Me

       6 In the Still of the Night

       7 Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

       8 Overload

       9 Kellerman’s Anthem

       10 (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life

       References

       Index

       Acknowledgements

       About the Publisher

      

      This is the book I have always wanted to write. I just hadn’t realised it until 2019, the year of my fortieth birthday. My husband asked me what I wanted to do to mark the occasion, and I said without hesitation, ‘I want to watch Dirty Dancing.’ It even surprised me a little, hearing it come out of my mouth, but we sat down, found it on Netflix and settled in for the evening. I’m so glad we did, because it felt like coming home.

      It had been some time since I’d last seen Dirty Dancing – a few years – but as soon we pressed play, and that banging, jangling opening to ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ by The Four Seasons came through the speakers, I was right back there where it all began. I felt excited. I felt it wouldn’t let me down, and I hoped I wouldn’t regret it. I think in some ways I wanted to have a moment to reflect on the first 40 years of my life. To look back on my teenage years, and compare myself now, to the girl I was then. I needed a way to measure my progress, and with that need came the realisation that Dirty Dancing has been a constant influence in my life since I was 11 years old. Would my reaction to it remain the same? How much of that obsessed girl (because I was entirely obsessed with Dirty Dancing) remains within me, and how much of her has fallen away?

      Of course, since my obsession abated from its height at around the age of 13 (when I was viewing it daily), I have watched Dirty Dancing a good few times, but as an adult I haven’t really concentrated on it, or myself properly, as it plays out on the screen. Suddenly I wanted to focus on it, to really see it again in all its glory. I saw the fortieth birthday screening as part of my development as a person, and maybe a way of rounding off the first half of my life, giving me a pause as I enter the foothills of middle age, and beyond. This book is largely the product of that evening. I’m so glad my husband was cool with it.

      And afterwards, as the credits rolled, I sat quietly by myself for a moment, enjoying that special glow you get when a story transports you. It’s a ‘proper film’ – exciting, honest, sexy, moving, and uplifting. It was all still there. It’s so life-affirming and joyful, but with enough substance to keep you satisfied. Life can wear you down, and by now I have suffered a few slings and arrows of my own, but I went to bed, newly 40 feeling as invincible as I had as a teenager. That night I fell in love with Dirty Dancing all over again.

      But perhaps it’s also been a while since you’ve seen it and are a little hazy yourself, or maybe you’ve never seen it at all (in which case, I’m somewhat amazed you are reading this book – you must really like me, thanks very much …), so here is a summary of Dirty Dancing, that I am going to write in a slight frenzy of love and excitement – can I get it all down in one attempt without checking anything? Let’s go …

       The Plot of Dirty Dancing

      It’s 1963 and Baby Houseman is 17 years old. As the film opens, she is sitting in the backseat of her family’s car, as they drive to a holiday resort called Kellerman’s in the Catskill Mountains. Baby is reading in the back, and somehow managing not to get car-sick. Her father Jake, a hard-working doctor, drives with a smile of contentment on his face, every inch the respectable family man. Her mother, Marge, is calm and understanding, while Lisa, Baby’s older sister, panics that she hasn’t brought enough shoes.

      At first, the family settle into resort life, with its dancing lessons and boating lake. It’s like a posh American Butlin’s. It’s relaxing, yes, but (dare Baby admit it?) perhaps a little boring. All this changes when professional dance instructors Penny and Johnny put on an evening show for the guests. Their performance is energetic, sexy and powerful, and Baby is transfixed, but also intrigued.

      Later that night, she wanders into the staff area, though it’s forbidden to guests. There, she finds Billy, a resort porter, who is attempting to carry three large watermelons to a party. Why he needs so many watermelons is not immediately clear, but not to worry, the point is that Baby loves to help out – she isn’t just a spoilt rich girl – and so she takes one from him. She follows Billy into the party, and suddenly she is transported into a whole new world. A dirty, dirty world.

      The hotel staff are unwinding after a hard day’s work by having a good old dance. And it’s not just any dancing – this is full-on, filthy grinding, a universe away from the sedate shuffling going on front of house. Penny and Johnny arrive, join in for a while, and then suddenly Baby is in Johnny’s arms, having her first unofficial dancing lesson. This sensual moment