An Amish Courtship. Jan Drexler

the wooden haymow floor to shake the dust off. From here he could see Sadie’s little house through the loft door. The windows were open to the spring air, and voices drifted up to him. He could distinguish Mary’s low voice, bubbling with laughter. He couldn’t keep a smile away at that thought.

      Judith’s voice rose above the others, cheerful and eager. If he had known a length of fabric would make her this happy, he would have taken the girls to town long ago. Why didn’t he? He thumped the board one last time. Because Daed wouldn’t have. He didn’t remember Daed ever taking Mamm to town. None of them went anywhere except for Daed. He kept everyone at home, where no one would see Mamm’s bruised face.

      He gripped the board as if he could split it in two. He had been following Daed’s example like a wheelbarrow following the rut he had left behind. As if he had no power over his own actions. He hadn’t treated Judith and Esther any differently than Daed had, and there was no reason for it.

      How had Bram gotten free of Daed’s shadow? Or had he? Did his pretty wife live in fear of Bram’s temper?

      Samuel leaned his head against the board, closing his eyes against the ache in his head. No woman would ever live in fear of him. He couldn’t be sure of controlling his temper, but if he stayed single and kept to himself, he could avoid Daed’s legacy in at least one area of his life.

      He lifted the board and took it to the main floor of the barn.

      Replacing the plank didn’t take much time. He spent another hour giving Chester’s stall a thorough cleaning, leveling the dirt floor and scrubbing the walls. The chickens’ area, divided from the rest of the barn by a fence of wood slats and chicken wire, was already clean with fresh straw spread over the floor. Mary and Ida Mae were giving Sadie the help she had needed.

      Movement in the vegetable garden caught his attention. Mary was there, picking lettuce. Samuel stood in the shadows just inside the door, watching the young woman in the garden. She bent, stooped and then straightened as she worked with a grace that drew him.

      A few steps brought him close. Her back was turned to him as she leaned down to reach some lettuce that was tangled in the young bean plants.

      “I’ve finished repairing the stall.”

      Mary jumped, whirling to face him. Her face was pale, and her hand clutched at the front of her apron.

      “Are you all right?” Samuel took a step closer to her, but stopped when she moved away. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

      “Ne.” She shook her head. “I mean, I’m all right. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. You surprised me.”

      Her hands trembled, and she clasped them together.

      “Are you sure you’re all right?”

      She nodded and smiled, but the smile was stiff. “I’m picking some vegetables for dinner. Esther and Judith are having such fun with their new dresses. Aunt Sadie is teaching us all sorts of sewing tricks that I’ve never known before.”

      She chattered on as she turned to the peas. Her voice became more natural, and her trembling hands stilled as she worked. When she got to the end of the row, he lifted the basket of vegetables and carried them to the back porch.

      After dinner, he would work on the pasture fence. A few loose boards near the gate needed to be tightened, and a few more around the perimeter needed to be replaced. When he finished with that, they would return home...

      “Do you think they would want to come?”

      Mary’s question brought his attention back to her one-sided conversation. He was too used to ignoring his sisters’ chatter.

      “Where?”

      “To the quilting in Eden Township on Thursday.”

      Samuel set the basket on the porch step. “Why would they want to go to another quilting?”

      Mary’s hands became fists that perched at her waist. “You weren’t listening to me, were you?”

      One look at her pursed lips, and he was done. Caught. He’d never be able to get anything by her.

      “I missed the part about the quilting.” He stared at her brown eyes. A trick he had learned from Daed. Put up a bluster. Make them think you are right, no matter what happens.

      She met his stare, her eyes narrowing. He shifted his gaze to the peas, lifting one as if to inspect it for brown spots.

      “You missed everything.” She sighed and brushed some dirt off her apron. “On Thursday, the Eden Township group is meeting at your sister Annie’s house. Aunt Sadie is planning to go, and we wondered if Judith and Esther would like to come along.”

      Annie. A pain he didn’t know he held washed through him at the thought of her curly red hair. She had left...how long ago? Almost two years? It had been soon after Daed passed away. He hadn’t spoken to her since, and he never even thought of taking the girls to visit her. Why had he ignored her after she left to marry the deacon’s son?

      Because Daed would have been angry when she went behind his back, and he had followed in Daed’s footsteps without even thinking.

      “Ja.” He made the decision quickly, before he could think of all the reasons not to go to Eden Township. All the reasons to avoid mending the family ties. “And I’ll drive you all in our buggy.”

      “You don’t need to do that. We can take Chester.”

      “I’m going to drive. I have something to do down there, too.”

      Samuel lifted the basket and followed Mary into the kitchen. He needed to mend more than just the pasture fence. Daed had never apologized for anything he did, no matter how deep the wounds ran. But he wasn’t Daed, and he wasn’t going to act like him anymore.

      He paused as Judith’s and Esther’s happy voices drifted into the kitchen from the back room. It was past time to apologize to Annie and her husband, and he had two days to prepare himself to face Bram.

      * * *

      “I can’t wait until Thursday,” Judith said.

      The dress pieces had been cut out of the new fabric before dinner, and now, while Samuel mended the pasture fence and Aunt Sadie napped in her room, the girls sat together in the sewing room, each with pinned pieces to sew together.

      “How long has it been since you’ve seen Annie?” Ida Mae asked.

      “She left home two years ago.” Esther snipped the end of her thread as she finished the shoulder of her dress, then tied a new knot to begin sewing the side seam. “She had met Matthew Beachey when he came to one of our singings, and they courted secretly for months.”

      “It wasn’t a secret to us,” Judith said.

      Esther smiled, her sewing forgotten in her lap. “She was so happy with Matthew. When she came home from one of their buggy rides, we’d be waiting up for her. She’d tell us all about what they had done and where they had gone. Most often, he took her to his family’s house after dinner to play games with his brothers and sisters in the evening, or he’d take her for a ride around Emma Lake. It sounded so romantic.”

      “Why was it such a secret?” Mary drew her thread through the seam. She had chosen the more difficult task of inserting the sleeves into the bodice of Judith’s dress.

      “She was afraid that if Daed had known she was seeing someone, he would have put a stop to it, the way he had tried to do with Katie.” Esther’s voice dropped, remembering. “Katie ran away with her beau to get married in Ohio, but Annie didn’t want to run away. She didn’t want to be separated from us.”

      Mary shifted in her chair. “But the bishop wouldn’t allow them to marry without your daed’s permission, would he?”

      “I don’t know how Annie did it, but Bishop Yoder in Eden Township came here to talk to Daed, along with Matthew and Deacon Beachey.