This Heart of Mine. Brenda Novak

to most folks around here, I’m not a regular woman.”

      “What does that mean?”

      “I’m a murderer, remember? Surely, you can leave me.” Instantly regretting the harshness of those words, she glanced over and attempted a smile. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I just...I’d rather not trouble you.”

      “But it’s no trouble!”

      Refusing was making a bigger issue out of this than simply giving in. Besides, she couldn’t tolerate the pain of marching beside him anymore.

      When she stopped, so did he. “Fine. I guess I will take that ride,” she said, and climbed in.

      As she put on her seat belt, he studied her with avid curiosity, and she supposed that was the price of his help. She was a freak in this town—the one person more reprehensible than all the rest.

      “I’m sure you’ve got a camera on your cell phone,” she said. “Go ahead and take a picture.”

      “I’m sorry.” He sounded a little abashed. “It’s hard not to stare. You look...different.”

      So did he. Like Riley, he’d filled out, not that she cared. Anything that had to do with Riley—except Jacob, of course—was off-limits. She couldn’t even be friends with this man. “I’m nearly seventeen years older. Of course I look different.”

      “What I mean is you look good,” he clarified. “You’ve aged better than the rest of us.”

      He must not have noticed her scars. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

      He leaned over to examine her feet. “You’re bleeding.”

      Embarrassed, she raised the foot that hurt the most so it couldn’t touch anything, but he was increasing his speed, so he obviously didn’t expect her to jump out. “You’re the one who made me get in.”

      “This is a work truck, nothing fancy, so don’t worry about that. But you might want to grab a napkin from the glove box.”

      She did. Trying not to show how badly it stung, she patted one of those napkins against the blister that had burst.

      “How long have you been home?” he asked as he drove.

      “If you’re still friends with Riley, you know the answer to that question,” she replied.

      He grinned as if she’d caught him. “Right. I admit he’s mentioned it. You got back...what? Two, three days ago?”

      She kept her eyes on her foot. Kyle was nearly as handsome as Riley, but she didn’t want to acknowledge that. “Look, I’m not sure why you’re helping me. But if it’s because you want the chance to warn me not to cause your buddy any trouble, I assure you I won’t. I’m not going to cause anyone any trouble, least of all Riley or Lori’s family. I plan to keep to myself, mind my own business and...and see if I can’t get to know my son before he’s an adult and off to college.” She almost added, That’s not too much to ask, is it? But she understood that for many people here, it was too much to ask. They didn’t think she deserved anything—even to breathe the same air.

      “You don’t have to be defensive with me,” he said. “I have no hidden agenda. I’m curious about you. Everyone is. But I don’t wish you any harm. And I’m pretty sure Riley can fend you off, if necessary.”

      She folded her arms, wrapping them tightly around herself as she watched the scenery fly past her window. “He won’t have to fend me off.”

      They’d almost reached the entrance to her mother’s property when Kyle said, “It was nice of you to send money to Jacob. I don’t think many people in your situation would’ve bothered.”

      Riley had told him about her child support, too? He and Kyle must be as close as ever, she decided, but said nothing.

      “The amounts you sent had to have been a sacrifice,” he added. “It’s tough to earn much inside.”

      “I did my best.” God, wasn’t that the truth. She’d worked long, hard hours in the laundry, made bracelets on the side, thanks to the craft class that had inspired her business, and gone without everything she possibly could to provide that pittance for Jacob. “I wanted to do my part.”

      “What did you say?”

      Apparently, she’d spoken too softly. “I was happy to do it,” she said in a louder voice.

      He pulled through the gate, which was sagging so much it couldn’t be closed, and her mother’s dogs, the three that weren’t inside Lizzie’s trailer, went wild.

      She opened the door, which drew them, barking and jumping, to her side. The dilapidated condition of both trailers, not to mention the state of the yard, made her even more self-conscious about her situation here at home. She didn’t want Kyle to take note of all the junk, but she didn’t get out immediately in spite of that. He’d been surprisingly nice and, since she was prepared to meet hostility around every corner, she felt she hadn’t responded as politely as she should have. “Thank you for the ride. I apologize if I seemed...reluctant or ungrateful at first.”

      With that, she managed to hop to the ground despite her blisters. Then she stood on one foot to watch him leave—it hurt too much to use the other—and was puzzled when, after he put the transmission in Reverse, he didn’t leave.

      “If you ever need a ride, especially before your feet have healed, call me,” he said, and wrote his number on a scrap of paper, which he handed her.

3

      The noise of the dogs brought her mother to the door. Because of Lizzie’s tremendous weight, she moved slowly and ponderously, so Kyle was gone by then. Phoenix was glad of that. But it was never easy to contend with her mother.

      “What the hell’s going on out here?” Lizzie shouted, her words and tone containing the caustic edge she was so famous for.

      Phoenix pocketed the slip with Kyle Houseman’s number, removed the sandal on the foot that hurt the most and limped close enough that she wouldn’t have to shout. She’d promised herself before she left prison that she’d be unfailingly kind to her mother. As ornery as Lizzie could be, she hated herself more than anyone else did. After what Phoenix had been through, she had greater empathy and understood that Lizzie sounded worse than she actually was. It was smarter not to react to all the cussing and yelling and the harsh things her mother said to drive people away.

      Fortunately, the dogs stopped barking and settled down, so it became possible to speak in a normal voice. “Everything’s okay, Mom. Don’t worry,” she said, but a few calm words would never reassure Lizzie. She took nothing on faith and was always ready to fight, even if she was only shadowboxing some imaginary enemy.

      A scowl creased what Phoenix could see of her face through the narrow opening. “Thought I heard a car.”

      “You did.” Phoenix picked up her sandal. “My feet were hurting, so I caught a ride home.”

      Now that she was no longer in danger of revealing herself to anyone else, Lizzie opened the door wider. “From who?”

      “Just some guy who passed me.” Phoenix shrugged. Her mother didn’t need to hear the details. She wasn’t even sure what to make of Kyle, whether or not she could trust his kindness. She had few friends in this town and that probably wouldn’t change.

      “You hitchhiked?”

      “More or less.”

      Her mother tsked. “You better watch out. Folks around here hate you, and you have no idea how they might decide to show it,” she said. Then she shut the door.

      Phoenix stared at it, wondering why her mother had to be so difficult. Before she left this morning, Phoenix had