Until You Loved Me. Brenda Novak

Truth be told, he was hoping she’d come back. “No.”

      “Why not, man?”

      “I need to rest up for the game tomorrow.”

      “Gotcha. That’s probably wise. Let’s hope it’s not true what they say...”

      The salacious smile Teague shot him finally caught Hudson’s undivided attention. “About what?”

      He started laughing. “Women weakening legs.”

      “Even if we lose, last night was worth it,” he muttered.

      “Wow. Never dreamed I’d hear something like that come out of your mouth. You care more about winning than any athlete I know.”

      “Everyone cares about winning.”

      “Maybe you should’ve gotten her number.”

      “Maybe so.” Too bad she hadn’t given him the chance. He wasn’t hiding that because of his ego. He just didn’t feel like going into it. He was tired of making the effort to be social and couldn’t wait to retreat into the hotel.

      “You’re up for contract next year, so...make sure you kick some Dolphin ass tomorrow. Okay, bud?”

      Hudson didn’t want to be reminded of his upcoming contract negotiations, didn’t want to let what could happen get inside his head. It was one thing to play football with focus and purpose, another to play scared. Perhaps he was being superstitious, but he believed playing scared would get him hurt, and once he got hurt, he wouldn’t be worth a damn—to anyone. It was football that had given him a life; he knew where he’d be without it. “Right. I’ll be sure to do that.”

      As Teague pulled in to the hotel, Hudson gestured toward the valet section under the portico. “You can drop me there.”

      Teague checked the time on his expensive watch. “It’s only seven. Don’t you want me to come in with you? The restaurant here’s good. We could grab a bite to eat before you turn in for the night.”

      “No, thanks. I’ll order room service.” A long soak in the jetted tub would help calm his mind and his body. The longer he remained in the league, the more banged up he became. The trick was not to let the aches and pains stop him from giving his best performance in every single game.

      “Okay. I’ll send up a bottle of wine.”

      “Don’t bother. I won’t be drinking tonight, either. But I appreciate the thought.”

      Teague leaned forward to look up at Hudson as he got out. “Everything okay?”

      Hudson rested one hand on the top of the car. “Yeah. Everything’s fine. Thanks for taking me out today. I’ll see you after the game tomorrow.”

      “Hey, wait a sec. You seem...I don’t know, kind of remote.”

      “Stop worrying,” he said and shut the door. He’d told Teague he was fine, and he was. Sure, he was a little lonely, but he could be lonely in a crowd. He’d never been like everyone else, never had the close connections parents and siblings provided.

      His team was his family, he told himself. Except eventually, they all went home to their real families.

      Maybe it had been a mistake to bring Ellie to his hotel. Being with her had assuaged that deep ache, and since she’d left, he felt the isolation more acutely than ever.

      * * *

      Leo was with Don, all right. Ellie could see him from her front window. He was sitting in the passenger seat of her ex-fiancé’s Chevy Volt when Don pulled into her drive at exactly seven o’clock.

      “Punctual as ever.” She liked that he was never late, but that was about all she liked these days. She’d hoped he’d have the courtesy to show up alone. Having Leo there, watching this exchange, made her feel they were both laughing at her. You believed he loved you? Really?

      Don didn’t approach the house right away. He sat in the car talking to Leo as though he wasn’t looking forward to confronting her.

      Once he got out, she whispered, “You can do this,” to encourage herself and stooped to pick up Lulu, who’d just finished her dinner. The breakup had been difficult enough. Losing Lulu made it worse. Ellie had adopted Don’s pet as her pet, too. But he’d never part with Lulu. Not only was the cat a British Shorthair, one of the most expensive breeds in the world, she’d been a Christmas gift to Don from his mother two years ago. Ellie had no right to keep her, wasn’t even going to ask. She was just glad he hadn’t come into the relationship with kids. If she felt this destroyed over an animal, she could only imagine how she’d feel if she had to say goodbye to a child.

      Warning herself not to allow this encounter to turn into an argument—what was the point of angry recriminations at this juncture?—she mustered as much dignity as she could and opened the door.

      “Hey.” He wore a collared shirt, plaid shorts and sandals. He’d always been neat and clean and stylish. But he’d had someone other than Amy, who normally cut his hair, dye it black two days ago. Ellie thought he looked a little ridiculous, given the pale, almost-translucent shade of his skin and all those freckles.

      Maybe Leo liked the new look.

      She wished she could give Don a nonchalant hello, wished she could act as though he hadn’t hurt her so badly, but she couldn’t speak around the lump suddenly clogging her throat. So much for the mental exercises and clichés she’d employed to prepare for this moment. Time heals all wounds. This, too, shall pass. Everything happens for a reason. If we were meant to be together, we’d still be together. She couldn’t gain any perspective on their breakup; it was too soon.

      Doing her best to imitate a polite smile, since she couldn’t conjure up a genuine one, she handed him his cat.

      “Thanks for taking care of Lulu. You’ve been really kind to her.”

      Ellie had been kind to him, too. Loved him. Trusted him. Planned to spend the rest of her life with him. The scent of his cologne brought back memories of curling up next to him on the couch while they watched a movie, hugging him before he had to leave, sidling closer at work just to catch a whiff.

      Afraid he’d realize she was battling tears, she bent to pick up the box of his things she’d put by the door, which included Lulu’s feeding dish and cat toys. There was also a big sack of kitty litter she’d purchased so Lulu would have what she needed at both houses.

      “Here, let me get that,” Don said about the box. “Just a sec. I’ll take Lulu out first.”

      Ordinarily, she would’ve followed him when he went to the car so he wouldn’t have to return to the house. But she refused to approach Leo, who, on Thursday, had confided to Mary Jane Deets, a fellow scientist at the BDC, how distasteful Don had found it to sleep with her. How difficult it had been for both men to keep up the charade of friendship when she was the one who got to sleep with Don most nights.

      Ellie wished Mary Jane had never mentioned that conversation. The last thing she wanted to hear was that making love to her had been an unpleasant chore. Sex required so much trust... She didn’t easily expose her body or her most sensitive and private self, which was why what she’d done last night had been so earth-shattering. Only because she didn’t know Hudson and would never see him again had she been able to let herself go.

      The memory of his hands on her body helped her hold herself together. She had her own naughty secret. She wouldn’t be gauche enough to confide what she’d done to anyone at work, so Don would never hear about it. But she’d enjoyed making love with Hudson far more than she’d ever enjoyed making love with her ex. So what if Don had left her bed and returned to Leo’s? So what if they’d mocked her and laughed or said nasty things about how revolting it had been for him to touch her?

      Fortunately, she managed to clear the lump from her throat by the time he came back.

      “Thanks for gathering up all this stuff for me,” he said.