My Sister, Myself. Tara Taylor Quinn

to in the hospital, they told me there’d been a one-car accident—no one’s fault. We’d lost control on a curve and driven over a cliff—and that my s-s-sister was dead.”

      Phyllis drew the young woman into her arms. “Oh, Tory, honey, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, over and over again, as her own tears fell on Tory’s hair.

      Oh, Christine. Dear, sweet, tortured Christine. Have you finally found your peace?

      TORY COULDN’T BELIEVE she’d slept. Coming slowly awake Saturday morning in the comfortable bed, the comfortable room, feeling almost rested, she wondered at first if she was still dreaming. A dream she didn’t ever want to wake from.

      She glanced sleepily around the room and saw the luggage she and Phyllis had carried in the night before, the new dresser—and the empty twin bed across from her own.

      For Christine.

      That split second was all it took for everything to come tumbling back. The dread. The fear. The soul-crushing despair.

      “You awake?” Phyllis’s voice followed a brief knock on the door.

      “Yeah, come in.” Tory quickly pulled her bangs down over her forehead. After years of hiding bruises, the action was purely instinctive.

      “Good morning.” Phyllis smiled, carrying a cup of coffee, which she set on Tory’s bedside table.

      Being waited on in bed warmed Tory even more than the coffee Phyllis had brought.

      They discussed trivial things for a while—the unbelievably hot Arizona weather, the pretty house Phyllis had found in August when she’d preceded Christine out to Shelter Valley. Also some of the people she’d met. People Tory would likely meet.

      Trying to listen, to absorb, Tory settled for concentrating on Phyllis’s smile, instead, the steady cadence of her voice, the calm strength she emanated as she sat in the middle of Christine’s bed. Her nerves bouncing on the edge of her skin, Tory somehow made herself stay put, made her thoughts stay put. Forced down the panic inside her.

      Phyllis was being so darn nice. Other than Christine, no one had ever been so nice to her before. And for no reason that she could fathom.

      “We’re going to have to call Dr. Parsons and let him know Christine isn’t coming,” Phyllis finally said gently.

      Here it comes, Tory thought, taking a deep breath.

      She’d rehearsed the speech. A hundred times on her trek across the barren New Mexico and northern Arizona landscape.

      Another deep breath, and still nothing happened.

      She couldn’t do it.

      “Life insurance was part of her benefits package,” Phyllis said, her eyes full of compassion. “I know Christine’s was already in effect because it was done at the same time as mine. We can give Dr. Parsons a copy of her death certificate, and at least you won’t have any financial worries.”

      Tory stared at her.

      “I’m counting on you to stay right here with me, just like we planned,” Phyllis continued. “Until you have time to decide what you want to do, anyway. It’s kind of lonely having an entire house to myself after living in an apartment for so long,” she said, obviously giving Tory whatever time she needed to enter the conversation. “I guess I need to hear life on the other side of my walls.”

      “There isn’t one,” Tory stated bluntly.

      Phyllis frowned. “Isn’t one what?”

      “Death certificate.”

      “But—”

      “At least, not for Christine.”

      “I don’t understand.” Phyllis was still frowning. “The hospital told you your sister was dead, but no one signed a death certificate?” Her face cleared. “If they haven’t seen her body, she may still be alive.” She looked at Tory. “Maybe Bruce has her, after all.”

      Watching the expressions chase themselves across Phyllis’s face, Tory shook her head.

      “The hospital authorities saw her.” She paused, swallowed. “I…saw…her.” Arms wrapped around her drawn-up knees, Tory stared down at the bed. “I had her cremated like she always said she wanted.”

      Maybe most sisters didn’t talk to each other about their burials while still so young, but she and Christine had. With the lives they’d lived, the home they’d grown up in, death had been a constant possibility.

      “You can’t do that without a death certificate.”

      “I had one,” Tory admitted, biting her lip. “Just not Christine’s.” Her head hurt and her face was numb as she silently spun in the unending loop of terror inside her mind.

      “Christine and I look so much alike….”

      Chin resting on her knees, Tory studied the bed through blurry eyes. Tears dripped off her face, rolling slowly down the sides of her knees, but her voice was almost steady as she related what she’d been told so compassionately by the clergywoman who’d visited her in the hospital.

      Tory’s bed sank on one side with Phyllis’s weight. She tried to concentrate on the comfort of the other woman’s hands rubbing slowly back and forth along her back.

      “My driver’s license was brand-new. Christine’s was six years old….”

      The hand on her back slowed, stopped moving, hung there suspended.

      “We were both pretty messed up in the crash….”

      “Tory—”

      “She’d gotten cold, my monogrammed sweater was the only thing within reach for her to put on without stopping and—”

      “Oh, my God.”

      “When word got out that the woman who died in the crash was presumed to be Tory Evans, Bruce, who was apparently beside himself, sent one of the family staff to identify me. Her.”

      “And the guy did?”

      Tory nodded, turned to meet Phyllis’s incredulous eyes. “Christine went through the windshield,” Tory said, trying not to remember the one brief glimpse she’d had of her sister in the morgue. “Her face was barely recognizable, even to me. She’d just had her hair cut short like mine, said she was embarking on a new life and wanted a new look.”

      Tory’s sigh was ragged. “Apparently when I first came to and they asked me if I knew who I was, I said Christine.” She looked at Phyllis again. “I can’t remember that at all, but knowing me, knowing how I get when I’m hurting, I would’ve been calling for Christine….”

      Her sister had been her balm her entire life, as far back as Tory could remember. Which was pretty damn far. She’d been only three the first time her stepfather had thrown her against a wall. She could still remember the stars she’d seen. The confusion that had kept her immobile long enough for him to do it again.

      “This is incredible,” Phyllis said. She took hold of Tory’s shoulders, turning Tory to face her.

      “They think you’re dead, that you’ve been cremated.”

      Tory nodded wearily, her eyes overflowing with tears. “The death certificate I have is my own.”

      CHAPTER TWO

      BEN LASTED until midway through Saturday morning. His ground-floor apartment was clean and quiet and comfortably furnished, but now he was at loose ends, and it was only ten o’clock. That was how long it had taken him to get his few pots and pans and dishes and glasses moved in and put away in the appropriate cupboards. And get his computer set up. He’d have done better if he hadn’t already put his clothes away and hooked up his stereo the night before.

      He’d called Alex last night, too, thankful