Walking Behind Schizophrenic Eyes. Perry Ritthaler

or war took place. Much like the people in charge understood what stocks to buy prior to the 911 attacks create by others in the world; long before I entered the picture.

      Wall Street and Allan Greenspan loved the way I mixed and blended companies and science. During my work I watched the stock market soar. The DOW Jones industrial average went from sixty five hundred to ninety seven hundred.

      My propaganda movies became the government’s worst headache; when I was not paid any money; I made copies of every propaganda movie I made. The copies of my work are my only link to the government; and I have hidden seven cd copies on the island where I live. Sometimes I secretly hide a cd when I am riding around on my bicycle.

      When I wanted to hide a cd; I suddenly turn off the road into the bush and make it look like I am really looking at something. Some of my best research work empowering the Bush Administration is buried on Siesta Key in Florida.

      A digital cd has a one hundred-year life span; and I am a hard guy to follow on a bicycle. In the past month I feel like I have turned into the perfect spy. I have never been caught hiding one of my cd copies.

      Sean has agreed to help me buy a bus ticket to Texas. I am going to leave everything I own behind with Sean; and go to see my friend Sarge in Texas. Then I will ride a bus home to my mom and dad’s in Canada.

      My last two days in Florida feel painful and are very hard on me. This morning I awoke to the sound of many big black vulture birds in the front yard. The birds sounded strange to me.

      I stood up in my bed on the floor; and when I looked out the window I could tell the government was angry with me for leaving Florida in the middle of the Enron crisis.

      I can see five big ugly black vultures tearing a small cat apart on the grass. The black birds are tearing different parts of the cat; the big birds are eating the cat alive.

      I know the government is trying to psychologically torment me because they know I love cats.

      The government is telling me my cat is next and they are the birds.

      Besides I told the government people in my television; “who would ever believe I was the one helping them solve the finacial crisis and security crisis after the 911 attack”.

      I felt the pain in my heart watching the cat’s submission to death in the yard; and I know I am walking down a similar path.

      I am almost out of cash; I am still trying to work with the government. I am starting to realize how powerful the government is and every day I feel more afraid of the government.

      My government code name is the Northern Alliance; and I have chosen this name because I am from the north and I create strategies to help the rebels in Afghanistan align while they fight the Taleban.

      I find the maps of Afghanistan region on television very useful to see; and I am slowly getting used to how the Don Rumsfeld and the people in the government he controls.

      I hold my cat every chance I get; and every time I do tears fall down my face. I have tears in my eyes when I ask my landlady if she will adopt my cat; when I have to leave; and then I start to cry while I am holding my cat. I am speaking to my landlady; Ginger is a nice lady and she agreed to be my cat’s new family.

      I am going to miss my old brown cat.

      I hold my cat often and I cry like a baby being pulled away from its mother. My cat has been my companion for two happy years on the island. I cuddled my cat every hour; and I think he knows that I am going crazy. He watches me talk out loud to the television when I talk to the voices trapped deep inside my mind.

      I may be only one man; however I have a large footprint; and when I leave if others fail to fill my footprint properly Enron will fall.

      I miss being held by Kathy; she is my girlfriend; and I hurt inside my heart every time I think of not being with Kathy. My heart feels like it is tortured internally by my brain breaking into a thousand pieces.

      I try not to show my emotions because I do not want the government to get that much satisfaction. The government has tried to break me psychologically; and when I look at my reflection in the mirror I think they have succeeded.

      My mind feels like a broken crystal glass thrown onto a grey concrete floor. I am afraid the government is going to build a legal case against me and brain farm me locked away in a dungeon.

      I think the government will want to put me on trial for the Enron scandal if it falls. I know that the government is trying to frame me for a crime I did not physically touch to commit. I think framing me for a crime is the only way the government can hold me in Florida; unless they believe I am insane; and then who wants to be around crazy people.

      The last ten weeks have been very hard on me; and I no longer want to listen to the voices in my head telling me to work longer hours for the government.

      In the beginning I wanted be like Napoleon Hill in nineteen forties; when he lived in the basement of the White House. I have quietly trained myself for years waiting for the opportunity to recreate history emulating how Napoleon Hill advised the generals and President on how to invade countries and build economies; and in doing so personally help orchestrate control of huge parts of the world.

      I want to leave the covert spy job behind me in Florida. I am sure the government led by a jealous Dick Cheney has replaced me with one of their own people like Mr. Rove.

      Besides government agents did not smoke marijuana all the time like me. Like I spoke out loud many times; “who would ever believe a pot head is helping the President run the USA”?

      I feel psychologically triggered by pressure of shadow running the country; deep inside my brain; and this massive pressure is constantly pushing me to the edge of my abilities in my brain.

      I have to get out of Florida and away from the government covert manipulations. I am speaking to Sean and he agreed to pack some of my belongings into a storage locker when I leave Florida.

      Sean tried to talk me into staying at his house; and I declined Sean’s invitation because I know the government has bugged Sean’s home. I am too afraid of the government C.I.A knock program that never pays cash for my services.

      I hear the doorbell ring and I answer the door for Sean.

      I look up and I can see Kathy has tracked me down; and when Kathy looked at me; she had love in her eyes.

      I stepped outside of the house; and into Kathy’s open arms.

      I have shot my mouth off too often pointing out the security failures of the country; and now my mind is at war with the military hawks and Secret Service and C.I.A knock program; and Dick Cheney’s special team of the NSA.

      Suddenly I remembered all of the love that Kathy and I have shared together. Kathy’s familiar perfume smells so good to me.

      I tell Kathy that this is my last night in Florida.

      Kathy grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. Kathy asked me; what is wrong with you; why are you leaving me?

      I pulled Kathy closer into my arms as tears rolled down my face. I told Kathy that she would not understand; I could see Kathy is trying to be patient with me.

      Kathy and I went for a walk around the block with heavy hearts; and tears rolling down our faces.

      My heart was overflowing with lost love. I kept holding Kathy’s hand while I pulled her firm body closer to mine. We would stop from time to time gazing into each other’s eyes; and then look at the brilliant stars that cascade across the universe.

      I am deeply in love with Kathy; and I am afraid the government will hurt her if I do not obey the voices sent to me through digital software signals in my head.

      I wish I never got involved with the government because the President feels like a brother I never