The Book Of Lists. David Wallechinsky

by a sentry. Unfortunately, he had forgotten the day’s password. Fortunately, the sentry recognised his nose. ‘God bless your crooked nose, sir,’ the soldier is said to have remarked. ‘I would rather see it than 10,000 men.’

      9 KATE ELDER, alias FISHER (American brothel owner, 1870s) Elder was famous in the Wild West as ‘Big Nose’ Kate. Her nose was of the bulbous variety. She ran a house of ill repute in Dodge City, Kansas, and was the mistress of bad man Doc Holliday. Once when Holliday, in an argument over a poker hand, slit his opponent’s throat and was about to be arrested, ‘Big Nose’ Kate set the livery stable afire, creating a distraction that allowed her lover to escape.

      10 MEHMET OZYUREK (Long Nose Contest Winner) Ozyurek is the only two-time winner of the Longest Nose competition in Rise, Turkey. Proudly displaying his 3½-inch nose, he won the inaugural contest in 1997 and then regained the title in 2000.

      – I.W. & J.Be.

      10 Meetings Between Famous

       People and People Not Yet Famous

      1 NEW YORK, CITY, 1789. GEORGE WASHINGTON IS INTRODUCED TO WASHINGTON IRVING As the President browsed in a Broadway shop, a servant of the Irving family spotted him from the street and hustled inside with six-year-old Washington Irving in tow. Informed that the lad had been named after him, the Chief Executive stroked the head that later would conjure up Rip Van Winkle and wished the boy well. Note: This pat on the head has been passed on through generations of Americans to the present-day recipient. An older Washington Irving bestowed it upon his publisher, George Putnam, who in turn gave it to young Allan Nevins, the future Pulitzer Prize-winning historian. Years later, at an informal gathering at the Irving Wallace home, Nevins conferred the historic pat on 10-year-old Amy Wallace saying, ‘Amy, I pat you on behalf of General George Washington.’ Amy refused to wash her hair for a week afterwards. As The Book of Lists was going to print, she bestowed the historic pat upon baby Daniel, son of the owners of Clementines, one of Los Angeles’ most popular restaurants.

      2 LONDON, 1836. ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING ATTENDS A DINNER FOR WILLIAM WORDSWORTH Elizabeth Barrett, not yet either married to Robert Browning or very well-known, was a great admirer of Wordsworth. John Kenyon, a friend of the Barrett family, arranged for Elizabeth to attend a dinner in the poet’s honour. Although she was nervous (she said that she trembled ‘in my soul and my body’) about being seated next to Wordsworth, he was kind and even recited one of Dante’s sonnets for her entertainment. Eight years later, Barrett paid tribute to Wordsworth by mentioning him in ‘Lady Geraldine’s Courtship’.

      3 ÉTRETAT, FRANCE, 1868. ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE MEETS GUY DE MAUPASSANT The 18-year-old Maupassant, later one of France’s greatest writers, witnessed the near-drowning of a swimmer who turned out to be the eccentric English poet Swinburne. (According to some versions of the incident, including Maupassant’s own, he was actually in on the rescue, but this is disputed by more objective accounts.) When Maupassant introduced himself, the poet invited him to dinner at his villa. Swinburne’s guest was shocked by the main dish – roast monkey – and the presence of a large ape, which pushed the young Frenchman’s head aside whenever he tried to drink.

      4 LEGHORN, ITALY, 1897. ENRICO CARUSO SINGS FOR GIACOMO PUCCINI Near the beginning of his career, Caruso was hired by Arturo Lisciarelli to star as Rudolfo in a production of Puccini’s La Boheme. Lisciarelli took advantage of Caruso’s eagerness to sing the part by booking him for a mere 15 lire per performance, but added, rather vaguely, that the fee would be increased to 1,000 lire if Puccini liked him. When Caruso found out that Puccini lived nearby, he made a 25-mile trip to see the composer at his villa. After Caruso sang several measures, Puccini exclaimed, ‘Who sent you? God?’ Despite the composer’s praises, Lisciarelli held Caruso to the original terms of his contract.

      5 NEW YORK, NEW YORK, 1910. SARAH BERNHARDT MEETS LILLIAN GISH IN THE WINGS Before going west to become a star in D.W. Griffith’s epic films, Miss Gish landed a dancing role in Sarah Bernhardt’s show. As they waited together in the wings for the opening curtain, the Divine Sarah stroked the young girl’s delicate curls admiringly and uttered something to her in French, a language Miss Gish had never before heard.

