Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 3. Derek Landy

      “There’s a whole colony of octopus people,” Skulduggery said as they approached the door.

      “Really?”

      “Good God, Stephanie, of course not. That would be far too silly.”

      He walked on before she could even try to hit him. The shop door was unlocked and he led the way in. Stephanie was surprised by how clean and bright and ordinary-looking it was. She didn’t know what she was expecting – mannequins that came alive and tried to eat you, perhaps. There was a nice smell in here too. Comforting.

      Ghastly Bespoke walked out from the backroom and when he saw them he smiled. He shook Skulduggery’s hand warmly. He was broad-shouldered and his scars covered his whole head. When Skulduggery turned to introduce Stephanie, and he saw the way she was staring at Ghastly, he shrugged.

      “Don’t mind her,” he said. “She stares. That’s what she does when she meets new people.”

      “I’m quite used to it,” Ghastly said, still smiling. “Do you want to shake hands, Miss, or start off with something easy, like waving?”

      Stephanie felt herself blush and she stuck out her hand quickly. His hand was normal, no scars, but tough and strong.

      “Do you have a name?” he asked.

      “Not yet,” she admitted.

      “Better make sure that you really want one before you think any more about it. This life isn’t for everyone.”

      She nodded slowly, not sure what he was getting at. He took a moment, looking her up and down.

      “There’s been some trouble?”

      “Some,” answered Skulduggery.

      “Then the proper attire is probably called for.” Ghastly took out a small pad, started jotting down notes. “Do you have a favourite colour?” he asked her.

      “I’m sorry?”

      “To wear. Any preference?”

      “I’m not sure I understand…”

      “Not all of the clothes I make are merely examples of exquisite tailoring. Sometimes, if the situation arises, special requirements are catered for.”

      “Such as keeping you safe until this whole thing is over,” Skulduggery said. “Ghastly can make you a suit, nothing too formal, which could very possibly save your life.”

      “Fashion,” said Ghastly with a shrug. “It’s life or death.” His pen was at the ready. “So, once more, do you have a favourite colour to wear?”

      “I… I’m not sure I could afford it…”

      Ghastly shrugged. “I’ll put it on Skulduggery’s tab. Go nuts.”

      Stephanie blinked. To go from her mother buying most of her clothes to this was a step she hadn’t been expecting. “I don’t know, I’m not sure… Black?”

      Ghastly nodded and scribbled in his notebook. “Can’t go wrong with black.” He looked up at Skulduggery. “Just let me lock up,” he said, “then we can talk properly.”

      While they waited for him to do so, Skulduggery and Stephanie wandered into the back of the shop. Material and fabrics of all types and textures were arranged very neatly in massive shelves that lined the walls. There was a single workplace in the centre of the room and another doorway leading further back.

      “He’s going to make me clothes?” Stephanie whispered.

      “Yes, he is.”

      “Doesn’t he need to take measurements or something?”

      “One glance, that’s all he needs.”

      They passed through into a small living room, and moments later Ghastly joined them. Stephanie and Skulduggery sat on the narrow sofa and Ghastly sat in the armchair opposite, both feet flat on the ground and fingers steepled.

      “So what’s all this about?” he asked.

      “We’re investigating Gordon Edgley’s murder,” Skulduggery said.

      “Murder?” Ghastly said after a short pause.

      “Indeed.”

      “Who would want to kill Gordon?”

      “We think Serpine did it. We think he was looking for something.”

      “Skul,” Ghastly said, frowning, “usually when you want my help you just call and we go off and you get me into a fight. You’ve never explained what’s going on before, so why are you doing it now?”

      “This is a different type of help I need.”

      “So you don’t need me to hit anyone?”

      “We’d just like your help in finding out what Serpine is after.”

      “I see,” Ghastly said, nodding his head.

      “You don’t see, do you?”

      “No,” Ghastly said immediately. “I really don’t know what you want me to do.”

      “We think Serpine is after the Sceptre of the Ancients,” Stephanie said and she felt Skulduggery sink lower into the cushion beside her.

      “The what?” Ghastly said, his smile reappearing. “You’re not serious, are you? Listen, I don’t know what my dear friend here has been saying, but the Sceptre isn’t real.”

      “Serpine thinks it’s real. We think that has something to do with my uncle’s death.”

      “I’m sorry for your loss,” Ghastly said, “I really am. I respected Gordon. He knew there was magic in the world and he wasn’t seduced by it. He just wanted to observe and to write about it. That takes a strength that I hope has been passed on to you.”

      Stephanie didn’t answer. Skulduggery didn’t look at her.

      “But,” Ghastly continued, “to say that his death has something to do with a legend that has been passed down from generation to generation, and that has changed with each telling, is just nonsense. He had a heart attack. He was mortal. He died. That’s what mortals do. Let him have his death.”

      “I think my uncle knew where the Sceptre is, or he had it and Serpine killed him, and now Serpine knows where it is and that’s why he wants the key.”

      “What key?”

      “The key to get the Sceptre maybe. We’re not sure. What we do know is that he tried to kill me twice to get it.”

      Ghastly shook his head. “This isn’t your world.”

      “I’m a part of it now.”

      “You’ve just stepped into it. You’ve seen magic and sorcerers and a living skeleton and I bet you’re having great fun – but you haven’t the slightest idea what’s at stake.”

      Skulduggery didn’t say anything. Stephanie got to her feet.

      “You know what?” she said. “For me, this is an adventure. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? Well, you’re right. I do look at all this as a big adventure, and I’m fascinated and excited and thrilled by it all. I’ve seen amazing people do amazing things, and I’ve been amazed.” Her eyes hardened. “But don’t you dare, for one second, think that this is just a game to me. My uncle left me a fortune: he left me everything I could ever want. He did all that for me, but he’s dead now. So now I’m going to do something for him. I’m going to find out who killed him, and I’m going to do what I can to make sure they don’t just walk away from it. He’s got to have someone on his side.”

      “This is