How Not To Be Starstruck. Portia MacIntosh

kissing our arses because the album is doing so well.’

      ‘Yeah, that’s great. I’m missing sleeping in a proper bed already.’

      ‘We’ve got three double rooms. Mick is going in with Ben, and Mark and Eddie usually share,’ he tells me, waiting for a few seconds before he finishes his sentence. ‘We could share if you wanted to?’

      I hesitate and before I get chance to reply, Luke starts talking again.

      ‘Unless you don’t want to. I mean, I can go in with Mark and Ed, no problem.’

      ‘No, it’s fine. We can’t have the celebrities squashed in the same bed,’ I tease, secretly delighted.

      ‘Good,’ he replies, leaning closer to me and resting his hand gently on my leg. ‘Maybe we’ll finally get some time alone together,’ he lowers his voice to a whisper. ‘I can’t wait to get you on your own.’

      I smile and sip my coffee. So I haven’t scared him off after all. There’s nothing like a bit of jealousy to keep them keen.

       Chapter Ten

      The Road

      Back at the bus, I wait patiently as Luke searches around in the luggage compartment for something warm for me to wear. The dress I am currently wearing was perfect for keeping cool at the venue last night, but in the harsh light of day the alcohol stain stands out a mile and my pretty little dress does not go with the big, clumsy Uggs I am stuck wearing – but hey, at least my feet are warm.

      ‘No clean clothes,’ Luke calls out, still waist deep in the luggage compartment. ‘Unless you want something butch-looking that stinks of sweat.’

      I laugh, although to be honest I’m a bit distracted staring at his bum.

      ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,’ I eventually call back.

      ‘There is this though,’ he says, holding up the biggest Two For The Road T-shirt I have ever seen.

      ‘We’ve sold a lot of merchandise this tour, which is lucky for us. Sucks for you though, only extra-large T-shirts left – but it’s got to be warmer than what you’re wearing now, right? It will certainly cover more skin...unfortunately,’ he adds with a wink.

      Taking the huge T-shirt from him, I hold it up against my body, you could fit at least two of me in this, but I think I can make it work. Sadly I don’t think I can do anything about the fact that it is bright orange, though.

      ‘This will be perfect, don’t worry.’

      I head into the living area. No one is around so I can get changed here if I’m fast. Mark and Eddie have gone to get something to eat and, as far as I know, Ben is still sleeping. I check that I am totally alone one last time before slipping off my beautiful dress and slipping on my huge, bright-orange replacement. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to wear one of these T-shirts, even if they are a fan of the band, and surely if a person needed a shirt this big, they wouldn’t want it to be bright orange?

      As I predicted, I look like I am wearing a tent, but I’m not finished yet. If there’s one thing I learned during my short stint at Brownies (I was way too edgy to cook, sew and collect crap that I found on the floor in the park), it’s that you should always carry safety pins in your bag. Pulling all the extra fabric from both sides, I pin them together in line with the small of my back before rolling up the sleeves a little. My huge orange T-shirt now looks a bit more like a dress. A bright-orange, TFTR-branded dress that doesn’t really clash too much with my boots. To be honest, my gold accessories set it off quite nicely. I don’t look too shocking and I’m definitely warmer.

      Stepping off the bus, I see Mark, Luke and Eddie smoking, and they look very amused by my outfit – probably because it’s free advertising for them.

      ‘Wilde, what did you do to it?’ Luke asks, astonished. ‘It actually suits you!’

      ‘That’s the thing with our Nicole, she can make anything look amazing, can’t you, babe?’ Eddie says, taking a final drag on his cigarette and flicking it across the car park.

      ‘You’re too kind, boys,’ I say, embarrassed but flattered to hear Eddie refer to me as theirs.

      I look over at Mark, who is leaning on the bus. He hasn’t spoken to me today and I don’t think he’s going to either.

      ‘We’d better get a move on,’ Eddie says, jumping aboard the bus way too energetically for someone who drank so much last night. ‘Luke, get that lazy bastard Ben up, will you?’

      ‘I’m on it!’ he replies, giving Eddie a playful smack on the bum as he follows him up the stairs.

      It’s just me and Mark now. Awkward. If he’s not going to say anything, then I guess I’d better try.

      ‘How are you today?’ I ask with a smile.

      ‘Fine, cheers,’ he replies without even looking up.

      ‘Good,’ I say undefeated. ‘Not many dates left now, I bet you’ll miss it when it’s over.’

      ‘Yeah, probably.’

      This is impossible. I was hoping that last night he was either too drunk to remember, or at least too drunk to care, but I’m guessing he isn’t my biggest fan right now.

      ‘I’ll see you on the bus, yeah?’ I ask, but I don’t expect him to reply, and he doesn’t. Then, the second my foot touches the first step, he calls after me.

      ‘I hear you’re sharing a room with Luke tonight. There’s a shocker,’ he says with an extra helping of sarcasm, just in case I wasn’t picking up the vibes.

      It’s my turn to do the ignoring. I could kick off, but where would that get me? He’s ‘the talent’ and I’d be off this bus in a flash if I got in his face. Anyway, I’m not going to let him ruin tonight for me. So what if I’m sharing a room with Luke? It’s nothing to do with him.

      Back on the bus, I make my way to the living area. The guys already have a film on so I take a seat next to Eddie. Mark isn’t far behind, and he sits down opposite me. I’m so not looking forward to the drive to Birmingham, all squashed up together in this small space.

      ‘So, Nicole, this feature you’re writing on our tour, anything interesting to report yet?’ Eddie asks me and I wonder if Mark told him anything when they were alone together this morning.

      ‘Plenty,’ I tease. ‘You’re going to wish you hadn’t invited me.’

      ‘Don’t pull any punches,’ he replies. ‘What you looking so worried about, Boy Wonder?’ he adds, looking over at Ben. Ben is so quiet and, surprise, surprise, he’s already texting away on his phone.

      ‘Oi, I’m talking to you. Had fun last night, didn’t you?’ Eddie shouts at Ben – who looks embarrassed as hell right now – in a borderline aggressive manner.

      That reminds me, I’m here to write a feature and not to groupie my way through the whole band.

      Apart from the noise coming from the TV, and the odd text alert from Ben’s phone, the bus is so quiet. The roadies have their own transport and do their own thing, and Mick, the band’s tour manager, is also their driver so it’s just me and the boys here, and everyone is too tired or too hungover to chat.

      Eddie yawns, stretching out his arms and wrapping one around me. As he does this, Mark sniggers and shoots me a filthy look. I’m finding it hard not to look at him because he’s sitting opposite me. I take my phone from my bag and I only get to tap a few buttons before it turns off. Bloody smartphones and their rubbish battery life. I’ll just close my eyes for a bit, anything that means I don’t have to look at Mark.

      Awkwardness aside, I’m really looking forward to tonight. Sleeping in a nice hotel is always better than sleeping on the bus and it will be much easier to avoid Mark too. Why