Poor Students, Rich Teaching. Eric Jensen

build relationships! Daily, ask yourself powerful questions such as, “When other teachers successfully build quality relationships, how do they do it?” “In what ways can I connect with students that will make a difference for them?” and “How can I help students feel more safe, respected, and connected?”

       A Look Ahead

      The next three chapters offer the following strategies to help you build relationships with your students that will get them onboard emotionally and socially.

      1. Personalize the learning.

      2. Connect everyone for success.

      3. Show empathy.

      In these chapters, you’ll see how relationships offer the emotional environment through which all course content flows. There is no classroom content without some sort of context, even if the context is a digital device. Let’s dig in.

      CHAPTER 1

       PERSONALIZE THE LEARNING

      In a large, noisy crowd, what’s the one word (besides “Fire!”) that gets your attention? It’s your own name. We perk up and listen when we hear our name because we have been conditioned, over a lifetime, to respond to something directed to us, at us, and about us. Personalization in your classroom works because our brain cares about our identity (Eichenlaub, Ruby, & Morlet, 2012). In short, your kids do not want a new pair of shoes; they want shoes that fit them. This is a way to frame equity from the conversation to action steps.

      This chapter is all about fostering teacher-student relationships by creating a culture of personalization. To get personal in this context means connecting in a personal way so that your teaching gets students to perk up and pay attention to that which is relevant: themselves. In this chapter, you will engage with the following four strategies.

      • Learn students’ names.

      • Create a Me Bag.

      • Share an everyday problem.

      • Share progress on goals.

      This is a powerful chapter, and it lays the groundwork that makes the other mindsets in this book effective; as you read it, reflect on what you already do. Maybe it will also inspire you to add something new.

      Learn Students’ Names

      To create a culture of personalization starting on day one, learn every student’s name. You don’t need to be a memory champ to do this. You just need to care and take the time to set up the learning process, then practice, just like the students in your class. When you use a student’s name, be sure to smile and make eye contact. Many times, a simple handshake or other appropriate connection will show a lot to your students (you care).

      There are many smart ways to remember names and faces. First, put your brain in a curious state. Say to yourself, “OK, what is this student’s name? Is it ___________?” That primes the brain to care and to listen better. Then, when you hear the name, use it! Use it under different circumstances such as standing, sitting, when giving a compliment, or standing at the door. Here are some strategies for learning names.

      • Introductions: At the start of the school year, have students say their first names every time they speak. Do this for the first thirty class days (if you have thirty students, or twenty days if you have twenty students).

      • Desk nametags: Have students create desk nametags from single index cards or cardstock (fold the paper in half horizontally). Have a box for each class of nametags and ask students to pick them up and return them to the box each period. The hard (but good) part is after two weeks, you pick out each name and try to place it on the right student’s desk.

      • Checks: When students are writing, ask yourself quietly, “What’s his or her name?” Try to answer it first, then walk over, and check out your answer by looking at the student’s name on a paper or asking.

      • Self quizzes: As students enter the class, greet them by name, or ask them to give you a prompt or cue to trigger their name. Tell students they can’t enter your classroom until you say their names correctly. Then, use their names as you make eye contact and give a compliment. (“Eric, good to see you today.”)

      • Returns: When you return papers or assignments in the first three to four weeks, use names as you give the paper back to the student (“Loved your perfect spelling, Kenisha”).

      • Interviews: Give students two to three minutes in pairs to interview each other and discover something that no one can forget. Each pair stands, then asks students to introduce each other, allowing about one minute per pair.

      Ensuring students know each other’s names is also a useful way to build relationships between peers, because strong social glue builds valuable respect, familiarity, and trust. That can break down barriers and reduce cliques in class.

      These memory tools will build the confidence and social glue to foster cognitive capacity (for attention, short-, and long-term memory). Additionally, during group work, invite students to always address each other by name. When students pair up with a new partner, ask them to introduce themselves to others with eye contact, a greeting, and a handshake.

      Create a Me Bag

      Another way to build a culture of personalization is to use variations of the Me Bag activity during the first week of school. This is a great activity for all K–12 students because most students want to know some personal things about their teacher. First, you’ll model the process for your own students. Start with a paper bag that has small objects or items you collect about yourself: photos, receipts, ticket stubs, a favorite snack, keys, or mementos that help tell a story about yourself. Share those objects and stories in about seven to ten minutes.

      If you teach at the secondary level, and you think it’s still a bit weird to use this activity with older students, consider that Leslie Ross (2012), a secondary teacher at a high-poverty school in Greensboro, North Carolina, defies tradition and uses the Me Bag activity with all her ninth-grade students (versus using it for only lower elementary). She typically gets among the highest test scores in the district.

      I find that the Me Bag activity breaks down walls, especially with teens who think, “No one understands me except my friends.” When adolescents find out that others have had a pretty rough life, or at least major obstacles to overcome, they soften and barriers come down. Share something good, bad, and maybe silly (or embarrassing) that happened to you.

      Ultimately, it’s about being real; students need and appreciate your honesty and genuineness.

      Share an Everyday Problem

      In the preface of this book, I shared my own early life story. I did not do this to engender sympathy or blame; the story is just a part of my early life. In fact, I am often hesitant to share it because I am afraid of how people will receive it. Will someone think I’m a jerk or desperate for attention? I don’t know. But I do know that when I talk about adversity, it seems to allow others permission to share their story too, and that makes it worth sharing.

      Whether you want to be a role model or not, you are a role model. Give students what they need so badly—a real-world model of how to live as an adult. You can think of this as a way to extend the work you began with the Me Bag activity. That means about once a week, share a piece of your world, something that presents a challenge or problem that you had, maybe something you experienced over the weekend. A short, three-minute slice of a teacher’s life can do wonders for fostering the relational mindset.

      Your story gives students a tiny window into your adult world, especially when you can turn it into a learning opportunity for them to learn to solve real-world problems, which is often something you can connect directly to the learning topic you intend to cover in your lesson. After you present your story, give students a minute to brainstorm how they would approach it. Then, call on students to give their thoughts, and don’t judge their answers. Keep a modest, positive spirit,