So...You Wanna Throw A Party!. Larry Gootkin

distance. The people at the event were happy, but, some clients couldn’t understand why their guests left early. They had hired a good band, good caterer, it was a Saturday night and yet, everyone was leaving around 11:00 p.m.! We’re supposed to play till midnight. I finally figured it out. The caterer and band were at opposite ends. Their objectives were different. The scenario goes something like this.

       The caterer felt the food was most important. Serve the guests great food. Make sure that everyone’s fed. After dessert, ”I’ll clean, pack and go home because my role in this party is over. The faster I finish, the sooner I can leave”.

      On the other hand, the band is usually hired for a minimum of four hours. Let’s say eight p.m. until midnight. The bandleader would like to keep the guests there and dancing until the end. The bandleader might feel a little insecure if the guests start leaving at 11:00 p.m. In fact, they might get some complaints from the client stating “I hired you for four hours and all my guests left at 11:00 p.m. Perhaps you’re not as good as I thought you were. Do I get a discount because you didn’t play the last hour?” Or even worse, Gloria, who attended the event calls up her best friend Sue, who is considering using the same band for her party. Sue asks, “how was the band?” Gloria replies, “I guess they were okay but everyone left by 11:00 p.m. I don’t know why but most of guests said good-bye to the host and hostess and then left. I guess the band was having an off-night even though I thought they sounded good.”

      So, caterer versus bandleader. Two different goals about the same PARTY. They are not, “on-the-same-page”. They should be. Their job is providing their talents and creativity. Most clients prefer a “team effort” from the professionals that they hire. I believe it is a critical to the party’s success. Therefore, I am going to discuss this in the next chapter.

      The Successful Party

      I’m hoping one of the reasons you bought this book was your wish to throw a party. Your wish to make it a “successful” party. I’ll continue my story of the caterer and the bandleader.

      I had to figure out how I could get us working “on-the-same-page”. First off, I don’t care if you have Wolfgang Puck and Sting hired for your next soiree (by the way, if you do, I’ll have a pepperoni pizza with some “fields of gold” if you please). Seriously, you need to explain to your bandleader and caterer what you have in mind. Don’t let them persuade you to do it only their way. Let them first discover learn what you would like. I am aware that you might not know all the answers to that question but a professional caterer or bandleader will know how to help you decide what you would like.

      In the story at the end of the last chapter, no one knew what was wrong with the event that ended at 11:00 p.m. They just felt that something wasn’t right. People judge parties. They believe a party to be successful (or not) for various reasons. Here’s what they might ask themselves.

       Was the dance floor full of guests dancing?

       What time did the party end? Did it go the distance? (In this case, to midnight or even later)

       Was the food good?

       What did the room look like?

       Did I have a good time?

       The bandleader, caterer, room, decor and other elements of your party are, by habit, always judged by the guests at the party. This happens either consciously or subconsciously. Gloria had a good time. However, she still felt the band had an off-night because everyone went home an hour earlier than expected.

      Here is a secret I discovered many years ago. If you want your guests to feel that you had a great party and you don’t want them leaving an hour earlier than expected, then the timing of your meal is critical. Ask your caterer to serve a “slow” meal as they call it in the industry. Try to build in some dance time, toast time, whatever time, between your food courses. Ask for your meal to be “spaced out” on purpose (no, not crazy). You would like plenty of time between the food courses so you can dance, have toasts, watch a video or many other formalities. You do not want your courses served one right after the other. When a meal is served in its entirety within the first hour of the party (second hour if you count the cocktail hour), what’s left is your entertainment for the next two to three hours. What happens if your entertainment is a deejay or band? They’re supposed to play background music during the meal, and dance music the rest of the time. Here’s the problem.

      What happens with guests that don’t prefer dancing? Socializing is all that’s left. They will tire. (Try to remember the last time you were out with friends at a restaurant. Chances are you did not spend four hours eating, drinking and being social). The entire meal is finished. Guests can graciously say good-bye to the host and hostess. They feel they haven’t missed anything and have stayed long enough. Put bluntly, “The meal is over. I don’t dance. I’m stuffed and haven’t gotten up from my chair for at least an hour. I’m tired, so let’s say our good-byes and get out of here.”

      I feel this is wrong. It doesn’t have to be like this. A good bandleader, or deejay or entertainer will be able to cover, what I call, the “in-between” periods. By serving a “slow” meal your guests can catch their breath between courses and dance. They can stand up, stretch and visit with other guests. They’re not “glued” to their seats for a nonstop meal. This will naturally extend the party instead of rushing it. And the guests that don’t dance, just might join in. They know that dessert will come later. Once more, a good band or deejay involves guests between the courses.

      This helps everyone involved. It works on many different levels. The caterer might argue, “I always serve one course after the other”. Let me say, when I would suggest to my clients to ask their caterer to not rush the meal, we always had a more successful party. I am happy to say, that I have personally converted many hotels and caterers. I have shown them a successful formula for everyone involved. The caterer gets more business because the guests aren’t rushed. The entertainment receives more referrals because everyone had a good time (and stayed longer). The guests look forward to the next course. They are not being “asked” to eat quickly. Too much food in too short a time is not good. If your meal is buffet style, there are ways to have a slower meal. Let your party “breathe”. Your guests will reward you by staying longer and having a better time. The “Glorias” at the party will tell the “Sues” how great it was. They can’t understand why it was so good. They stayed until it was over (or almost over). This will help make your party successful. It all started with a “slow” meal and good entertainment.

      I prefer the “same-page technique” when I am involved with a party. I create a schedule or time-line. Everyone involved with the party (entertainment, catering, florists, decor), receives a time-line many weeks before the event date. The following examples are events I have coordinated. Changes were made in advance, or when necessary, at the event. Communication ahead of time helps everyone involved and adds to the success of the party.

      SCHEDULE EXAMPLES

      WEDDING SCHEDULE

      COMPANY EVENT SCHEDULE

      BAR MITZVAH SCHEDULE

      ANNIVERSARY SCHEDULE

      DJ WEDDING SCHEDULE

      Where your event is held will affect the decor that you are considering. The next chapter is about your decor.