Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

’ve always thought,” Skulduggery said as he drove, “that Skulduggery would be an excellent name to give a baby.”

      “Well,” Valkyrie said, nodding slowly, “I’ll be sure to pass on the suggestion. But what if it’s a girl?”

      “Skulduggery,” Skulduggery said.

      “Boy or girl, the same name?”

      “Yes.”

      “I don’t think my parents would go for the name Skulduggery, if I’m being honest. If it’s a girl, they might decide on Stephanie Number Two because they’ll probably never see me again.”

      “You’re such a pessimist.”

      “We’re about to walk into the Sanctuary, where they all want to arrest me.”

      “You did break the law.”

      “I was rescuing you.”

      He shrugged. “I was happy where I was.”

      “Don’t talk to me any more.”

      “I still haven’t thanked you properly for rescuing me, have I?”

      “Nope.”

      “I will,” he said and nodded.

      They parked at the rear of the Waxworks Museum and got out.

      “They’re not going to arrest you,” Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. “They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won’t arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There’s a good chance they will. But the important thing is that I’ve done nothing wrong.”

      “For once.”

      Skulduggery led the way through the darkness and Valkyrie frowned. Her Necromancer ring was cold. Skulduggery murmured something and took out his gun. The Sanctuary door was open and the Phil Lynott figure was lying motionless on the ground. It didn’t look up as they crept by. Skulduggery headed down the stairs first, Valkyrie right behind him. There was blood smeared on the wall.

      They stepped out into the Foyer. Cleavers lay dead. Valkyrie couldn’t tell how many there were. They’d been torn to pieces.

      Skulduggery motioned to the open door ahead and they moved to it quietly. A sorcerer was crumpled in the corridor beyond, a gaping hole in his chest. They went through, sticking to the walls, not making a sound. The Sanctuary was eerily, unnaturally quiet.

      There was a dead vampire around the next corner. Its bone-white body had almost been cut in half by a Cleaver’s scythe. Valkyrie had never had the opportunity to study one of these animals close up before – not without fighting for her life at the same time. It was male, and bald, and its wide mouth was open, a red pointed tongue lolling out over its jagged teeth. Its black eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling.

      They moved on and saw another vampire, its head cut off. Beside it lay a sorcerer Valkyrie had once chatted with. His face had been ripped apart by a swipe of the vampire’s claw. He was dead too.

      Skulduggery motioned to her then pointed down an adjoining corridor, towards the holding cells. She nodded and they changed course. Her mouth was dry. She realised she was terrified. Every new corridor held more dead bodies. An army of vampires had come through here – for all they knew, an army of vampires was still down here.

      They turned a corner and Davina Marr spun towards them, her eyes wild. Skulduggery waved and her gun flew from her hand. He pushed and she shot back off her feet and hit the wall. He kept his hand splayed, holding her there.

      “What happened?” he whispered.

      Marr opened her mouth to shout and Skulduggery whipped his hand to the side. Marr hit the opposite wall and fell to the ground, unconscious.

      Valkyrie resisted the urge to kick her as they passed, and they continued on to the holding cells. Skulduggery stood guard while Valkyrie released Ghastly and Tanith. Moving quietly, Tanith hugged Skulduggery and Ghastly shook his hand.

      “Welcome back,” Ghastly said, speaking softly. “Now what is going on?”

      “Vampires.”

      “What?”

      “We don’t know how many are still here, so move out and keep it quiet.”

      They moved quickly back the way they had come then broke right. Tanith picked up a Cleaver’s fallen scythe. They passed the open doors into the Repository, the closed door into the Gaol and turned left. In the corridor ahead of them, Thurid Guild was propped up against the wall. He was clutching his arm, which was obviously broken. Blood ran from a cut above his eye.

      He saw them and shook his head sharply. They froze. His eyes twitched left.

      A vampire padded into view, its mouth smeared with the blood of others. It approached Guild and he shrank back. It sniffed him and growled. Guild raised his hand to push the air and the vampire swiped, almost lazily, and the Grand Mage’s fingers fell to the floor. Guild screamed and the vampire moved in. Skulduggery whistled through his teeth.

      The vampire swivelled its head, its black eyes widening when it saw all the fresh meat on offer. It forgot about Guild and bounded towards them.

      Valkyrie, Skulduggery and Ghastly pressed against the air and the vampire hit an invisible wall. It snapped and clawed and roared, but there were no gaps to get through. Skulduggery held out his other hand and Valkyrie felt the air shift, as another invisible wall closed in on the vampire from behind. Skulduggery closed his hand gently, trapping the creature. The vampire lifted off the ground, squirming and flailing, but unable to free itself.

      “Stay here,” Skulduggery muttered, tossing his revolver to Ghastly before moving back to the holding cells, taking the vampire with him.

      They crossed to Guild and Tanith helped him to his feet. He was sweating and his teeth were chattering. Valkyrie knew well the signs of someone going into shock.

      “Get his fingers,” Tanith told her as she helped Guild hobble down the corridor, Ghastly leading the way.

      Valkyrie blanched. Doing her best not to gag, she picked up the three pale fingers and held them away from her as she followed the others. She dropped one and stepped on it.

      “Damn,” she said.

      “Why is she saying damn?” Guild muttered, too weak to look around. “What is she doing?”

      Tanith glanced back to see Valkyrie hopping on one foot, trying to work the finger out from the grooves on the bottom of her boot.

      “Nothing,” Tanith said, shooting her a glare before turning back.

      Once again holding all three fingers, Valkyrie hurried after them.

      The Cleavers were on their third sweep of the Sanctuary by the time Guild’s fingers were reattached. The final tally was fourteen dead vampires, plus one live vampire in a holding cell, and seventeen dead sorcerers. Nine Cleavers had died. The injured were brought in and quarantined as the Sanctuary doctors worked to rid their systems of the infections brought on by vampire bites. Three more died on the operating tables while Valkyrie was standing there.

      Against the doctor’s orders, Guild left the Medical Bay as soon as he was able. His broken arm was in a sling and his damaged hand was wrapped in a glove designed to speed up the healing process.

      “It was Dusk,” he told them as they walked the blood-splattered corridors. “We thought he was still imprisoned in Russia. They didn’t bother to tell us he’d escaped two weeks ago. Billy-Ray Sanguine burrowed into his cell apparently, and they fought their way out. The Russians didn’t bother to tell us that either.”

      “So Sanguine and Dusk are working together again,” Skulduggery said. “But why? What happened here?”

      “Dusk planted