Aftershock. Sylvia Day

know why he always put himself down, why he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I knew I was going to make a go of it just to try to get those answers. Still, I was honest and told him, “Being with you makes me feel lonely. It reminds me that I want to find someone to be steady in my life. Someone I can depend on.”

      “I wish I was that guy,” he said quietly.

      “Yeah. Me, too.”

      2

      I INTERRUPTED MY sister-in-law the instant she answered the phone. “Traitor!”

      Denise paused in the middle of reciting the name of her beauty salon, then said, “So he called you, eh?”

      “He’s here!” I sat on the edge of my bed with a groan.

      “He’s in Atlanta? Are you serious?” Denise whistled. I heard a squeak in the background and could picture her sitting on the hot-pink stool behind the front counter of her shop. “He’s got it bad for you.”

      “I can’t believe you ratted me out like that. Don’t you think if I’d wanted him to know where I was, I would’ve told him?”

      “Come on. I’ve never seen you look at a guy the way you look at him. You can’t blame me for wanting you to be happy.”

      “He deserves to stew a bit, Denise. He deserves to miss me and wonder what I’m doing.”

      “Ah, I feel you. Sorry.”

      I kicked out my legs, my gaze dropping to my pedicure. “No, you’re not.”

      “I’m a little sorry,” she amended. “So, are you two going to kiss and make up?”

      “It’s not like that.”

      “So tell me what it’s like.”

      “Boy meets girl, boy ditches girl, boy pops up again two years later, boy screws girl and then almost screws her big business deal, boy wants to screw girl again—maybe both ways—but this time, boy says up front that he’ll be ditching girl again at some point.”

      “Hmm.” Her chewing gum bubble popped loudly. “If I hadn’t seen the way boy looks at girl, I might tell you to kick him to the curb.”

      “Probably the smart thing to do. So what’s your alternative?”

      “Screw him senseless. Rock his world. Show him what he’ll be missing. Make it hurt when he decides it’s time to walk away so he won’t go through with it.”

      If only it were that easy. “I think that’s an asinine plan.”

      “Maybe.” She laughed, and I smiled reluctantly. “But that’s a fine piece of prime male ass, Gianna. There are worse things a girl can do than spend a few hours in bed with a hot guy who’s in love with her.”

      She was saying what I’d wanted to hear—some excuse to go forward instead of cutting my losses and running. “You’re an enabler, Denise!”

      “Whatev. If Jackson’s bad for you, think about how good sex is. It’s great for the complexion, good exercise, an awesome mood booster—”

      I rolled my eyes. “Hanging up now.”

      “Love you!” she said quickly.

      “Love you, too.” I killed the call and stood for a moment, lightly tapping my chin with the end of my phone.

      I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to just walk away, even for my own self-preservation. Jax loved me enough that walking away was the only end he’d consider. Maybe Denise was onto something. Maybe instead of pushing back all the time, I had to love him with everything I had. Really make him feel it, so he’d miss it when it was gone, enough to bring him back to me.

      Problem with that, though, was that he’d screwed me businesswise. And I couldn’t let it go. That was a cut that ran deep.

      * * *

      Chad and Rick, the hotel manager, hit it off right away. I enjoyed listening to the two talk with their Southern drawls, charmed by both men and entertained to boot. But when Rick extended an invitation to dinner, I declined after Chad accepted, not wanting to cramp his style. I figured it was important for him to feel connected on his own, without me hovering all the time. I wasn’t his babysitter, and I didn’t want him to feel as if I didn’t trust him to handle his business on his own.

      When I got back to my room, I called Lei.

      “Gianna,” she said when she picked up, knowing it was me from the office’s caller ID. “How are things going in Atlanta?”

      “Chad’s feeling good,” I said. “He’s been comfortable and relaxed, and really excited. The visit did what we’d hoped.”

      Perceptive as she was, she asked, “And you? Are you feeling good, too?”

      “Jackson followed me down here.” I didn’t share that personal detail with my boss, or dish like I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I told her because there was no way around a possible conflict of interest. I wasn’t going to let Jax jeopardize my job any further.

      “Did he?” Her tone was thoughtful. “Well... How do you feel about that?”

      “I’m not sure. No,” I amended, “that’s not true. I’m pissed off that he’s made an already complicated relationship more complicated by investing in Pembry Ventures. Not just that, but he called Isabelle directly to solidify her defecting. I can’t trust him, Lei.”

      Every time I thought about what he’d done, I got angry all over again.

      “That’s a fatal flaw.”

      “I know it.” The thing was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jax had deliberately moved to put a wedge between us. But I couldn’t decide if that motivation made him less dangerous or more so. “I need you to tell me if I’m risking my job.”

      “You know you are. I’m not going to fire you over who you date, Gianna. That’s your business. But if he happens to make another move that looks like he got a tip from you—whether it was done deliberately or not—I’ll have to let you go, because then we’re talking about my business. Got it?”

      My stomach knotted. “Got it.”

      “All right.” Her voice softened. “What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”

      I told her. While I spoke calmly and steadily, I couldn’t shake the fear that had taken root. I’d planned my whole future around my job and I didn’t have a Plan B.

      “Let me know what Chad thinks of the architect’s renderings when he sees them. And take care of yourself, Gianna. You’re not just an employee to me. I think you know that.”

      I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do. Thanks, Lei.”

      We hung up and I threw my phone on the bed. A headache was building and I loosened the clip that rolled my hair into a neat chignon at my nape. I really hated Jax at that moment. I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions he’d been stirring up in me since he had walked back into my life. I kept shifting from wanting to heal whatever was wounding him to wanting to hurt him myself.

      Ping. Incoming text.

      When I saw Going crazy waiting 4 u from Jax, I let it all explode.

      I called him. Everything that was wrong in my life was his fault and he needed to know that.

      “Tell me you’re in the lobby,” he said in greeting, his voice husky.

      I didn’t screw around. “I love my job. It’s the most important thing in my life, and I’m in danger of losing it because of you.”

      It took him a second to switch gears. “Fuck. Gia—”

      “If you love me at all,