Uncomfortable Ideas. Bo Bennett PhD

Perhaps this is their goal.

      Uncomfortable Idea: Parents are more interested in creating obedient children than moral children.

The online group South African Feminists state that “not all ideas are worth debating,”⁸ with which I would agree. I’m not spending my time debating a flat earth. Many years back, out of curiosity, I did look at the arguments and found them easily debunked. Unless a flat-earther has some new and compelling evidence that disproves hundreds of years of mathematical proofs along with geological, cosmological, and astrological evidence, it is not worth debating. The problem is with the reasons that are given as to why some ideas are not worth debating. The South African feminists group states that “One of our rules is that victim-blaming is absolutely forbidden; we assume that everyone in the group knows that victim-blaming is wrong.” Fair enough. It’s sick when people blame girls for getting raped because “they were asking for it” by the way they dressed. But is “blaming” the same thing as sharing some of the responsibility? If I go into a black neighborhood and start yelling “White people rule!” repeatedly at the top of my lungs, then I get the bejesus kicked out of me, do I not bear at least some of the responsibility for the fact that I have been beaten up even if I am not responsible for the crime of assault? We don’t know how the members of this feminist group would answer these questions because these are questions that we are expressly forbidden to ask. It is my guess that this group is conflating blame for the crime with sharing some of the responsibility for the action. While it is an uncomfortable idea, there have been several studies that link provocative dress and alcohol use to rape⁹¹⁰¹¹—at least enough that I, as a social scientist who understands the research, would be concerned enough about the safety of my teenage daughter to warn her how her behavior can increase the odds of becoming a victim of a crime. It sucks that we live in a society where this is true, but the fact that it sucks doesn’t change the fact that it’s true, and refusing to discuss this may make girls feel more liberated but certainly does not make them any safer.

      Uncomfortable Idea: Victims of crimes often share some of the responsibility for the situation. Taking preventative measures (such as locking your car doors to prevent auto theft) can reduce the odds that you will become a victim.

      Conscious, Individual Avoidance

      Conscious, individual avoidance occurs when a person deliberately plans to keep oneself from exposure to uncomfortable ideas or decides not to entertain uncomfortable ideas. This kind of avoidance is commonly demonstrated through our preferences.

      Since the beginning of human communication, we have had some level of discretion over the ideas to which we are exposed. Books, plays, public debates, movies, and radio shows all expressing ideas and exposing us to different points of view, and most of which we could choose to avoid and ignore. Prior to the mid-nineties, our media sources were extremely limited compared to the choices we have today thanks to the Internet. With what is practically unlimited choice, systems have been put in place that allow individuals to only get information from sources of their choice. Some of these systems include social media tools such as Facebook and Twitter, newsfeeds, podcasts, YouTube subscriptions, recommendation algorithms (e.g., Netflix’s “because you watched X...”), and downloadable news apps. With this kind of control over the information to which we are exposed, we can easily avoid sources that expose us to uncomfortable ideas.

      Uncomfortable Idea: It’s very likely that your impression of the world is highly inaccurate due to how you are choosing to get your information.

One of the primary characteristics of a cult or cult-like behavior is isolation. Isolation includes cutting social ties with people who don’t subscribe to the beliefs of the group. Some religious groups encourage and even require their members to disassociate themselves with all those outside the group. They often do this by demonizing or dehumanizing the outgroup. The popular Christian website “GotQuestions.org” makes this point clear: “Unbelievers have opposite worldviews and morals” and “The idea is that the pagan, wicked, unbelieving world is governed by the principles of Satan and that Christians should be separate from that wicked world, just as Christ was separate from all the methods, purposes, and plans of Satan.”¹² The belief that nonbelievers are puppets of Satan aside, many studies in social behavior have demonstrated that intergroup contact is one of the best ways to dissolve false stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination.¹³ Of course, if a person truly believes through faith that the outgroup is evil incarnate, then attempting to persuade that person that they should seek to understand the outgroup is unlikely to be effective.

      Uncomfortable Idea: If an authority figure is trying to keep you from interacting with others outside your group, that’s a strong sign that you are in a cult.

      Unconscious, Group Avoidance

      Unconscious, group avoidance occurs when two or more people shelter themselves and/or others from uncomfortable ideas without realizing it. This kind of avoidance is demonstrated in the creation of social norms.

      If one were asked to provide a few examples of racists and racists acts just ten years ago, the answers would be very different then the answers given today. Ten years ago, one might say that a KKK member is an example of a racist, and stating that Japanese Americans should “go back where they came from” would be considered an act of racism. Today, one might say that Ellen DeGeneres is an example of a racist and having yourself photoshopped getting a piggyback ride from the fastest man in the world (who happens to be black), is an act of racism. This change is due to changing social norms.

      Uncomfortable Idea: Racism, sexism, and bigotry are evaluations based on social norms. America is becoming more racist, sexist, and bigoted not because of changing behavior, but because of changing social norms and perception.

Defined within social psychology, racism requires the belief in the superiority of one’s own race.¹⁴ Today, however, through years of incremental and mostly unconscious processes, the definition of racism has been redefined (in the minds of the public) to include unconscious preferences for people who look like us¹⁵ (academically known as implicit bias), criticism of any person of color despite the criticism being unrelated to their race, agreeing with racists on non-racist issues, eating a taco on Cinco De