Asylum Earth. Charles Bragg

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      THE PAINTINGS

      Ship of Fools, oil on canvas, jacket: Collection of Robert and Beverly Cohen, Newport Beach, California

      The Thinker, oil on canvas, page 3: Private Collection

      The Fifth Day, oil on canvas, page 6: Private Collection

      The Devil's Work, oil on canvas, pages 14-15 Collection of the Artist

      Francis of Azusa, oil on canvas, page 19: Private Collection

      Garden of Eden, oil on canvas, page 21: Private Collection

      Graphite drawing, page 31: Collection of the Artist

      The Observer, oil on wood panel, page 71: Private Collection

      Waldo the Warthog, oil on panel, page 115: Collection of the Artist

      Janus, oil on panel, page 119: Private Collection

      The Procession, oil on canvas, page 126: Collection of the Artist

      Thermo, graphite and watercolor, page 129: Collection of the Artist

      The Liberator, oil on canvas, page 155: Private Collection

      Great White Hunter, oil on canvas, page 166: Private Collection

      Rover and Grover, oil on canvas, page 169: Private Collection

      In the Beginning, oil on canvas, pages 202-203: Private Collection

      Glasnost, oil on canvas, pages 222-223: Private Collection

      Art Heaven, oil on canvas, page 233: Collection of Ben and Sue King, Washington, D.C.

      In the Beginning There Were Mistakes, oil on canvas, page 238: Private Collection

      Rembrandt and Model, oil on canvas, page 241: Collection of John P. Axelrod, Boston, Massachusetts

      Blue, Period! oil on canvas, page 246: Collecion of the Artist

      CHARLES BRAGG

      Published in 1994 by

       JOURNEY EDITIONS

       153 Milk Street

       Boston, Massachusetts, 02109

      © 1994 Charles Bragg

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from Journey Editions.

      Asylum Earth is a work of satire. Outrageous acts and statements are attributed to public personages, both living and dead, for purposes of social commentary and are not to be taken as statements of fact.

      LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

      Bragg, Charles.

       Asylum earth / by Charles Bragg.

       p. cm.

       1. American wit and humor, Pictorial. I. Title.

      NC1429.B733A4 1994

      741.5'973--dc20

      94-29431

       CIP

      ISBN: 978-1-4629-1131-8 (ebook)

       Text design by Cynthia Patterson

       Jacket design by Kathryn Sky-Peck

      First Edition

       1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

      Printed in Canada by OW Friesen & Sons

      BEAUTY IS FLEETING, BULLSHIT IS FOREVER

      WELCOME TO ASYLUM EARTH

      The first art sale I ever witnessed was in 1946. What amazed me, aside from the fact that one could actualy sell one's creative work, was that the sale was made by my teenage friend, Charles Bragg.

      The transaction took place at the Burnside Billiard Academy, Bronx, New York. No money changed hands. In return for eight humorous drawings of various patrons frequenting the establishment, Charles received free pool time. The drawings were framed and hung right at the entrance. Every day we stopped to admire them as we went to shoot pool.

      I relate the above not to tell you of our misspent youth, but to illustrate that Charles Bragg always had an eye for seeing the ridiculous in anything from the local poolroom, our high school, law, religion, the military, to sex and life in general.

      Forty-eight years later, his satirical etchings and paintings hang in major museums and are sought-after and collected throughout the world. Few people realize that the scathing observations, the hilarious insights, and the irreverent humor coming out of Charles' brushes and etching tools also pours out of his writing. His words, put on paper, have almost never been read by anyone other than his close friends. Through the years, Charles has sent me sketches, one-liners, poems, short stories and long stories. "You've got to get this stuff published!" I used to shout through the guffaws and tears of laughter as I read the various pieces.

      At last it has happened.

      I read somewhere that laughter adds years to one's life. If that is true, then Charles has lengthened my life considerably. Now, it's your turn. If you don't chuckle or laugh out loud at some of these stories, sketches, and one-liners, you have absolutely no sense of humor. Not to worry. I'm sure Charles is working on a story, etching, or painting to cover that very situation even as you read this.

      He'll get around to you sooner or later.

      —GENE LIGHT

      I THINK, THEREFORE I AM .

      THE COVENANT

      IAM THAT I AM!" the Burning Bush said to Moses ."No, no. You are what you eat," said Moses. "I believe that's the way it goes."

      "Fool!! Do you know who I am? "

      "Yes. You just told me. You are who you are.""No! I am THAT I am. That! That! ... I AM THAT I AM ."

      "You is what you is? That doesn't sound right to me."

      "Oaf! Why would I make a covenant with such as thee?"

      "Well, that's a two way street, you know. Why would I make a covenant with a bush ... and a bush that can't even talk good English? Think about it. "

      "Have you ever had a plague of locusts, boils, droughts, floods , and fire descend on you? Think about THAT you moron! "

      "Well, you don't have to get so high and mighty."

      "I AM high and mighty, you dickhead! Don't you get

      "That's