The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf. Martin Millar

      “I’ve lost my ticket,” said Beauty.

      “So have I,” added Delicious.

      “You never had your tickets,” said Dominil. “I have them.”

      They showed their tickets to the young woman at the door and entered the cinema.

      “The previews are on already,” said Beauty, as they walked down the aisle.

      “Previews!” cried Vex. “I love previews!”

      Vex had never been to the cinema before, so how she could love previews was a mystery. Moonglow and Dominil guided everyone to a row in the middle of the cinema. Before taking their seats, Vex looked around, and waved to some people in the next row.

      “It’s my birthday,” she shouted. She pointed to Kalix. “It’s her birthday too.”

      “Stop embarrassing me,” hissed Kalix.

      Vex waved cheerfully to several other people before taking her seat. After a few moments she turned to Kalix. “Is this the film now?”

      “No, it’s an advert.”

      “I hate adverts,” said Vex.

      There was a brief commotion as Beauty dropped a large bucket of popcorn on the floor and then scrambled to retrieve it. Delicious collapsed with laughter at the sight, and Beauty started laughing too, still scrambling on the floor. Moonglow had never seen Dominil look embarrassed before, but as she looked along the row, she thought that the white-haired werewolf might just have sunk a little further down in her seat, trapped as she was with the twins, in a public place, while they made an exhibition of themselves.

      “Shove over, Daniel,” said Vex. “Stop hogging the armrest.”

      “I’m not hogging the armrest!” protested Daniel. “I was here first.”

      “Moonglow, Daniel’s hogging the armrest!”

      “No, I’m not!”

      Daniel was in no mood to give in to Vex. He’d already had to struggle with her to ensure that he sat next to Moonglow. For a few moments Daniel’s plans had hung in the balance, but he’d finally managed to maneuver Moonglow to the outside of their group, with him next in line. He could easily put his arm around her without anyone else noticing.

      Vex stared at the figures on screen. “Is this the Runaways?” she asked, loudly.

      “Of course it’s not the Runaways, it’s an advert for potato chips!” said Kalix.

      “Oh . . . will the Runaways be here soon?”

      “Yes.”

      “Will they be in the next advert?”

      “No.”

      “Don’t they get to be in any adverts?” asked Vex.

      “Why would they be in the adverts?”

      “To advertise their film? Can’t they do that?”

      “The Runaways won’t be in any adverts!” said Kalix, and started to feel cross. “They’re only in the film. Stop being stupid.”

      Vex turned to Daniel. “They should have the Runaways advertising these potato chips. It would definitely make me want to buy them.”

      There were a few seconds of silence. Vex leaned over Kalix toward the twins.

      “Did anyone buy any potato chips? Now I really want some.”

      There were a few dissatisfied mutterings from elsewhere in the cinema as other visitors started to regret being at the same showing as such a noisy party.

      “Will everyone keep quiet!” hissed Moonglow.

      “Sorry!” shouted Vex.

      “I’ve dropped my popcorn again,” wailed Beauty.

      Moonglow and Dominil shrank in their seats and hoped, rather desperately, that things might calm down when the film started. As the adverts and previews came to an end, Kalix suddenly felt very excited at the prospect of watching the film about her favorite band. She focused on the screen, ignoring everything around her. Vex and the twins finally fell silent. Daniel inched closer to Moonglow. He felt the warmth of their arms touching.

      I’m sure Moonglow’s deliberately leaning on me, he thought. This is going to be perfect. First I’ll put my arm around her and then I’m going to kiss her.

CHAPTER 11

      “I’ve never been lucky in romance,” admitted Thrix. “I got off to a bad start. The first disaster happened when I was nine years old.”

      The Fire Queen leaned forward eagerly. “Really? Tell me all about it.”

      “I had a crush on Bobby MacPhee. He sat next to me in class. He had spiky black hair. I was fascinated by it. And he gave me sweets at playtime.”

      Malveria nodded sagely. “A young Lothario, with his fascinating hair and generous ways. I can see the attraction.”

      “He was a popular werewolf,” agreed Thrix. “All the girls at the castle liked him. But I had an advantage, sitting next to him in class. He asked if I’d like to meet up some time.”

      “For a date?”

      “Well, sort of. A nine-year-old date.”

      “Excellent,” said Malveria. “The other girls at the castle must have bristled with anger. What happened?”

      “One evening when the full moon was out, Bobby shouted up at my window, asking if I wanted to come out. Which I did, obviously. For a play fight.”

      The Fire Queen was surprised. “A fight? Surely an odd choice for your first date? Was there no restaurant nearby?”

      “Well, when werewolf children go out as werewolves, they have a lot of play-fights. It’s normal behavior.”

      Thrix frowned, remembering the occasion. “Unfortunately, I got carried away and almost severed his jugular vein. If Doctor Angus hadn’t been visiting the castle, poor Bobby would have bled to death.”

      “Ah.” Malveria nodded. “I take it the romance did not continue?”

      “Bobby’s parents told my mother if I ever went near him again they’d make a formal complaint to Baron MacPhee. It was all very embarrassing. But really, I didn’t know I was that powerful. We were strong children, the Thane’s family.” Thrix sighed. “I spent the next few years being called the ‘blonde bully’ by the other werewolves in class. I never had another date at school.”

      Malveria sipped from her glass of red wine. “But did you not once mention you’d had a teenage romance with an older werewolf?”

      Thrix screwed up her face. “Only because I’d had too much to drink.”

      “Tell me all about it.”

      “I’d rather not.”

      “Of course,” said Malveria. “But tell me about it anyway. You are quite diverting me from my previous unhappiness over the dreadful Kabachetka.”

      Thrix filled her wine glass. “His name was John MacAndris. He was an artist. Quite a good artist. He lived in Edinburgh. I really fell for him.”

      “Ah.” The Fire Queen nodded. “An artist. They can be alluring, for a while. Was he handsome?”

      “Quite handsome. He had this air of . . .” Thrix struggled for the correct description. “Well, he seemed exciting, with his exhibitions, and critics writing reviews in the Scotsman and the Glasgow Herald. I dated him for about three months. I took care to keep it secret. Because my mother wouldn’t have approved, with him being a lot older than me.”

      “Did