A Smart Girl's Guide: Worry. Nancy Holyoke

what to do.

      Things feel less safe.

      Weather disasters, wars in distant countries, unsafe schools.

      Bad news can be worrisome even for adults. For kids who

      are just beginning to pay attention, it may be plain scary.

      What kind of world are you stepping into anyway?

      There are always problems.

      Of course, there are plenty of things closer to home that a

      girl might have good reason to worry about, too. One girl may

      have a loved one who’s sick. Another may be anxious about

      arguments in the family. Money problems. Marriage problems.

      It’s a lucky girl who doesn’t have at least some family concerns

      on her list. And as if that weren’t enough . . .

      Worry can be contagious.

      If adults or others around her tend to worry about things,

      a girl can pick up the worry habit. A girl whose aunt shrinks

      from meeting new people, or whose dad is too frightened to

      fly on airplanes, might learn to be anxious—not only about

      those specific things but about other things, too.

      Add it up.

      A day has only 24 hours, but for a lot of

      girls that means a bajillion opportunities

      to worry about something.

when you worry

      Anxiety is normal. It’s your brain and body’s built-in alarm system,

      and it has only one job: to protect you. Back when humans wore

      animal hides and lived in caves, this alarm system helped your

      ancestors escape from hungry animals.

      When something sets off the alarm, anxiety gets you ready to . . .

      fight

      back

      or

      freeze so

      you won’t

      be noticed

      or

      run

      away.

      To do this, anxiety affects you in three ways: your thoughts, your

      feelings, and your actions.

      1. Anxiety focuses

       your thoughts on

      the danger. I’ve got to get

      away! Suddenly, you can’t

      think of anything else. Not.

       One. Single. Other. Thing.

      2. Anxiety

      revs up your

      body and changes

      how you feel. Your

      heart beats faster and

      your muscles tense up.

      Is your skin sweaty? Is your

      stomach tied in knots? Do

      your legs feel like rubber

      bands? That’s anxiety

      at work, too.

      3. Anxiety can affect

      what you do in an instant.

      A heartbeat ago, you were

      strolling through the woods,

      humming along to your

      favorite song. And

      now you are . . .

      running like crazy!

      r

      run

      n

      i

      ng

      like

      cra

      zy

      !

      The anxiety alarm can still kick in even if you’re not fleeing wild animals.

      An ordinary thing like a visit to the dentist can set it off if you’re worried

      enough. And the science test Mr. Baake is giving—the one that counts

      for a third of your grade? Or the party that your karate teammate is

      throwing—where you’re sure you won’t know a soul? Those could trip

      the alarm, too.

      Anxiety is your own personal bodyguard. It rallies to keep you safe

      from anything that’s scary to you.

go, fight, win!

      No girl likes the way she feels

      when she’s worried or afraid.

      But anxiety isn’t all bad.

      When worry focuses your

      thoughts, it can help you zero in

      on anything that’s really important

      at home or school. When it revs

      up your body, it can give you a

      burst of energy.

      The good thing about worry is

      that it can push you to do what

      needs to get done.

      Get busy!

      Stay focused!

      Do your best!

      So when you’re worried, maybe you can put those feelings

      to use. Try asking yourself: “What, exactly, is nagging at me?

      Is there something I can do about it?”

      If you feel like you ate a bowl of butterflies two days before

      the Spanish vocabulary quiz, that feeling might be telling

      you to put away your MP3 player and get out the flash cards.

      That headache you get whenever you think about your piano

      recital or a swim meet might be reminding you to practice a

      little more, try a little harder.

      If there’s something you can do about what’s worrying you,

      the surest cure is to just do it. Now. If worry can get you

      going, it’s on your side.

out of control

      The problem comes when worry spins out of

      control. Here’s how it works: Our thoughts create

      our feelings. Then our feelings lead to actions,

      and those actions create more thoughts. It’s a

      loop. In stressful times, anxiety can take hold and

      build on itself till it takes on a life all its own.

      W

      ha