The Wives. Lauren Weisberger

are you up to today?’ Paul asked as he tied his towel around his waist and swiped on some deodorant.

      Paul had never shown anything but complete support for her decisions. Whether she was working eighty hours a week at Skadden or enjoying her new, more leisurely life, he was completely behind her. He didn’t mean it now in a snarky way, he was just expressing interest in her day. Still, she felt a little stupid telling him that she was planning to attend a sip ’n’ see at eleven.

      ‘That sounds nice,’ he said through a mouthful of toothpaste.

      ‘I mean, who does that? A formal baby viewing at eleven a.m. on a Wednesday? Does no one have anywhere else to be?’

      He spat and rinsed. ‘Go and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.’ Another unsexy peck, this one on the cheek. ‘I’ve got to jump on this call. I’ll see you at the school at three. And have fun at the party!’

      ‘Thanks,’ she muttered, but he was already gone.

      A scan through her own closet revealed a lot of leftover work clothes and plenty of workout clothes, but not much else. She pulled out a pair of black pants, boot-cut and professional, with a white silk blouse, kitten-heeled patent-leather shoes, and her late grandmother’s gold-leaf necklace. Miriam glanced in the mirror and nodded with approval. Totally inoffensive. Blending in. Perfect for anything from a conference room to a Hadassah luncheon. But when she walked into the kitchen, Emily turned around from her perch in front of the cabinet-mounted TV, coffee mug in hand, and said, ‘Really? You look like a cater-waiter.’

      ‘Thanks. You always know just what to say.’ Miriam stuck a mug in the coffee machine and hit ‘start.’ ‘Where are you going?’ she asked Emily, taking in her leather leggings, chunky cardigan tied off at the waist, and four-inch booties.

      ‘With you,’ Emily said.

      ‘Like hell you are.’ Miriam splashed some leftover milk from one of the kid’s cereal bowls into her coffee and took a sip. ‘Seriously, where?’

      ‘I can’t sit here anymore. Please.’

      ‘I’m hardly tying you to the bed each day. You’re free to go any time. I’ve even offered you a ride to the airport.’

      ‘I know, I know. Miles isn’t home to visit for another couple weeks, and you know I hate being alone. Plus, I can’t face everyone after this whole thing with Kim Kelly. Don’t make me leave. I even kind of sort of like it here. In a weird, fucked-up way.’

      ‘I’m not making you leave! But there is no way you’re coming with me to a sip ’n’ see. You weren’t invited. You don’t even like babies.’

      ‘I’m sure there’ll plenty of wine, so I’ll be fine. Please? I won’t embarrass you.’ Emily motioned again to Miriam’s outfit with a look of pure disgust. ‘Although I hardly think I’ll be the problem.’

      Miriam couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You are such a bitch. Fine. I’ll say you’re my pathetic, childless, out-of-town friend who’s going through a really hard time right now. But promise me you’ll keep your mouth closed. It’d be nice to meet some new people without you scaring them all off.’

      Emily headed to the mudroom. ‘Come on, we don’t want to be late.’

      The drive to the sip ’n’ see took them through Greenwich’s downtown, which upon first glance resembled a charming version of a pedestrian-friendly, all-American Any Town – until you noticed the storefronts: Tiffany, rag & bone, Baccarat, Alice and Olivia, Joie, Vince, Theory. One of the only mom-and-pop stores sold and serviced fur coats. Range Rovers and Audi SUVs occupied at least fifty percent of the metered spots.

      But soon they were past it and weaving through the more rural part of town, on the outskirts closer to Bedford, to a pretty street that snaked through the woods. Miriam turned onto a road with a very small and subtle ‘private’ sign and followed it up and over a steep hill, then down into a more densely wooded area until the woods cleared to reveal a gorgeous, sprawling estate. A handsome valet who looked more like he belonged on a surfboard than in a uniform materialized at the driver’s side and took Miriam’s keys.

      ‘Now we’re talking!’ Emily said, staring. ‘Who did you say this was for?’

      ‘One of the moms in Maisie’s class. Just had her fourth baby. I don’t really know her, but my co-room mom, Ashley, is organizing it, and she invited me.’

      ‘I’m no expert, but I thought you didn’t get a shower after baby number one.’

      ‘It’s not a shower. It’s a viewing. Plus, this is Greenwich, where we embrace all excuses to drink during the day.’

      A heavyset woman in black pants and a pressed white shirt opened the front door as they approached. Emily took one look at the maid’s uniform, turned to Miriam, and raised her eyebrows.

      They were escorted through a sprawling kitchen and into the most spectacular greenhouse, a massive room with a glass ceiling and all-glass walls that overlooked acres of snow-covered backyard. Exotic cacti and tropical plants in hand-painted planters; succulents of all shapes and sizes; orchids and birds-of-paradise in bright bursts of color. Among all this natural beauty, sixty or so of the most meticulously put-together women Miriam had ever seen lounged on upholstered chaises, perched on sofa backs, stood in groups of three and four, and sipped mimosas and Bloody Marys, each looking like her own version of perfection with a glossy blowout and an outfit just like Emily’s. More attractive waiters floated around refilling drinks and offering fruit skewers and Greek-yogurt mini-parfaits and other assorted carb-free goodies. The decorations were shades of pink, but nothing else was baby-themed: not a diaper or a baby bottle in sight.

      ‘I feel like we just stepped into an episode of Housewives,’ Emily hissed. ‘Only without all the screaming. And with much better taste.’

      Before Miriam could respond, her co-room mom, Ashley, bounded over, an absolute vision of perkiness: perky blond bob, perky boobs, perky smile. Veneered teeth. Pretty in a girl-next-door way and just stylish enough not to be intimidating in a short dress with ankle booties and a cropped leather jacket. Her diamonds were gorgeous without being ostentatious, her tan was just right, and her perfume was detectable but not overwhelming. She seemed so happy.

      ‘Miriam! I’m so glad you could make it!’ Then, turning to Emily but without a hint of disapproval, she said, ‘Hi there, I’m Ashley. I don’t think we’ve met.’

      Miriam started to explain why she’d brought an uninvited friend, but Emily turned on her own beaming smile. ‘Ashley! Miriam has told me so much about you. She said you’re showing her the ropes with … everything. I’m Emily Charlton. I’m visiting from L.A., and Miriam took pity on me sitting at home alone and invited me along. I hope you don’t mind?’

      Ashley appeared thunderstruck. ‘Wait. You’re Emily Charlton? Not the Emily Charlton?’

      Miriam tried not to laugh as she watched Emily’s face transform from fake happiness to genuine joy. ‘Do we know each other?’ she asked with faux humility.

      ‘No, no! I mean, of course you don’t know me,’ Ashley said, looking flustered for the first time Miriam had ever seen. ‘But I’m very into fashion – not that you can tell by this old thing – and, well, I have totally followed your career from your Runway days. I think it’s just incredible what you’ve done for Kim Kelly. She was a hot mess before she met you!’

      Miriam noticed Emily’s jaw tighten at Kim’s name. This could very easily take a turn for the worse. Quickly, before Emily could say anything appalling, Miriam grabbed her by the arm. ‘Ashley, we’ll be right back. I want to introduce her to the guest of honor.’ She yanked Emily to the other side of the room and shot her a warning look. ‘Best behavior,’ she said in a low voice.

      ‘Yes, Mom,’ Emily said. ‘But you can’t keep me from my adoring fans forever.’

      The