The Mills & Boon Christmas Wishes Collection. Maisey Yates

he has to go back to work. And I’d hazard a guess it won’t be long before he heads back to Australia for good, once things are sorted with his family. Why start something and get my heart ripped out when he moves back to his beachside lifestyle…? I’ll be a distant memory, the pale-faced girl wearing fur, when he’ll be around all the sun-kissed girls in bikinis…”

      With an exasperated sigh Amory said, “Stop imagining the worst, darling! As far as I can tell he’s got no inclination to go home, but you’re not exactly giving him a reason to stay by not admitting how you feel, are you? He probably thinks you’re only kissing him when you’re bored or something, because afterwards you act like it hasn’t happened! You need him for the chalets. Ned practically insisted.” At the confused look in my eyes she sighed. “Ned’s report said you need a registered builder here during the chalet refurbishments, no ‘maybe’ about it. And Timothy mentioned there’s a ton of building work going on in the next town over. So… what this means is, if you really wanted it to happen, it could happen. Stop making excuses, Clio. Stop hiding. Really.”

      I tapped my pen against the desk, glad she didn’t push any more. “Imagine if he stayed.”

      She waggled her eyebrows and hummed the wedding march, just as Kai walked in. I blushed furiously. How many people were up at midnight around here! Quickly I said, “So, yeah, we need to order those martini glasses, and…”

      “On it,” she said with a smirk. “I’d better go to my office and get that done straight away. It’s totally soundproof when I shut the door. Which is good. Means I can concentrate. Gotta love a big oak door, don’t make ‘em like that any more. Can’t hear a peep.” She leaped up and made for the door. “Come on, Scotty, we’d better leave these two alone…”

      I made faces behind Kai’s back for her to shut the hell up as the puppy raced to her side. He turned and caught me waving frantically at her to leave. I snatched my arms back and pasted on a smile. “Numb fingers,” I motioned to my hand. “So much writing. So many to-do lists. Really, I should probably type them.” I was rambling, Amory was ridiculous, the whole situation was too slapstick to be believed.

      Kai gave us both polite smiles and we paused.

      “Toodles!” Amory said and waltzed out of the room with the puppy under her arm.

      Toodles? “Sit down,” I said. “If you want.” Gah.

      “Sorry about the late-night disturbance, but my boss called. He wants me to head back as soon as possible. I tried to put him off, but he really needs me since more contracts have arrived. No rest for the wicked, hey?”

      My heart fell. Plummeted, even. What horrible timing. Just as I’d built up the courage to say something. Was it even worth the risk…? How long would it be before his parents called him back, or he craved the Australian sunshine, the beach culture? “I don’t want you to go,” I said suddenly, the words escaping before I could stop them.

      He stared at me and I hoped he’d read between the lines. Did I have to spell it out? “Really, Kai. I don’t want you to go.”

      “I’ll fly back to Cedarwood when I can,” he said hurriedly, “and help with Ned when the chalet renovations start in earnest. Micah knows the plan and I can keep Ned sweet with phone calls, and lots of talk about meeting code, and…”

      I swallowed panic. It was now or never, and I sent up a silent prayer to the universe that he wouldn’t laugh in my face. “Kai, stop. I don’t care about the chalets, the code, or Ned. I care about you. The reason I want you to stay is…” Why was it so hard to say how I felt? “…The thought of you leaving depresses me. When you’re gone, I feel like a piece of my heart is missing. Even though we lead two very different lives, and you may leave the US for good, I want you to know I have feelings for you…” Heat rushed to my face and my hands shook. There, I’d said it. It was almost a relief, until I realized he hadn’t said a word.

      “Clio…” he breathed, and without giving him a chance to say anything more I pulled him forward into a kiss and put everything I had into it. I didn’t want him to leave without knowing how I felt. It was damn good to be honest with him – and honest with myself too. I’d spent the better part of my life hiding from my feelings, so panicked about possible rejection that I hadn’t really been living, or maybe only living vicariously through the brides-to-be I planned weddings for. Well, that had to stop. It was time for me to be just as ambitious with my love life as I was with my career…

       Chapter Thirty-Seven

      The next morning I was lolling in bed replaying my confession to Kai and coming to the horrible realization that he hadn’t exactly reciprocated with the whole sharing-your-feelings thing. Sure, I hadn’t really given him a chance, instead choosing to lock lips with him, but how did he feel in return? Would he leave in the early hours of the morning, avoiding a goodbye again? Surely not this time, after I’d opened up to him. This was why I tended to avoid romance; it was so damn messy and complicated. But oh so rewarding when a man could kiss the way Kai could and make you forget about the world around you. The problem was, I had forgotten everything and, after we’d chatted for a while about this and that, he’d headed up to bed. Alone. Was that a sign? A nice way of telling me no?

      Rolling out of bed to start the day, I jumped as the phone rang. “Cedarwood Lodge.” I made my voice bright, even though it was a little early for phone calls and I hadn’t even had any caffeine yet. I went to the bay window, catching sight of Kai as he headed to the chalets, wearing his tool belt. He was still here, then, hadn’t done another midnight flit. My heart fluttered at the sight of him.

      “Clio! It’s Tim. Have I caught you at a bad time?” I wrenched my gaze away from the window and traipsed downstairs, wondering why Tim needed me so damn early in the morning. “It’s OK, Tim. I’m just about to make coffee,” I said, pulling on my robe as I went.

      “Still have it black with no sugar?”

      I smiled, amused he remembered. My head was still so full of last night with Kai I needed a double shot of caffeine to get my brain into full-on party-planner mode. I shook the Kai daydream away, and focused on the call. “Still the very same. What about you? Milky white with two sugars?”

      He laughed. “No sugar these days. Life is so boring when you’re an adult!”

      When we were younger we’d had plenty of study sessions, cramming for exams, wired on so much coffee. The good old days when life was simple.

      “What can I do for you, Tim?” I asked, pulling down a mug and reaching over for the coffee pot. Cruz must’ve been up already and brewed an extra-large jug for us, knowing that between me and Amory we’d guzzle it down like water.

      “Just confirming you received my email about the jazz band?” The string quartet had been canned and we’d chosen a jazz band to fit the Gatsby theme instead.

      “Yes, I did. All booked and confirmed.” Was he not getting my replies? I’d definitely emailed him straight back.

      “That’s good to hear,” he said, his voice suddenly wistful. “What about the fireworks? Did the company return your call?”

      Had they? I struggled to remember in my un-caffeinated state. Between us, Amory handled some of the suppliers, and I handled the rest. “I’ll have to double-check with Amory. I think she was pushing for silent fireworks so we don’t upset the animal life around Cedarwood, but still have the wow factor from the colors and patterns.” Proud puppy owner Amory had definitely changed her attitude since becoming a canine mom.

      “OK, that makes sense. Let me know?”

      “Sure, I’ll send you an email as soon as I find out.”

      “Just call me, Clio. It’s easier when I’m out and about with clients.”

      I frowned. Maybe he was