Watering my Crown. Sunshinegoldenchild .

NEVER EXCHANGED NUMBERS AND I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT HIM BESIDES THAT HE WAS HERE IN TEXAS FOR BUSINESS AND AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS OF NOT HEARING FROM HIM (SINCE WE DIDN’T HAVE EACH OTHERS CONTACTS) I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM. BUT HE MEANT WHAT HE SAID… THAT „WE WILL (SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN)“.

      MY TIME IN TEXAS ENDED WITH BEING ARRESTED FOR BEING IN A CAR WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD A GUN AND DRUGS ON THEM (YES, I REALLY WAS HANGING WITH THE WRONG

      CROWD) AND EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE NO CHARGES BROUGHT UP AGAINST ME, MY AUNT SAID SHE COULD NOT BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME ANYMORE. MY COUSIN HAD TOLD ON ME THAT I KEPT SNEAKING OUT AT NIGHT AND SHE DOESN’T WANT ME TO END UP PREGNANT LIKE MY OTHER COUSIN FROM TRINIDAD WHO THEY TOOK FOR A SCHOOL SEMESTER.

      SO THEY SENT ME TO ANOTHER AUNT IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, WHICH SOUNDS MORE EXCITING THAN WHAT IT WAS BECAUSE THAT WHOLE FAMILY THERE WAS SUPER STRICT AND AWARE OF EVERY MOVE I TRIED MAKING.

      I WASN’T ALLOWED TO GO ANYWHERE BY MYSELF AND ALL THE ACTIVITIES WERE REALLY PJ13.

      I WAS SO BORED THERE AND JUST FELT LIKE I’M WASTING MY TIME, I WASN’T EVEN ALLOWED TO WATCH TV THAT MUCH BECAUSE THEY DID "NOT BELIEVE IN THAT“. THEY WERE TRINIS BUT VERY TYPICAL LA PEOPLE, VEGAN, PHYSICALLY ACTIVE, CAREER-DRIVEN AND ACTUALLY GOOD PEOPLE BUT TOO STRICT FOR ME AFTER LIVING A LIFE OF „NO RULES“ IN

      TEXAS. ONE PLACE THEY HAD NO PROBLEM WITH ME GOING

      WAS THE BEACH, SO THAT BECAME MY DAILY HANG OUT SPOT.

      AT REDONDO BEACH, I MET THIS GIRL WHO BECAME MY GOOD FRIEND AND HER FACE WAS CUTE AND INNOCENT ENOUGH FOR MY AUNT TO LIKE HER TOO, SHE EVEN ALLOWED ME TO GO TO AN ALL WHITE POOL PARTY WITH HER. IT WAS SUPER TURNT‚JUST LIKE IN ONE OF THOSE MOVIES I USED TO WATCH BACK IN MY GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE WHEN I DREAMED OF A MORE EXCITING LIFE.

       I was finally here, I could’t believe it.

      I WAS DANCING AND DRINKING AND BEING INVITED INTO THE VIP SECTION WHERE THE PARTY GOT EVEN BETTER. BOTTLE POPPING, MONEY BLOWING, CHAMPAGNE FLOWING,

      BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND BIG WHITE TEETH COVERED WITH GOLDEN DIAMOND GRILLS EVERYWHERE… WHAT A LIFE ( - YUP, THAT’S WHAT MY VAIN DREAMS WHERE MADE OF.)

      IN THAT SAME VIP SECTION, I MET „HARLEM“ (LET’S CALL HIM THAT BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE HE WAS FROM). I FELL FOR HIS RADIANT SMILE AND HIS EXPENSIVE COLOGNE SMELL. WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS HIS LAST DAY IN LA BUT HE INVITED ME TO COME TO NEW YORK AND I TOLD HIM „BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU’RE OFFERING BECAUSE I MIGHT TAKE YOU UP ON THAT“. HEJUST SMILED AND SAID: „I GOT YOU BABY“.

