Word Plays & Stories.... Cathy Lorraine Bagley

made parenting possible in more than one way.

       Astounded and frightened all men took the test,

       to see who were carriers, which safeguards were best?

       God looked down upon them just shaking His head.

       The only remedy is planning and sober thought instead

       of reckless sex satisfying base too many urges.

       Minds out of control with those hormone surges

       given to you for procreation’s sake.

       Abused by you professing love that is fake!

      Now consequently having sex you see,

       can land men in labor and delivery

       Not patiently awaiting and pacing the floor

       but legs strapped tightly in stirrups

       screaming, “GOD, PLEASE NO MORE! I can’t take this much too painful awake birth!” Oh the agony of months carrying that extra wide girth. In an organ intended for no carrying capacity Who knew it possessed such rugged elasticity!

      Urologists, proctologists all up in a tizzy,

       testing contraception until they got dizzy.

       The NIH and CDC’s funds grew tremendous.

       News media cackled on. It was endless!

       Facebook, Twitter and calls also on Skype,

       text, faxes, email messages all spreading the hype.

       Pontificating about why and how this occurred,

       germ warfare gone wrong and our efforts deterred.

       Foreign cogent agents searched for even a trace,

       hoping to attach a name on the perpetrator’s face

       of a clever mad scientist who perfected the potion,

       to alter man’s DNA across his and our ocean.

       Scientists, pharmacist, bio-engineers,

       hunkered down conferencing with all of their peers.

       Entrepreneurs, stock brokers buzzed in excitement,

       as investments soared. Products offered enlightenment.

      Mass production and sales of a male contraceptive aid, caused a boost in the economy as new jobs were laid.

      Bars took a dive, boozing and drugs took a forever hiatus.

       Man was too scared to lose control and of torturing his meatus.

       Fearing highs from drugs thus making them leap,

       in bed without looking and in ten months they’d weep.

       Drug lords became obsolete things of the past,

       winding up pregnant, they could not outlast

       pain from the births they just had to endure.

      Illicit drugs intensified pain providing no cure! Narcotized from medications that only sedated while cloudy in thoughts, pain still hadn’t abated. Taking too much of their own contraband did not one thing in lending a hand!

      Epidurals and blocks reduced pain’s scale from ten to eight.

      Men demanded them anyway, hostile and refusing to wait!

      For those lucky enough to drop from a ten to a five,

      relief was short; they survived birth though barely alive!

      Alcohol sales became low and defunct.

       Rational behavior made recklessness take a dunk!

      Even counselors and psychiatrist began to understand

      where sessions and drugs failed, Almighty God had a hand!

      They agreed that in saving man’s mind that a body alone

      was worthless if at last the soul and its spirit had gone!

      God smiled and looked over His work, proud once again that His children had more reason to determine their end.

      Pt VI: News Flash Addendum … O-M-G, Too!

       As for My daughter thoughtlessly donating an egg, with pregnancy tests positive without means or a leg to stand or walk on for the kind of support needed to raise children so they choose to abort, Don’t you know it hurts Me that life could be carelessly erased and I cringe every time reproduction’s generous gift is disgraced?

      The DNA code mutated in women at greater cost,

       making their wombs impervious to premature loss.

       Neither abortion clinics nor concocted home substitutions

       could harm mother and her unborn baffling medical institutions!

       In addition to this most remarkable change,

       the gestational length dragged out of normalcy’s range

       of what was formally measured in forty weeks,

       now only marked fetal development’s halfway peaks.

       Perplexed OB/GYN’s and creationists went, “Wow!” Gestation’s length had more than doubled somehow. The headlines exploded when news of this spread, developing life took twice as long or more instead. How abortion and pregnancy loss rates now did all plummet. News at ten focused on reproductive health’s world summit.

      Designated experts tested wondering what was left to test more?

       African geneticists then isolated simple code changes at the core.

       Apparently a mutation in women’s DNA,

       extended pregnancy’s length an unusual way.

       Astounded and frightened all women agreed on the test

       to see who were carriers and what safeguarded at best.

      Again, God looked down simply shaking His head. The only remedy was planning with care instead of yielding to base desires and urges satisfying lust’s inclinations that were hormonally gratifying.

      Obstetricians, pediatricians, geneticists all loosing their grip,

       tried to sort out how it happened, this strange genetic blip.

       Frantic, sleep deprived and in such a terrible tizzy,

       contraceptives were tested until researchers grew dizzy!

       Pharmaceutical companies worked circling the clock

       searching for keys to disengage the insurmountable lock

       of efficacious broadly acceptable human conception prevention

       along with that of male pain management’s intervention.

       Be they implanted devices, pills or injections,

       how can we survive hidden testing imperfections

       without fear of ill effects or needless litigation?

       God, let our productions remedy this situation!

       The NIH and the FDA’s funding grew tremendously.

       The news media still babbled on and on endlessly

       pontificating about why and how this occurred…

       germ warfare gone wrong all solution’s efforts deterred!

      With foreign world agents searching and frantic,

       to find the creator of such a far reaching antic.

       What sadistic scientist created such a DNA bomb

       highly more effective than that utilized in Nam?

       Once unknown and formerly undiscovered now on everyone’s tongue media helicopters hovered for a chance to see who government spies would finger to be the criminal mastermind not