      6 NEW YORK CITY, c.1945. NANCY REAGAN DATES CLARK GABLE Gable dated the future first lady – then known as Nancy Davis and an aspiring actress – on three occasions during a visit to New York. Although gossip columnists speculated about a possible marriage, the relationship never was particularly romantic. Gable simply enjoyed seeing the town with Nancy and making her laugh, while she hero-worshipped Gable and wondered how long it would last. Once when they attended a party, she was convinced that Gable would leave her the moment a more glamorous woman appeared. When he stayed, it gave her self-confidence a great boost.

      7 NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT, 1948. GEORGE BUSH MEETS BABE RUTH Ruth was in New Haven to donate a signed manuscript of The Babe Ruth Story to the Yale library. Ruth presented the book to the captain of the Yale baseball team, first baseman George Bush. Later that day, with the Sultan of Swat watching from the stands, the future US president went two-for-four and led Yale to a 14–2 blowout over Princeton.

      8 GAINESVILLE, FLORIDA, 1962. TOM PETTY MEETS ELVIS PRESLEY When future rock star Petty was 11 years old, Elvis arrived in his hometown to shoot scenes for the movie Follow That Dream. Since his uncle was involved with making the film, Petty was able to visit the set and meet the king of rock and roll. Petty remembered, ‘He didn’t have much to say to us, but for a kid at an impressionable age, he was an incredible sight.’ Straightaway, Petty traded his slingshot for a friend’s collection of Elvis records.

      9 WASHINGTON, DC, 1963. BILL CLINTON SHAKES HANDS WITH JOHN F. KENNEDY In the summer of 1963, Clinton was named one of the delegates to Boys Nation, an American Legion program in which a select group of high school juniors travelled to Washington to watch national politics in action. The highlight of the trip was the delegates’ visit to the White House, where a gangly, crew-cut Clinton briefly shook hands with President Kennedy. The moment was recorded for posterity (and future Clinton campaigns) in a photo and on film. When Clinton returned home to Arkansas, he was set on a political career. His mother, Virginia Kelley, remembered, ‘I’d never seen him so excited about something. When he came back from Washington, holding this picture of himself with Jack Kennedy, and the expression on his face – I just knew that politics was the answer for him.’

      10 CHELTENHAM, ENGLAND, LITERARY FESTIVAL, 1963. JOHN FOWLES MEETS IRIS MURDOCH When bestselling author John Fowles was on the verge of success, but not yet famous, he was a panellist at the Cheltenham Festival. He was prepared to attack the famous authoress Iris Murdoch, but instead found her ‘a gentle creature with a good mind’. Mrs Fowles felt Murdoch ignored them. Years later, when Fowles’ fame was enormous, Murdoch invited the Fowleses to lunch. He recorded the following exchange in his diary: I.M.: Are you religious? J.F.: Not at all … I.M.: Nor am I. J.F.: in the normal sense of the word. I.M.: Ah. (long Pinter-like silence, contemplation of the lawn outside.) I expect you have a nice intellectual circle at Lyme Regis? [The extremely remote country area where Fowles lived.] J.F.: Are you mad?

      – W.A.D. & C.F.

      17 Famous People Who Were Expelled from School

      1 TORI AMOS (1963–), SINGER AND SONGWRITER At the age of five, Amos was the youngest person accepted to the Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, Maryland. Six years later, she was expelled for refusing to read sheet music. The experience inspired the title of her first album, Y Kant Tori Read?

      2 JOHN BARRYMORE (1882–1942), ACTOR American actor John Barrymore was 16 when he was expelled from Georgetown Academy in Washington, DC. A faculty member recognised him, in the company of several other young men, entering a bordello where they had gone to celebrate Washington’s Birthday. The next day, when asked to name the other men, Barrymore refused and was expelled.

      3 HUMPHREY BOGART (1899–1957), ACTOR The son of a successful physician with inherited wealth, young Bogart was sent to Phillips Academy of Andover, Massachusetts, and after a year was thrown out for ‘irreverence’ and ‘uncontrollable high spirits’. Since attending Yale was suddenly out of the question,