Romantic Escapes. Julie Caplin

It all came rushing back. Everyone looking at her. Sniggering behind her back. The lewd remarks. Suggestive stares. Talking about her. It would all start up again. For a minute she thought her legs might collapse beneath her. Her lungs felt tight in her chest and … and she couldn’t…

      ‘E-excuse me,’ she stammered, waving her hand at Brynja. ‘I n-need to check the … the … C-can you…’

      To her relief Brynja stepped forward and smoothly took over, sliding the registration forms towards the man.

      She backed away. She needed to get to the office. Needed to breathe. Look normal. She caught sight of one face. One of the crew. Was she imagining it or was he staring at her with one of those don’t-I-know-you expressions on his face? She ducked her head, backed up another step and mercifully felt the door behind her.

      Safe in the office, she closed the door with a firm thunk behind her and put her hand on the door leaning over. The room went black and her chest constricted as she desperately tried to suck in air. It wouldn’t come. She tried again. And again. Her head was about to explode.

      ‘Lucy?’ A voice sounded as if it were coming from a very long way away. ‘Lucy. Are you OK?’

      She forced herself to focus on Alex’s voice. Forcing herself inch by inch up the black tunnel. Tight bands held her chest. She gasped, trying to take in another breath that did nothing and another and another.

      Hands grabbed hers and led her to a chair, pushing gently, until she sat down.

      ‘It’s OK, Lucy. You’re safe. You’re fine. Listen to me. You’re OK.’

      She felt his hand come to rest on her stomach.

      ‘Next time you try to breath push out your stomach against my hand as you inhale and try to breathe in through your nose.’

      He repeated the words and she tried to make sense of them. Breathe out. No inhale. Nose. She closed her eyes and listened to his voice.

      ‘Inhale through your nose. Push against my hand. And again. Inhale, push. That’s it. Inhale, push.’

      His voice took on a gentle rhythmic monotony which was both soothing and reassuring.

      ‘That’s it. You’re doing fine, Lucy. You’re doing fine. You’re going to be OK.’

      Gradually she felt the panic subside and although her pulse thudded furiously, she felt herself start to settle. Alex’s hand was still lying on her stomach, just above her diaphragm, and his other hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. She blinked up at him, trying to assimilate everything, grateful for his quiet presence. Through the door she could hear the busy reception, Brynja talking, people laughing and the sound of luggage being wheeled over the polished lava floor tiles.

      ‘You OK?’

      Feeling dazed, she nodded, tears pricking at her eyes as shock and embarrassment set in. Her mouth crumpled as she muttered, ‘I’m sorry,’ with a little hitch to her voice. She couldn’t believe she’d made such a fool of herself. And in front of Alex of all people. The man who saw so much, there were times when she thought he should be running this place. He always seemed so together with that natural easy authority of his.

      She sniffed and tried to turn away.

      ‘Hey,’ his voice resonated with something that made her heart ping in her chest. ‘Don’t cry.’ With gentle hands he pulled her into hug and, although she was not normally one for the damsel in distress routine, for once it was rather nice to bury her head against his chest. And when his arms closed around her, she sank into his warm hold and let the rest of the world and all its problems recede away. There was something rather wonderful about being held. No words, just another body, cocooning her and keeping her safe. Beneath her cheek, she could feel Alex’s chest lift and fall in a steady, reassuring rhythm through the thin cotton of his shirt.

      He smelled good, male and clean, with a hint of cedar and sandalwood. She closed her eyes realising this was the first time she’d been held for a very long time. After what had happened, she’d shied away from other people, even Daisy. She hadn’t wanted comfort, she was too angry and humiliated for that. Too determined to put a brave face on things and show the world that she was OK, when inside she was dying of shame.

      Breathing in Alex’s scent, she was grateful for his quiet steadiness, the way that he didn’t try and say anything. It demonstrated that gentle confidence he had and the unassuming authority he wore so well. Today he felt like an ancient harbour hewn of stone that had offered shelter in stormy seas countless times and would always be there to do it again. And when had she become so fanciful?

      She pulled away and looked up at him. Those amber flecked eyes studied her, solemn and unblinking, radiating kindness and concern.

      ‘Thank you.’ She tried to summon up a tremulous smile but failed miserably. ‘Weren’t you helping with their luggage?’

      ‘I saw you needed help.’

      ‘I appreciate it.’

      ‘Anytime.’ His grave tone and simple response reassured her. No platitudes. No fuss. No false sympathy, just steadfast silent support as if he knew that was exactly what she needed.

      ‘Sorry about that I …’ she winced. The whole sordid escapade was still too raw and hideous. ‘I-I…’

      ‘Lucy,’ he laid a finger to her lips. ‘You don’t have to explain anything.’ He gave her arms a quick squeeze. ‘Can I get you anything? A coffee? Something to eat?’

      She took in a deep breath and exhaled, shaking her head.

      ‘Have you eaten this morning?’

      ‘No, Mum. I grabbed a coffee.’ Thank goodness for the new coffee machine which had proved a big hit.

      ‘Coffee?’ Alex said and then tsked.

      ‘I haven’t had time,’ she protested, horribly aware of her untidy desk directly in her eyeline. Every day there seemed to be more to do.

      ‘Well there you go, you daft woman,’ his Scottish accent deepened. ‘You should’ve had your porridge.’

      Now she did smile at him. ‘Porridge, of course. So that’s where I went wrong.’

      ‘And you probably need a break from this place. Have you had a proper day off since you’ve been here?’

      She shrugged.

      ‘And when’s your next day off.’

      ‘Supposedly … today,’ she muttered, dropping her gaze.

      With two fingers he lifted her chin as he lifted one arched eyebrow. ‘It just so happens it’s my day off too, today, and I’m off to see a waterfall which I’ve been assured by Hekla is one of “the” things to see. Gullfoss.’

      Lucy smiled, he sounded rather proud that he could pronounce it ‘Excellent Icelandic accent,’ she teased.

      ‘To be honest, it is the only place that I can pronounce. Might as well start somewhere.’ His face sobered and then he asked. ‘So, why don’t you come with me?’

      A car pulled up in front of her, a tiny white Toyota Aygo and Alex waved from the driver’s seat as the passenger window slid down.

      ‘Hop in.’

      ‘Sadly no porridge, but …’ she held up two foil packages, ‘I did blag some bacon butties for the journey,’ she said, climbing in and fastening her seatbelt.

      ‘Excellent and don’t tell anyone but I don’t miss porridge that much,’ said Alex, with a crooked grin, ‘not when bacon butties are on offer.’

      ‘I’m not convinced the 3G en route is going to be that great. How’s your navigation?’ he asked with a cheery smile handing her a map.

      ‘So, so.’ She unfurled the map to peer at it. ‘But it’s not as if there are a lot