      A FEW WEEKS AND A LOT OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE ARGUMENTS WITH MY AUNT LATER I BEGAN REALLY MISSING HOME, MY GRANDMA AND CRAVED THE SIMPLE LIFE OF MY VILLAGE THAT I USE TO HATE SO MUCH BUT I HAD NO MONEY TO BUY A TICKET TO FLY BACK SINCE I HAD LONG RUN OUT OF MY SAVINGS. I DECIDED TO HIT BACK HARLEM AND ASK HIM TO HELP ME OUT AND HE ACTUALLY SENT ME THE MONEY FOR A TICKET TO GERMANY. I WAS SO GRATEFUL AND PROMISED THAT I WOULD REPAY HIM.

      THE WARM FUZZY FEELING OF BEING BACK „HOME“ QUICKLY FADED IN THESE COLD GERMAN WINTER NIGHTS AND GREY DARK DAYS. THE SNOW FELL INTENSELY AND MY MOOD THICKENED. I BEGAN WORKING AT H&M AND AFTER RECEIVING MY FIRST PAYCHECK WHICH WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER MADE THAT MUCH MONEY, I TOOK A FEW DEEP BREATHS AND BOOKED A FLIGHT… TO NEW YORK.

       My time in New York should become my best and the worst time yet.

      TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY FLIGHT I TOLD HARLEM I WAS COMING AND HE WAS SO HAPPY WITH THE NEWS. I TOLD HIM THAT I WON’T HAVE ALL HIS MONEY BUT THAT I COULD GIVE HIM A PORTION OF IT, HE SAID: „DON’T WORRY BABY, I GOT YOU.“ HE OFFERED TO PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT AND TOLD ME I COULD EVEN STAY WITH HIM. BUT I DID’T WANT TO SOLELY RELY ON HIM, BECAUSE ONE THING I HAD LEARNED IS THAT „MEN LIE – AND ONCE THEY GOT WHAT THEY WERE AFTER THEIR PROMISES DON’T MEAN SHIT ANYMORE“, I WENT AHEAD AND BOOKED A HOSTEL IN CASE SOMETHING WOULD GO WRONG.

      WHEN HE PICKED ME UP I WAS "SURPRISED” BY HIS CAR, TO SAY THE LEAST, BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD ROLL UP WITH SOMETHING MORE SPECTACULAR THE WAY HE WAS BALLING OUT IN LA. BUT WE HAD GREAT CHEMISTRY AND HE REASSURED ME THAT I WILL HAVE THE BEST TIME EVER IN NY, SO I BRUSHED OFF MY DOUBTS AND ENJOYED THE RIDE.

      BUT AS WE DROVE THROUGH MANHATTAN, LEAVING THE FANCY BUILDINGS BEHIND US, I ASKED HIM „WHERE ARE WE GOING?“. THERE WAS A LITTLE BREAK IN OUR FLOW OF CONVERSATION AND I GOT A BIT SCARED BUT THEN HE ANSWERED CALMLY „HARLEM – WE’RE GONNA STAY WITH MY SISTER FOR THE NIGHT AND FROM TOMORROW I ORGANIZED A HOTEL ON BROADWAY“. THAT SOUNDED GOOD ENOUGH TO ME.

      WHEN WE GOT TO THE PLACE I WAS SHOOK AGAIN, IT LOOKED LIKE A PLACE FROM A „GHETTO MOVIE“ AND I WAS CONFUSED HOW HIS SISTER COULD BE LIVING LIKE THIS IF HE REALLY HAD ALL THIS MONEY HE PRETENDED TO HAVE BECAUSE HIS FASHION AGAIN WAS SUPER ON POINT AND TO JUDGE FROM HIS SOCIAL MEDIA HE SEEMS TO TRAVEL A LOT. I NEVER MET HIS SISTER AND HER TWO CHILDREN BUT IT WAS EVIDENT THAT A LOT WAS GOING ON IN THIS SMALL APARTMENT ON THE 6TH FLOOR OF A RUN-DOWN HARLEM BUILDING. THERE WERE A LOT OF DRUGGED OUT GHOSTS ON

      THE STREET CORNER BY THE BODEGA WHERE WE GOT SOME DRINKS FOR THE NIGHT. I FELT THE TENSION IN THE AIR AND WAS ON EDGE THE WHOLE TIME IN CASE SOMETHING WAS TO HAPPEN. I SAW AJAMAICAN BAKERY, GOLDEN KRUST, AND WE GOT SOME BEEF PATTIES IN COCO BREAD AND SOME TING SODA AND SO I WAS HAPPY AGAIN. (I AM WAY TOO EASY TO PLEASE…).

