Practicing Parenthood. Cara Lockwood

just made Madison more furious. He wasn’t the one who had to carry the baby, give birth to the baby, nurse the baby. How was it half his decision?

      “I came all this way, and I bought this ring, and you’re telling me you’re really considering an abortion?”

      The word abortion felt like a slap. She didn’t like to think about it. She knew plenty of women who had no issue with it, but Collin was right about one thing; she had a tender heart. That also meant she’d never in a million years judge another woman who decided to get one. She understood now with perfect clarity just how your life could be sidelined in a heartbeat with too many drinks and one bad choice. She’d already made the decision to keep the baby, but now that Collin was here, that decision had just become more complicated. Collin wanted to be part of the relationship between her and the child. That was a possibility she’d never considered. Now, having the baby meant...having Collin in her life to some degree. She hadn’t planned on that.

      Suddenly, the room felt airless, stuffy. Madison wanted to get away from Collin. She moved to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. Her throat was dry and she was starting to feel light-headed. All she wanted to do was lie down.

      But Collin wasn’t finished as he trailed her into the kitchen. “And you weren’t even going to tell me about it? I have a right to know. That’s our baby.”

      Madison snorted. “Our. There’s no our anything,” she grumbled. After all, it was Collin who’d made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her.

      Collin followed her to the refrigerator. His shoulders seemed to take up all the space in the kitchen, and she felt trapped. “I’m doing the right thing, and you should, too,” he said.

      Oh, here it was again. Collin’s obsession with right and wrong. It made him a fantastic prosecutor but also generally insufferable. Heaven forbid anybody should actually be a human being around him. Madison set down her glass of water near the sink and scowled at him.

      “There he is... Mr. High-and-Mighty. I wondered when he was going to show up.” Madison crossed her arms. “Do you ever get tired of your high horse? Isn’t the air thin up there?”

      “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Collin crossed his arms and glared back at her.

      “You’re full of yourself, that’s what.” Madison poked Collin in the chest, her finger bouncing off his muscles. “You never returned any of my calls. Or texts. You wanted nothing to do with me, but now you hear I’m pregnant, and suddenly you show up thinking I’m going to what...be grateful?”

      The stunned look on Collin’s face told her that was exactly what he’d thought.

      “But...why wouldn’t you be...happy or grateful or whatever?” Collin asked. “I’m offering to marry you. I never even date defense attorneys. But I’m willing to put all that aside and make up for my mistake, because now there’s a baby on the way and... I’m offering you my support and my name and—”

      “Don’t talk about me and my profession like we’re somehow less than human. Defense attorneys are people, too,” Madison snapped. “And, for your information, I don’t need your support.” Madison was growing fed up with this kind of thinking. It wasn’t the 1800s. Or, hell, even the 1900s. “I don’t need your name, either. You may not know this, counselor, but I probably make more money than you. Those defense attorneys you hate so much often make more than you prosecutors.”

      “Not always.”

      “Pretty much always.” Madison glared at him again.

      Collin looked uncertain. The prosecutor who almost never lost a closing argument seemed adrift. “You have to keep the baby. You have to marry me,” Collin said, still looking dumbfounded. Apparently, he hadn’t considered the possibility that she’d say no, which irked her even more.

      “I don’t have to do anything,” Madison said. But as the words left her mouth, she knew that was partly a lie. She was compelled to look at Collin’s full lips, his perfect squared-off chin. Even in this moment of annoyance, she found herself attracted to the man, a feeling completely and utterly out of her control.

      “I don’t get it. You don’t want to marry me?” The disappointment in his eyes caught her by surprise. Her rejection hurt him, something she hadn’t thought possible. Madison’s head pounded; she was tired and strangely sad. Why did she feel like she was going to cry? She hated the look of hope on his face—and the feeling of hopelessness in her own chest.

      “I think you should go.” Madison pointed to the patio door. “I have a headache. And I need to rest.” Fatigue hit her, and suddenly all the energy left her body. And then there was the feeling of sadness that threatened to crush her.

      She ushered Collin to the door.

      “But...”

      “You need to go. I am not making any decisions until the end of the week, okay? Right now, I need to lie down before I fall down.” She opened the front door and he went, almost in a daze.

      “You don’t want to marry me,” he reiterated.

      “No, Collin, I don’t,” she said. Then, she shut the glass door in his face.

      * * *

      “THAT DID NOT go well,” Collin said aloud, but the only one who heard him was the little green gecko darting by his feet on the porch. He stared at the closed door. Madison had closed the blinds, so he couldn’t even look in. Still, Collin stood on the porch, swatting away mosquitoes.

      What the hell do I do now? A nagging mosquito bit his neck and Collin slapped it hard. Damn bloodsuckers. Sometimes he hated Florida. He’d been raised in the Bronx and there, mosquitoes never got this big. But he’d gone to law school in Florida, since they’d offered him the biggest scholarship, and after graduation he’d gotten an internship and then a job in the state attorney’s office. And he’d stayed, but he sometimes wished he was back in New York.

      “If only I could put the entire mosquito population in jail,” he mused as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and headed back to the main office on foot, the ring feeling heavy and suddenly way too expensive in his pocket. He was still reeling from her rejection. He hadn’t been one hundred percent sure she’d say yes, but he realized he’d never really entertained the notion that she’d say no.

      Where had he gone wrong? He knew Madison wasn’t like other women he’d dated. She was fiercely independent, and she hadn’t bothered chasing after him when he hadn’t returned her texts, but still... Why hadn’t she accepted his help? Then again, maybe she didn’t need his help.

      He shook his head as he wondered whether or not he ought to see if he could get a refund on the ring. He also had no idea what to do if Madison terminated her pregnancy.

      Part of him felt strongly that she wouldn’t do that, though. She was one of the biggest-hearted defense attorneys he knew. She couldn’t spin those sob stories to the jury if she didn’t believe them, and Collin’s gut told her she’d be even more protective of her own baby.

      Then it’s my job to convince her we ought to get married. He didn’t see it as a sexist thing at all. Madison might be convinced she didn’t need him, but he was convinced the baby did.

      After two wrong turns, he ended up back at the office. The door opened with a telltale ding of the bell, and Yvana glanced at him with pity.

      “She said no, huh?”

      “Why aren’t you surprised?” Collin asked, leaning against the counter, wondering if Yvana knew more than she let on. He swiped at his sweaty brow and tried to enjoy the air-conditioning in the office.

      “Oh, I’ve known Maddie a long time,” Yvana said. “Babysat her when she was little. She’s as stubborn a girl as I ever met. You couldn’t get her to do anything unless she thought it was her idea.”

      Collin chuckled ruefully. “I learned