Mr. Burns and Other Plays. Anne Washburn

       Alicia. (Only with her eyes: Russell)

       Perry. (Only with her eyes: Owens)

      EMILY: Okay. Okay. Thank you.

      CHAPTER 12

       The remnants of a vast meal. Absurd amounts of dirty plates. The Non-Prophet’s place setting remains untouched, and he is sipping at a tiny cup of espresso. Jeremiah has pushed the plates aside, and commandeered the bread basket; he is demolishing the last of the bread and then begins on a cucumber.

      JEREMIAH: In the beginning, I did not mind the pit. Well, I had questions about the mire. I was glad, though, to be in a place where I could speak without . . . bad consequences . . . to myself. I did a little bit of singing and I enjoyed that, there was a reverberation, I sounded almost professional; I felt free.

       In time, I began to feel agitated. I could not pace, or, beat against the sides of my imprisonment because of the mire which was . . . bogging-down . . . and entrapping. Also I felt . . . hot . . . inside, because of my certainty, and as days went on I felt hotter. Rats don’t know anything and they don’t care about anything, at least that’s the way I see it, and whatever I said to them it didn’t matter to them either pro or con.

       Beginning from that time, I found I could not like the pit. Even when I was singing. And I was hot because of the certainty, and increasingly I found that I had a great deal of hunger. Also there was no question of sleeping. Because of the sinking-under-the-mire problem. And then today . . . today? Yes. Today then they threw a rope down. I wanted to laugh, because they were whispering very dramatically the whole time. They had a torch and they would light it, and then whisper very dramatically, and then extinguish it, and then they would argue, and then they would light it again. I laughed and laughed. They were furious. They shouted they forgot to whisper. They said this is an extreme secret. I took hold of the rope but when they pulled my fingers slid away. They threw it down again. I couldn’t make my fingers clutch. Probably from all of the not-eating.

       I like this meal very much. Both in terms of taste, and quantity. I wonder do you think they bake their own bread, or do they have a supplier in the city? I would be interested to purchase it on my own, possibly in bulk.

      THE NON-PROPHET: And so you were lifted out of the pit.

      JEREMIAH: Yes. With cast clouts and with rotten—

      THE NON-PROPHET: And they took you—

       Jeremiah freezes.

       Probably that’s a secret.

      JEREMIAH: I think that probably, yes. I think that yes it is.

      THE NON-PROPHET: They took you to a person.

      JEREMIAH: They did take me to a person.

      THE NON-PROPHET: And you spoke, to this person.

      JEREMIAH (After a beat): There was some chat.

      THE NON-PROPHET: And after the chat.

      JEREMIAH: Then I was outside again.

      THE NON-PROPHET: And the feeling, the—

      JEREMIAH: Then it was subsided.

      THE NON-PROPHET: And tomorrow?

      JEREMIAH: Oh. (Beat) It will begin again.

      THE NON-PROPHET: It’s painful.

      JEREMIAH: Not at first, no. In the beginning it’s not so bad. I can just, I can mutter a little, and that’s fine. And then a feeling of pressure, which increaseth. And I can I can pick up a telephone, in a booth on the street, and I can speak into the telephone, into the dial tone, and that’s fine but then after a while that won’t work and I have to call someone on the phone, anyone at all, whatever number I make up and if they answer I speak to them until they hang up.

       But that doesn’t work for long. Then I have to start arguing in bars and shouting on the street and a back street isn’t good enough, no, it has to be a broad street and really there have to be columns nearby and . . . stripey . . . marble and acoustics and, you know, obviously, just . . . swarms . . . of people. Who will stare back at me blankly. And then inevitably I will be seized by a terrible chilly fury. And then of course I’ll end back in the pit. So I’d like more bread now I think. Waiter?

       A little bit of a desperate roar.

       Waiter!?!

       The Non-Prophet touches him lightly on the shoulder. Jeremiah subsides. The Non-Prophet makes a light little gesture, in the air, and bread is brought.

       With great restraint Jeremiah recites:

       This is a miracle. If I walk into a field of wheat, I cannot eat it. This is a miracle. If I hold a handful of flour I cannot eat it. This is a miracle. If I muddle together water, salt, yeast and flour I still cannot eat it. But I can eat this miracle.

       Jeremiah starts tearing into it.

      THE NON-PROPHET: The certainty of the powerless is terrible. I can help you you know.

      JEREMIAH (Laughs a little): The Lord is with me. The Lord is always with me. Who can help me?

       He starts in again on the bread.

       The Non-Prophet looks both ways, then leans in toward Jeremiah, and begins whispering in his ear. Jeremiah at first continues stuffing his mouth with bread, listening, then he starts to shake his head no, then he puts the bread down, The Non-Prophet continues whispering, Jeremiah is shaking his head no, then he stops shaking his head, The Non-Prophet continues whispering, Jeremiah is absolutely still, The Non-Prophet continues whispering, Jeremiah’s body starts to shake, he starts to sob silently, he clutches his face, he is racked with silent sobs, The Non-Prophet has to grasp on to his shoulder to keep contact with him, mouth to ear, he continues whispering, all but wrapping him in an embrace as Jeremiah dissolves.

      CHAPTER 13

       Don’t forget that it’s still raining heavily, continuously.

       Ruthie is staring fixedly into space.

       When she hears the key in the lock she picks up a book.

       Hananiah enters.

       She looks up and puts her book down, he registers her but does not really see her.

       He is carrying a paper bag.

       He stands in the middle of the room. He looks at the paper bag. He looks up. He looks around. He looks at the bag.

      HANANIAH: I was buying coffee.

      RUTHIE: Yes. You said you would.

       He looks at her, still not really seeing her. He sits down. And looks at her really for the first time.

      HANANIAH: I was in line. I was going to buy coffee. And I was tapped on my . . . (He can’t think of the word)

      RUTHIE: Shoulder?

      HANANIAH: Here (Places his hand on the halfway point between shoulder and elbow) by a man who said will you come with me please.

       I thought he meant, I thought he must mean I had been stealing. Even though I wasn’t. Because they do sell small things there but only up at the counter. I would have had to have sidled up to the counter and taken, candies, and then stepped back to get in line. I would have taken them when I had already gotten to the counter that’s what I was thinking. It didn’t make sense to me.

       He said you’re Hananiah the prophet I said yes and people had turned around; I thought all right I can’t make a fuss here, I’ll explain in the back office. I mean if they have to search my pockets, whatever. And he led me out the door. And I was just sort of thinking: we’re on the street, that’s funny, I thought there were back offices and I realize because he’s got me by the arm that he’s hustling but I mean it’s all very inconspicuous and delicate there’s