Issues Of The Heart. Job Mothiba

not leave you guessing or confused, but you have got to be willing to open up if you want the other person to do the same. So, do not be afraid to show your love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:8)

      If you believe that love is elusive, that you do not deserve love, ask yourself if you really want to live with such negative idea, and for how long? You have what it takes to love and love genuinely. Living a lie will reduce you to one. If the people in your life do not make you feel loved and appreciated, you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people. To love someone is to care for, trust and understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your heart.

      Thus, a forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognise it when it happens. You cannot force yourself or someone to open the door to their heart. They have to willingly give you the key. Hence, love starts when you see good things in someone and survives when you accept the bad things in that person. However, not every relationship is the same. Almost everyone who has lost love seems to find it later when they are not even looking for it. So, let the true love finds you.

      When love is true, it would not be broken by problems, weakened by time, or gone by distance. “Better a bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.” (Proverbs 15:17)

      Everyone needs someone to make them feel like tomorrow is more than just another day. But, if something is not feeling quite right, just give it time to reveal itself. Though so many of us think that if we act like a thing does not exist, it will just go away. Decide now that you are going to set your mind on it for total victory. God will expose every detail so that your life will not be a mystery but one lived out daily in victory. When God reveals that you are making the wrong choice, listen.

      If you resist the truth, you can only create pain. Even when you believe with all your mind that life is meaningless, you simply cannot live that way. You know better. You know God is there. “Do not let the excitement of your… cause you to forget your Creator…” (Ecclesiastes 12:1)

      Sometimes we resist love but, all it takes is one act of kindness to turn that resistance into reassurance that love is the way. Yes, life with love will have some thorns but, a life without love will have no roses. Hence, you do not just fall into love. You commit to it. When you say “I love you”, you are making a promise with someone else’s heart saying, “I will be there no matter what.”

      But, some people will tell each other anything and everything… except the fact they love each other. And, the most stupid thing in the world is acting like a friend to the person you know you love the most. Love knows. And you cannot hide from it. It will always find you. For it does not make sense when you have someone in your heart but, you cannot have them in your arms because you are afraid to tell.

      If you are mad at someone, let them know. It works, you should try it. And stop avoiding it. Hence, avoiding something does not mean you do not want it. Sometimes, it means that you do want it but, you know it is not right for you. Sometimes it is good, easier or better to love from a safe distance. Because you do not lead someone on, if you have no intentions on leading them somewhere good. Besides, what is the point of starting something if you cannot finish it?

      If you are looking for a life partner, your significant other or a true friend. Do not focus on the flaws; instead look for the good in a person. Do not listen to everything you are told about the person; not everything is truth. Be careful placing judgment upon him or her, for you are unaware of the battles they are fighting. Instead, pay closer attention, figure out why they live the way they do. This does not mean you have to love him or her too soon or trust too fast but, do not judge too soon and do not expect too high. For every person has something to teach you, and as soon as you accept this, you open yourself to true acceptance of the other person.

      Otherwise you will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and, or the right friend if you expect them to be perfect. Even worse, the process of doing so will drive you mad, as you will feel more and more insecure with every failed relationship that does not live up to your fantasy of perfection. We are all seeking those special relationships that feel perfect for us, but if you have been through enough relationships, you begin to realize that there are no “perfect person” for you, just different flavours of imperfect ones. That is because we are all imperfect in some way.

      You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways. Hence, it takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it is not until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws “the ones that truly define who you are” that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships. Only then do you finally know what you are looking for. You are looking for the imperfect person who will balance you out, the perfectly imperfect person. “So do not make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives… (1 Corinthians 4:5)

      Besides, every person in this world is better than someone else and not as good someone else. Your insecurities are not always a bad thing, your flaws are not a deal breaker when falling in love. Never allow any of these life’s situations to rob you of an opportunity to say, “I love you”. Be yourself, even when you feel imperfect, ugly, too skinny or overweight, know that your love is worth it. For love is not “if” or “because” but, love is “anyway” and “even though” and “in spite of”. So, do not be discouraged to trust again, love again but never settle just because you are lonely.

      Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves and believe there is an invisible score keeper who is tracking our mistakes and accomplishments. Forgetting that life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You will never achieve some things until you fully accept the reality that you are not perfect. However, just because you get older in age does not mean you have to settle in relationships just to get married. Happiness in love has no age limit. Slow down, allow yourself to realize that life is about progress, not perfection. And the keys to finding love are patience and a healthy mind-set. Being jaded would not attract anyone worth having and, “settling” guarantees failure.

      But, if you are searching for that one person who will change your life. Take a look in the mirror. There is a beauty beyond the mirror. And, it is only the Godly man or woman who can see it that worth your time. Do not let it be about “boobs and booty “or “muscles and six packs” but, your Godly character and sweet personality and your faithfulness in God. Never doubt for a second how beautiful you are. You are one of a kind. Look in the mirror and be proud of that special and unique person you have become. Being the best is great, you are number one.

      But, being ‘unique’ is greater, you are the only one. You do not really need someone to change or complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely. Do not truly change for someone; change for God. You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life.

      To be beautiful means to be yourself. You were made to fulfil a purpose that only you could do. So, there will never be a more beautiful you. Seek no one’s approval, your life does not depend on other’s acceptance. You do not need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. Do not change who you are just because you are afraid of losing someone. If one really loves you, your imperfections would not matter. Give one a space to show up for you. If you are constantly chasing them, you will never get to see if you are the only one holding on.

      The hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had. If one need space, give it to them. If you do not, you will get closer to them and they will grow away from you. Rejection does not decrease your value when you know your worth. Young love cares about what is now and never mind what is next but mature love cares about what is now and after. “Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but let