If You Don't Know Me By Now. A. Michael L.

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Название If You Don't Know Me By Now
Автор произведения A. Michael L.
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781474036481



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rel="nofollow" href="#u26c5ccb6-6e22-5453-9767-a368fdc20de7">Chapter Two

       Chapter Nine

       Chapter Ten

       Chapter Eleven

       Chapter Twelve

       Chapter Thirteen

       Chapter Fourteen

       Chapter Fifteen

       Chapter Sixteen

       Chapter Seventeen

       Chapter Eighteen

       Chapter Nineteen

       Chapter Twenty

       Chapter Twenty-One

       Epilogue

       Extract

       Endpages

       About the Publisher

       Chapter One

      ‘So, Imogen … why should I hire you?’

      Darrel, the manager of BeanTown, was the sort of man who polished his name badge. His knobbly elbows stuck out from his branded short-sleeve shirt, and he was wearing a baseball cap that proclaimed ‘It’s all in the beans!’ He tilted his head to the side, his body relaxed into the plastic chair. The posture of someone drunk on the power he had been given.

      ‘Because … I’m desperate,’ Imogen said staunchly, bitter enough about having to apply for the damn Mcjob in the first place.

      ‘And do we think desperation is a qualification, hmm?’ Darrel raised an eyebrow infuriatingly, that smarmy grin on his face.

      Imogen was not going to waste the same answers she’d been giving for the last two weeks: she was enthusiastic, she was hard-working, driven, passionate, eager to succeed, a team player, a solo player … she was a performing monkey who just needed a damn job.

      ‘Darrel,’ Imogen leaned in, swiping a strand of dark hair behind her ear so she could focus on him intensely. Her dad had always said once she set those hazel eyes on someone, they’d cave. He never said if it was out of appreciation or fear, but she suspected the latter. ‘Desperate people are in the unique position that they will do anything, and I mean anything, to keep their jobs.’

      Shit, that sounded like a proposition. She back-pedalled.

      ‘What I mean is, that because I am so very eager for this job, you can be guaranteed that I won’t slack off. I’ll be here on time, I’ll be willing to work, I won’t complain. You catch me complaining and you can fire me on the spot,’ she promised with a wide grin.

      Imogen sat up straight, head held high, like she was a prize beagle showing off her skills. Please, please, please …

      ‘All right, let’s give it a go. It’s true what they say about northerners being ballsy. Walking in here and telling me you’re desperate wouldn’t have got anyone else a job!’ Darrel laughed, a single hoot.

      Probably because they’ve all still got their self-respect in existence and their self-esteem intact, Imogen glowered, but turned all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as Darrel shook her hand and told her she could start a trial shift tomorrow, and to be there by five a.m.

      Imogen let the door slam behind her as she walked out onto Holland Park Road. It was drizzling, and as she pulled her hood up it seemed like every single person walking down the pavement bumped into her. What was it with Londoners? Did they have to get everywhere in a hurry? She passed four other cafes that had turned her down, and the pub on the corner that said she didn’t have enough experience. She’d worked in a pub for five years, she argued. Yes, but not a London pub, they’d replied. That always seemed to be the catch.

      She trudged along, down the huge wide lanes with the multi-million-pound mansions, counting the sports cars and guessing how many bedrooms each property had.

      The point had never been to do pub work anyway. Moving to London to work in a pub … well, she could have stayed in Doncaster. As her father had frequently reminded her five times this week, when he called to see how the job hunt was going.

      ‘You could still come back,’ he had said softly, and she could imagine him scratching his bald head and walking around in circles, getting tangled up in the cord of the house phone because he refused to buy a wireless one.

      ‘I thought Babs had turned my room into an office?’ She tried to say it without malice.

      ‘It’s actually a bedroom for Chico,’ her father whispered, ‘and a mini-gym.’

      Babs was a five-eight, size-eight, forty-two-year-old divorcee who was just head over heels for her dad. Which Imogen hadn’t bought for a second, because her dad was a fifty-nine-year-old, five-foot-five, balding, pot-bellied Greek Cypriot man who worked in a butcher’s and had a hairy back. Something was rotten in Doncaster.

      But she had to hand it to Babs. In six months she’d got Costa walking five nights a week, cutting back on the red meat and the salt, going to salsa lessons, and had a waxer on speed dial. She was working with raw materials and getting decent results. It was just that she was so … loud about it all. Their house had been so quiet all those years, just her and her dad, reading companionably, sharing meals, drinking Greek coffee. Occasionally the big family would descend upon them, and it would be music and parties and too much food, but for the most part they had a quiet little life. Imogen thought he’d been happy with that.

      ‘She turned my bedroom into a playpen for her chihuahua?’ Imogen had scoffed, but if she was honest with herself, Babs moving in meant she could move to London and pursue her dreams without worrying over whether her dad knew not to shrink things in the tumble dryer. She was free. It was just a shame that she was free to serve people coffee.

      She pounded down the soggy streets until she reached a busy road, all cramped terraced houses leaning on each other out of desperation. She climbed the stairs, opened the door and followed the narrow stairs with the mildew carpet up two flights. Home.

      When