Modern Romance December 2019 Books 5-8. Jane Porter

      Stacey’s usual upbeat mood was flagging as she flopped into bed. Why would Lucas never open up? Instinct told her he’d never move on until he did. And though building a monstrous business was huge credit to him, where was his personal life? Did he have one? Didn’t he want one? Or wasn’t he capable of building something requiring feelings and giving his all, and risking his heart?

       You’re a fine one to talk.

      Yup. That was a fair accusation. But this was about Lucas, not about Stacey.

      Even with all the complications, she loved being with him. The rescue spoke volumes about him. He was a very special individual, and their relationship, such as it was, was very special to her. Sex had been extraordinary; far more pleasure, and infinitely more emotional investment than she had expected.

      She smiled, remembering the moment they’d found the cat. Cradling the small, half-frozen animal had woken her heart. Maybe she should get a cat. However fabulous this accommodation and however successful her life, it didn’t make up for the stark fact that she was alone.

       So change things.

      Change things? Her mouth tilted at a disbelieving angle as her inner voice had its say. It wasn’t that easy to change things, as proved by the fact that it was midnight and she was out of bed pacing the room. She glanced at the huge, comfortable bed. There was nothing wrong with it, it was just too big for one person.

      Luc’s room was only a little way down the corridor.

      That’s a crazy idea, her sensible self warned.

      Crazy or not, he had to get things off his chest.

       Pardon me if I stay out of the way when he shoots you down in flames.

      When you cared about someone that was a chance you had to take.

      She smiled as she glanced at the door…the door she’d left a little bit open, as if Luc would take that sort of hint! He was far too worldly-wise to fall for her clumsy ruses these days. If he did notice her door was open, he’d close it as he walked past. Bottom line. If she didn’t do something, nothing would change. Reviewing occasions of being proactive in the past, she could only conclude they’d all worked out well. There was no rule that said she had to wait around for things to happen, and she had no intention of revisiting that wallflower on the bench. It was time the wallflower took matters into her own hands. And there was no time like the present.

      Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, she tiptoed out of the room. Padding down the corridor, as she had expected she found Luc’s door firmly closed. Turning the handle carefully, she opened the door without a noise. Cautiously peering in, she was rewarded by the sight of Lucas sprawled face down on the bed in all his naked splendour. She took a moment to admire him as she might admire a sculpture in a gallery. Built on a heroic scale, he was a magnificent sight.

      She curbed a smile at the thought that her crazy plan was to slip into bed beside him. And when he woke they’d have a chat? Fantasies like that were dangerous. But how she longed for him…longed to feel his arms around her, and to make love quietly, deeply, tenderly—

      In practical terms, there were two things wrong with that plan. She hadn’t expected to find him naked or in full starfish position, so there wasn’t an inch of bed to be had.

      ‘Just leave, will you?’

      She yelped with shock at the sound of his voice. ‘I thought you were asleep.’

      ‘Clearly not.’ He shifted position, muscles rippling, but he kept his head turned away from her. ‘I mean it, Stacey. Please leave. Now.’

      She remained frozen in place by the door, trying to decide how best to rejig her plan. Slipping into bed beside him without waking him until they yawned, stretched, and reached for each other in the morning, according to the natural flow of things, clearly wasn’t possible now.

      Surprisingly, coming to a decision proved easier to navigate than she’d thought.

      He’d heard her padding down the corridor, and was already on full alert when she entered the room. Having suspected something like this might happen, he hadn’t even tried to sleep. She usually did as he asked in the end. That was his only comfort. Would she this time?

      ‘I’m serious, Stacey. Say what you’ve got to say and then leave.’

      In the shadows of the darkened room he couldn’t see her expression clearly, and she remained silent, which forced him to prompt, ‘Whatever it is you’ve got to say, just spit it out and go.’

      ‘Make me.’

      ‘I beg your pardon?’

      ‘I’m not going anywhere unless you make me,’ she said again.

      ‘That’s ridiculous.’

      In the ghostly light her shoulders lifted and fell again. ‘Ridiculous or not, I’m not going anywhere.’

      ‘Until I eject you by force?’

      ‘That’s up to you.’

      ‘This is wrong, Stacey. What happened between us in Barcelona was a mistake—’

      ‘A mistake?’ she interrupted in a voice full of raw wounds from the past. ‘Is that what you think of me?’

      ‘No,’ he bit out. ‘It’s just that you don’t belong here. I don’t have anything to offer you, other than in a business sense, so please don’t make this harder than it has to be.’

      Undaunted, she walked towards the bed. Her face was rigid and pale. But then, just as he should have expected, she firmed her jaw to confront him head-on. ‘Isn’t that for me to decide?’ she asked. ‘I know what I want, and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.’

      ‘You think you are,’ he argued. ‘But really, you’ve got no idea.’

      ‘About you? I’d like to know you better, but you don’t show yourself to anyone, do you, Luc? At least, I know some part of you,’ she conceded, ‘but that’s only the part you’ve had the courage to show.’

      ‘You’re calling me a coward now?’

      ‘I’m saying we’re not so different. I don’t find it any easier than you to show my feelings.’

      ‘So you thought if we made love again it would all sort itself out?’

      ‘I’m not that naïve. Pain that’s taken years to build won’t vanish with the first orgasm.’

      Burying his hands in his hair, he said nothing.

      ‘But if I’ve learned one thing, it’s this,’ she went on. ‘If I want something, I know it won’t fall into my lap. I have to get out there and make things happen.’

      He raised his head. ‘And that’s what you’re doing now?’

      She smiled and shrugged.

      ‘You’re an intelligent and successful woman who has proved herself ten times over, which is exactly why you don’t need me. There’s no space for you in my life.’

      ‘Nor you in mine,’ she agreed. ‘So must that consign us both to solitude for ever?’

      What she was suggesting appeared to be a relationship of convenience, into which they would dip in and out as it suited them. Normally, he might applaud that sort of thing, but when Stacey was involved, the idea appalled him. He would not agree to flirting with her feelings. She’d get hurt.

       Wouldn’t he too?

      So what? He doubted he was capable of feeling anything.

      ‘Think what you like, but my answer’s still no. I won’t do anything to