Modern Romance February 2020 Books 1-4. Louise Fuller

rejections and that, no matter what he said in that measured and cool voice of his, he was still scarred by the damage his mother’s abandonment had inflicted. And so stubborn too, so set in his views that he had completely rejected the olive branch and the explanations that the woman had tried to offer. Of course, in such circumstances that was his right, she accepted ruefully, resolving in that moment not to interfere on behalf of a woman who, it seemed, was a most undeserving cause. She herself would sooner have cut off her arm than walk away from Hari.

      ‘I’m sorry I asked,’ she told him truthfully. ‘I can’t blame you for feeling the way you do about her.’

      And she decided not to mention the personal approach that had been made to her by his mother, which would undoubtedly only annoy Jai and where was the point in that? It would be yet another wounding reminder of the wretched woman that he didn’t need. No, she would stay safely uninvolved in a matter that was none of her business and ignore that email.

      Jai strolled round the courtyard garden with her after dinner, but Willow was quiet and withdrawn in receipt of that unexpected attention. After all, she really didn’t know where she stood with Jai any more. Her first week with him had been magical and then he had virtually vanished, and with that vanishing act all her insecurities had been revived. Why would he want to spend time with her when he had never really wanted to marry her in the first place? How could she feel neglected when she had known beforehand that she was entering a marriage without love? How could she even complain?

      ‘I screwed up this week,’ Jai declared, in a driven undertone.

      In silence, Willow shrugged a stiff shoulder and hovered below the ancient banyan tree in the centre of the garden, which sheltered a sacred shrine much revered by the staff. ‘I didn’t complain about anything,’ she reminded him with pride, studying him with clear green eyes.

      Her problem, though, was that Jai was gorgeous, in whatever light and in whatever clothing. Nothing detracted from his sheer magnificence: the luxuriant black hair, the chiselled cheekbones and flawless skin, the stunning ice-blue eyes and the dramatic lashes that surrounded them, and he had an equally beautiful body, she allowed, her face warming at that unarguable acknowledgement. Unfortunately for her, on every physical plane, Jai drew her like a magnet. One certain look, one smile and she was all over him like a stupid rash and that both infuriated her and made her feel weak and foolish. After the week she had endured of being ignored in and out of bed, she knew that in reality she meant very little to Jai and it felt degrading to still be attracted to a man who could simply switch off and forget her very existence.

      The real source of Willow’s frustration, however, was, undeniably, that she had no idea what was going on inside his head. She was beginning to wonder if it was possible that, aside of sex, Jai hadn’t a clue how to behave in the sort of relationship that a marriage required. The first week with him had been heavenly and she had been so happy with him that she had practically floated, but the past week of being ignored had been a sobering wake-up call that hurt her self-esteem. One minute she had seemed as necessary to him as the air he needed to breathe, the next she had become the invisible woman.

      ‘I will spend more time with you from now on,’ Jai intoned with deadly seriousness.

      Willow paled and walked on down the path. ‘Don’t push yourself,’ she heard herself say curtly, the colour of embarrassment stinging her cheeks.

      ‘It’s not like that,’ Jai assured her levelly, lifting a long-fingered brown hand to rest on her shoulder with an intimacy she resented because it reminded her too much of those carnal, expert hands sliding over her body.

      ‘Well, going by the past week, it is like that,’ Willow replied, squaring her slight shoulders and stepping away to break that physical connection. ‘You don’t know what you want from me…apart from the obvious…sex,’ she condemned between gritted teeth. ‘And this past week, not even that. You married me and I don’t think you know what to do with me now that you’ve got what you said you wanted!’

      Evidently stunned by that disconcerting burst of frankness, Jai briefly froze, his darkly handsome features taut.

      ‘Goodnight, Jai,’ Willow murmured quietly and walked back indoors, for once proud of herself for not succumbing to the sexual infatuation that had entrapped her into something that felt disturbingly like an obsession.

      Why was she feeling like that? Even not seeing Jai hurt, never mind not being touched by him or talking to him. Somehow, he had sparked off a hunger inside her that tugged at her through every hour of the day and she resented him for reducing her to that needy level. He should’ve started their marriage on cooler, more detached terms if that was how he intended it to be. Instead he had given her deceptive false messages and had shaken her up from the inside out.

      Well, she was not some pushover for him to lift and literally lay whenever he fancied, she was strong, independent and nobody’s fool, she reminded herself doggedly. She might not have been her father or Jai’s intellectual equal, but had always been shrewd when it came to people and the often confusing difference between what they said and what they actually did. She knew how to look after herself even if she had once been foolish enough to succumb to a one-night stand with Jai.

      Tense from that encounter in the garden, she went upstairs to look in on Hari as he slept, safe and smiling in the baby equivalent of the Land of Nod, probably dreaming of being rocked in a silver swing by devoted handmaidens while being fed ambrosia. If only life were so simple for her, she thought wryly. Lifting her head high, she scolded herself for that downbeat thought. She had Hari and life was very good for him. She had health and security too. There was no excuse for feeling that her life lacked anything. In that mood, she scooped up silk pyjamas from her cavernous collection of lingerie and went for a bath.

      She was lying back on her padded bath pillow engaged in aggressively counting the many blessings she had to be grateful for when, with a slight knock and only a momentary hesitation, the door opened to frame Jai on the threshold, tall and lean, dark and hazardous, pale eyes glittering like stars framed by black velvet. Willow jerked up in surprise and hugged her knees with defensive hands, feeling invaded. ‘I didn’t ask you to come in.’

      Jai tilted his dark head back, a dangerous glint in his bright gaze. ‘What makes you think I need permission to speak to my wife?’

      Willow lifted a pale brow. ‘Courtesy?’

      Jai closed the door and sank down on the edge of the bath, deliberately entering her safe space. ‘Courtesy won’t get us anywhere we want to travel right now.’

      Willow lifted her chin. ‘Then get out of here…now!’ she challenged.

      Disturbingly, Jai laughed and trailed a forefinger through the rose petals swirling round her knees. ‘I don’t think so. I am where I want to be. If you can be direct, so can I. I want you.’

      At the sound of that declaration the blood drummed up through Willow’s body like an adrenalin boost. ‘Since…when?’ she mocked.

      ‘I can’t switch it off. With you, it’s a primal and very basic urge and it hurts to deny it.’ Jai’s fingertip glided up out of the water to slowly stroke the soft underside of her full lower lip and her heart hammered at an insane rate.

      ‘So, why did you?’ she whispered unevenly.

      ‘I thought I should. I don’t know why. I don’t like feeling out of control,’ Jai admitted thickly, his mesmeric gaze holding hers with sheer force of will. ‘And you often make me feel out of control…’

      And a huge wave of heat that had nothing to do with the temperature of the water shot up through Willow. Her brain was blurring as though it had been enveloped in fog. She could feel her own heart thrumming inside her chest, the tautness of her pointed nipples, the pool of liquefying warmth at her core, but she couldn’t think straight and when he angled his mouth down to hers, her mouth opened, only anticipation guiding her. His mouth on hers was like paraffin thrown on a bonfire, shooting multicoloured sparks of heat through every fibre, and only a slight gasp escaped her