Blink and You Die. Lauren Child

at LB’s door.

      A builder’s truck manoeuvred its way down the street and pulled up outside the Lemons’ house, blocking part of Cedarwood Drive. An angry driver began honking his horn, but the truck didn’t move. The driver got out of his car, the truck driver out of his truck, and they began shouting at each other. The shouts of the men in the street masked the sound of footsteps on the roof above her. It was only when the hatch opened that Ruby realised that someone was up there.

      ‘Who’s there?’ cried Ruby, the ladder rocking dangerously as she turned to look.

      ‘Ah,’ said Hitch. ‘It looks like you’re back.’

      ‘Jeepers! Ever think of knocking?’ scolded Ruby.

      ‘A bit weird isn’t it – knocking on the ceiling?’ said Hitch. He had a tool belt around his waist and a reel of cable slung across his shoulder.

      ‘What are you doing up there anyway?’

      ‘It’s a long story and I’ll fill you in on it when I’ve got time, but I ought to get going.’

      ‘You don’t want to hear the latest?’ she asked.

      ‘Itching to hear your news kid, but it’s a pleasure I’m going to have to put on hold.’ He opened the window and climbed out onto the ledge.

      ‘Doors too good for you, are they?’

      ‘I hadn’t realised you were so hung up on the rules,’ said Hitch as he disappeared from view. ‘Good to see you kid,’ he called.

      

      RUBY HAD BARELY REPOSITIONED HERSELF on the stepladder when there was a knock at her bedroom door. Her husky dog Bug got to his feet and ambled over.

      ‘Is that you?’ she called, slipping the notebook under her behind.

      ‘Who else would it be?’ came the reply.

      ‘You may enter,’ Ruby called.

      ‘One day you’ll break your neck,’ said the housekeeper walking into the room.

      Ruby looked down to see Mrs Digby, holding a tray and scanning the floor for empty mugs and dirty plates.

      ‘That’s not a very cheery greeting,’ said Ruby.

      ‘It won’t be a very cheering sight if it happens,’ said the old lady. ‘Nor if that butler falls off the house,’ she said, peering out of the window at Hitch. ‘Is he after squirrels again? Or is it window weevils?’

      ‘Who in only knows?’ said Ruby.

      ‘What are you doing up there anyway? Spying on folks, I’ll warrant.’

      ‘Watching,’ corrected Ruby.

      ‘Same thing,’ sniffed the housekeeper. ‘Never was there a child as curious as you.’

      ‘Did my folks have a late night or something?’ said Ruby, looking at her watch. It was rare for them to lie in; they were what Mrs Digby called ‘early birds’.

      ‘If you want the answer to that question then you’re going to have to dial long distance,’ said Mrs Digby.

      ‘Huh?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Paris, France,’ said the housekeeper, ‘that’s where they are.’

      ‘They are?’ said Ruby. ‘Why?’

      ‘That butler friend of yours talked them into it.’

      ‘Hitch?’ said Ruby, like the Redforts had a team of butlers.

      ‘He thought they needed a vacation; why I don’t know since the only vacation they could use is a vacation from vacations.’ Mrs Digby tutted. Just thinking about the number of trips that pair made could make her travelsick.

      ‘So when are they home?’ asked Ruby.

      ‘Day after tomorrow. They wanted to be back in time for your return, but apparently all the flights were chock-a-block.’

      ‘I’m sure Hitch could get them home. He’s pretty good at persuading airline people to do what he wants.’

      ‘Well, he failed this time,’ said Mrs Digby, ‘but I guess even he doesn’t have much hold over the weather.’

      ‘The weather?’

      ‘Blizzards,’ said Mrs Digby. ‘Paris is under several feet of snow.’

      ‘Is that so?’ said Ruby. ‘How long are they expected to—’ She broke off, her attention caught by something else. ‘Mrs Digby,’ said Ruby, peering at the old lady, ‘something has happened to your face.’

      ‘Well, that doesn’t sound quite polite,’ said the housekeeper.

      ‘I mean you look different.’ Ruby stared hard at her. ‘Tanned!’ she said, finally figuring out what had changed.

      ‘Well, since you ask, I’ve been cruising.’

      ‘What?’

      ‘I’ve been cruising around the Caribbean.’

      Ruby looked stunned.

      ‘On a boat.’

      ‘I know what a cruise is,’ said Ruby. ‘I’m just interested to understand how you got to be on one.’

      ‘I won it fair and square.’

      ‘Won what?’

      ‘A cruise.’

      ‘How?’

      ‘In a competition. I won it and took Cousin Emily along with me.’

      ‘What competition?’ asked Ruby.

      ‘Well, that’s the curious thing,’ said Mrs Digby. ‘I don’t exactly remember entering one, but I suppose I must have, and you know what they say …’

      ‘What?’ said Ruby.

      Mrs Digby looked at her conspiratorially and said, ‘Don’t ask too many questions or they’ll find you out.’

      Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘You mean they might have made a giant mistake and given you a prize you didn’t actually win?’

      ‘I’m not saying it’s not impossible,’ said Mrs Digby.

      Mrs Digby’s view on keeping one’s mouth shut was similar to Spectrum’s number one rule: KEEP IT ZIPPED. Ruby herself had a little book of rules, 80 of them to be accurate – it was a magenta book with the word ‘Rules’ printed on it in red. While the housekeeper busied herself collecting the rest of the dirty crockery, Ruby was left to her thoughts and she was surprised that one of her thoughts was, I wish my folks were home. Ruby was an independent kid; she didn’t need people around her all the time for comfort or security. She had what Mrs Digby called inner reserves, by which she meant a strong sense of who she was, but for some reason today sitting up there on that stepladder, Ruby just felt a strong need to see her mom and dad. The house felt not so much quiet without them, as actually: empty.

      ‘By the way,’ said Mrs Digby, ‘I hate to be the one to tell you, but that Archie Lemon busted into your room and ate some of your books.’

      ‘What? You’re kidding?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Before you get all animated about it, I should just say, it wasn’t while I was watching him.’

      ‘So who was?’ asked Ruby.

      ‘That would be his mother, Elaine. She was over visiting your mom and neither of them