      OUR FIRST NIGHT WAS GREAT. WE WATCHED A MOVIE, NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN US BUT I COULD TELL THAT HE WAS WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO GO ON BETWEEN US.

      THE SECOND DAY HE WANTED TO TAKE ME TO A BIG CARIBBEAN PARTY AT WEBSTER HALL, SO EARLIER THAT DAY WE WENT SHOPPING FOR THE EVENT AND HE PAID FOR A BEAUTIFUL DRESS AND SHOES FROM B.E.B.E. FOR ME AND TOOK ME OUT TO „RED LOBSTER“ ON TIMES SQUARE WHICH I REALLY ENJOYED.

       I ŧeared up walking back out of the restaurant, seeing all the lights and big billboards of 42nd Street. „Sonia, little girl who grew up in A*****, can you believe how far you’ ve made it?“, I whispered to myself. „The world is mine!“

      THE PARTY WAS THE BEST ONE I HAD EVER BEEN TO SO FAR, TOPPING ALL MY WILD HOUSTON MEMORIES BECAUSE THE THEME WAS „TRINIDAD VS.JAMAICA“ AND THE SEVEN DJS BATTLED BETWEEN SOCA AND DANCEHALL, THE DANCERS DID NOT COME TO PLAY, IT WAS JUST SO SURREAL TO SEE THIS AUTHENTIC CARIBBEAN CULTURE SO FAR OUTSIDE THE ISLANDS BUT I QUICKLY LEARNED HOW CARIBBEAN NEW YORK REALLY IS.

      HARLEM’S BACKGROUND WAS HAITIAN BUT HE FELT FULLY COMFORTABLE IN THIS CROWD AND WAS A GREAT DANCER. HIS FRIENDS WAVED US TO THE VIP SECTION WHERE WE GOT DRUNK ON EXPENSIVE BOOZE.

      I WAS WASTED, TO SAY THE LEAST, HE WAS TOO AND GOT MORE AND MORE TOUCHY-FEELY WHICH I WASN’T FEELING -

      AT ALL! WE BEGAN TO ARGUE, THEN HEJUST IGNORED ME. ABOUT AN HOUR LATER I WAS READY TO GO TO THE HOTEL BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO GO, SO HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND SOME CAB MONEY PLUS THE ADDRESS TO THE PLACE AND TOLD ME TO DRESS UP IN SOMETHING SEXY WHILE WAITING FOR HIM.

      I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS TIRED AND THAT HE IS DRUNK, THEN I TOOK HIS KEYS AND LEFT.

      WHEN I GOT TO THE ROOM AND LAYED ON THE BED I IMMEDIATELY FELL ASLEEP, STILL WEARING MY B.E.B.E. DRESS.

      I WOKE UP WHEN HE STUMBLED BACK INTO THE DARK ROOM, HE DIDN’T TURN ON THE LIGHTS. I FELT HIS HANDS TOUCHING MY ASS AND AS I LIFTED MY HEAD, HE PUSHED THEM BETWEEN MY THIGHS. I WAS LAYING ON MY STOMACH AS HE TURNED ME AROUND AND CRACKED OPEN MY LEGS. I TOLD HIM TO STOP AND WHEN I REALIZED HE WASN’T I BEGAN TO PANIC, SCREAMING TO „PLEASE STOP“.

       When I felt the burn of the slap he gave me I just closed my eyes and shut up, I did not fight him.

      WHEN I HEARD HIS BREATH CHANGING AND I WAS SURE HE WAS ASLEEP, I TOOK MY SUITCASE AND SLOWLY ROLLED OUT OF THE ROOM AND RAN OUT OF THE HOTEL AND DOWN THE BLOCK. I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS OR HOW TO GET TO MY BACKUP HOSTEL. I TOOK ANOTHER CAB AND THEN WAS HORRIFIED TO FIND OUT THAT MY HOSTEL WAS ALSO IN HARLEM.

      BUT I ACTUALLY MET REALLY COOL PEOPLE IN THE HOSTEL WHO ALL MADE ME FEEL SAFE. I STILL KNEW I HAD TO LEAVE FROM THERE SOON, I HAD ONLY BOOKED THE HOSTEL FORA WEEK