A Smart Girl's Guide: Boys (Revised). Nancy Holyoke

you play the guitar?

      Read fantasy novels?

      Snowboard?

      Kick a mean goal kick?

      Maybe he does, too. Ask some questions,

      and see what you share.

      For that matter, if you’re looking for a boy

      to be friends with, your own activities are

      a great place to start. Doing something

      fun together is the best way of getting

      to know anybody—girl or boy. It’s just

      a whole lot easier to feel relaxed with

      a person if you’re both swept up in

      shooting baskets or playing table

      tennis or practicing your lines for the

      class play—not just staring at each

      other trying to think of what to say.

      conversation starters

      Things to say when you’re staring at a boy trying to think of what to say:

      Ask about his activities. It’s friendly and gets him talking.

      Schoolwork: a subject about which there is always something to say.

      Jokes get a smile and invite a comeback. And making fun of yourself shows

      you’re relaxed and approachable.

      It can be fun to rehash the great parts from a movie or TV show.

      If you’re not sure about a homework assignment, you’ve got to ask somebody.

      Might as well be him.

      what boys want

      The guy I like is not popular or cute, but the thing is, he’s nice.

      And he’s fun. He’s also cool. I’m not sure he likes me. I have not

      tried to change myself, but I wonder if I should.

      Crush crazy

      You’ll know you have a crush on a boy if being near him feels a little like

      the flu.

      hot,

      blushing

      face

      all

      woozy

      inside

      sweaty

      palms

      How do you get him to notice you? Well, you could . . .

      take up skydiving.

      flirt till you drop.

      lie down in front of him in the hallway.

      dress like a pop star.

      put a photo of yourself in his ham sandwich.

      But, as any boy would tell you, it shouldn’t require that much effort.

      What do boys look for in a girl? Glad you asked:

      Someone who is attractive, funny, and nice. She has to not drag

      me into malls.

       Joey, age 13

      A good personality and a good sense of humor. Someone who is

      nice and can make me laugh.

       Andrew, age 12

      A girl who’s willing to go places, who’s not scared to talk to me.

       Grant, age 13

      Someone who’s willing to be there for me when I’m in need.

      James, age 12

      Smart, cute, fun to be around. Happy and talented.

      Aaron, age 13

      Someone who likes me for me, and doesn’t care what I look like.

      Adam, age 13

      I appreciate it when girls are themselves, when they don’t

      act all phony and stuff.

      Connor, age 12

      So before you buy a bucket of makeup or change your name or dump old

      friends for new, hoping to attract that special boy, ask yourself this: “Is this

      going to make me happier to be me?”

      Unless the answer is yes, don’t do it.

      should you tell him

      you like him?

      Feelings fear

      I really, really, really like this boy in my class, but I’m afraid

      to tell him that I like him. I’m afraid he’ll say something like

      “Gross!” or tell his friends and have everyone laughing at me.

      Boy Crazy in Illinois

      For some girls, having a crush is a private thing. They’re not ready to go public

      with how they feel.

      Other girls would like the boy to know, if they weren’t afraid of one little

      thing:

      rejection

      z

      Everybody worries about it, boys and girls both. Nobody wants to get hurt.

      Nobody wants to be embarrassed. Nobody wants to find out that the person

      she’s had a crush on doesn’t feel the same way about her. It’s always a gamble,

      letting a boy know you like him. But you can cut your risk a lot if you take

      some time to read a boy’s signs before you speak up.

      what’s he thinking?

      Most boys will give some pretty obvious signals about how they feel by the

      way they behave.

      Funny looks

      I really like this one guy. Just about every time he sees me,

       he gives me this long (not mean) stare. Is this good or bad?

      Sight or Fright

      Staring could be good. It could also mean your shirt tag is hanging out. Find

       an excuse to talk to him: make a remark about your classwork or the Hawaiian

       Surprise pizza in the lunchroom. See what happens. Maybe he’ll grunt and

       turn away. Maybe he’ll grin and blush and tell you what he did with his pizza

       after he scraped off the pineapple. Either way, you’ll have your answer.

      Wise guy

      There’s this