Agape and Hesed-Ahava. David L. Goicoechea

      My continued study of grammar helped me with reading and

      listening so that if I heard any incorrect grammar I would

      silently notice it unless it were from my brothers whom I corrected.

      In certain classes such as English we would be called upon

      to read out loud and being able at once to spot sentence structure

      with its phrases and clauses helped me to be a good reader.

      Constantly working with grammar gave me a familiarity with

      language and that familiarity became an affection for speaking,

      which encouraged me to always speak with affection to all,

      as Father Ambrose and the other monks would always speak to us.

      Before Father Ambrose became a monk his name was Joseph Zenner.

      Perhaps he chose the name Ambrose partially because of the way

      Ambrose helped Augustine not only by teaching him about the

      four senses of Scripture—the literal, moral, mystical, and typological—

      but also advised Monica that a child of so many prayers and tears

      would never perish and thus helped Augustine become celibate.

      Father Ambrose was a great rhetorician and as a public

      speaker he had a sense of presence plus a well-argued

      message that enabled him to be a truly inspiring teacher.

      If we think back to Plato’s Phaedrus at 245c and following

      and that first great example of erotic sublimation it seems that

      the power of Father Ambrose’s creative speaking and writing

      fits right in with that creative enthusiasm and divine madness.

      I,3.4 Nourishing Agapeic Friendship with Logic

      Father Gerard Marx went out to Notre Dame and studied

      symbolic logic with Bochenski and in our sixth year

      we had a great time learning traditional logic and mathematical

      logic in the notation of Whitehead and Russell and the Polish logicians.

      But, of course, from year one on we were always learning the logic

      of practical consequences for if I did not confess my sexual sins

      then my conscience would harden and not grow in sensitivity.

      In our third year a happy-go-lucky Irishman Father Brendan

      was teaching us religion and Pat Carney from Boise, Idaho knew him.

      As a joke we hid a pillow under each of our desks and as he

      was lecturing we pulled them out and put our heads on them as if

      we were going to sleep and Father Brendan sent us to Father Ambrose.

      Father Ambrose got a laugh out of it but said that we were being

      insulting to Father Brendan by suggesting that he was boring.

      Father Ambrose told us that for our penance we should each write

      a thousand-word paper and Father Brendan would correct them.

      The title of mine was “My Last Night with a Renegade” and

      when Father Ambrose read the title he got a great belly laugh but

      really it was only about fishing with my dad and using renegade flies.

      So by our third year we clearly saw that any unkindness and

      lack of friendliness would have its consequences and we

      were learning from the Benedictine community that any act

      of friendly agape would have its logical consequences for now

      and for the future and that acts of love built the kingdom of love.

      As we grew in experience we learned more and more about the logic

      of opposites for there could be exclusive, inclusive, dialectical,

      and mixed opposites and we were always told about loving enemies.

      We were told that even a terrible criminal would have much good

      within him and that we should reach out in loving prayer to enemies.

      In the seminary we came to see the transcendental logic that any being

      is beautiful, good, true, and therefore worthy of affirmative love.

      I,3.5 Nourishing Agape with the Quadrivium

      In the seminary the spiritual life and the intellectual life fit

      together and promoted each other in natural Benedictine harmony.

      We learned about the Dark Ages after the fall of the Roman Empire

      and we came to see how the only light burning was in the monasteries.

      The Benedictines always taught the Trivium with its grammar,

      rhetoric, and logic, and the Quadrivium with its mathematics,

      music, science, and history, and we were constantly trained in both.

      After algebra in my third year all my grades were in the 90s,

      except for trigonometry in which I received a final grade of 83.

      I do not understand why but I always had a difficult time in math.

      One time in our first year Father Method had me up at the board

      working on an algebra problem in front of the rest of the class.

      He kept asking me this and asking me that and I just wasn’t getting it.

      Finally, I slammed the chalk into the board and started working out

      the answer and he said, “Good, Goicoechea, get mad, maybe you

      will wake up and see that this isn’t so difficult after all.”

      I did get angry quite easily but did it really wake me up and

      did sexuality also awaken me from some lack of passionate energy?

      Father David was the Gregorian Chant Master for the Monastery

      and the teacher of chant to the seminarians and I did learn

      to sing but I never made the choir, for others sang far better.

      Science was also greatly appreciated by the monks and after

      general science in year one with Father Anthony we then had

      chemistry and a wonderful full year biology course with Father Mark.

      We learned about the scientific method and did many experiments.

      But most of all I really liked history and we learned Roman

      History when we studied Latin and the history of music and

      also of science as we learned of Mendel, Copernicus, and Galileo.

      All of this learning was a way of more deeply loving all of being

      with an agape that appreciated more and more all of nature.

      I,3.6 Nourishing Agapeic Affection with Mathematics

      No matter what the monks taught us they did it with that

      universalized affection for which their celibate lives prepared

      them so that they truly were fathers to us their adopted sons.

      My father as a professional gambler