Listen My Son. Dwight Longenecker

is most important that he should not pay greater attention to transient earthly things that pass away, and so fail to recognise or underestimate the salvation of the souls entrusted to him. Let him always consider that it is souls that he has undertaken to rule, and for whom he will give an account. Moreover, in order that he may not complain of reduced temporal goods, let him remember the Scripture, ‘Seek God's Kingdom first, and his righteousness, and all these other things will be given you as well,’ and again, ‘Nothing is lacking to those who fear him.’ Let him realise that he who undertakes to rule souls must prepare himself to give an account. Whatever the number of brethren under his care, he must understand clearly that he will have to render an account on the Day of Judgement for all these souls, in addition, of course, to his own. Thus as he bears ever in mind the enquiry that will be made on the shepherd's care of the sheep entrusted to him, the thought that he takes concerning the accounts to be rendered for others will make him careful of his own state. And so, while he provides by his instructions for the amendment of others, he will be brought also to the amendment of his own faults.

      If we really make the health of our marriage and family our first priority we will soon be faced with some difficult decisions. The race for more money or greater business success will invariably take us away from home more. A promotion may mean moving house at a time when the children are settling well into their school and community. So putting the family first may require the sacrifice of our career, or a real reduction or limitation to our income.

      Benedict again exhorts us to get our priorities right, no matter what the cost. We are not to pay more attention to ‘transient earthly things that pass away [2 Cor. 4.18] and so fail to recognize or underestimate the salvation of the souls entrusted to [us]’. This is a great demand. Would we really be willing to refuse a promotion, accept a reduction in pay or even face redundancy in order to put our family first? These are real possibilities which we face in an increasingly competitive workplace.

      Benedict's world was also financially insecure. So while he echoes the Lord's question, ‘What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?’ he also reassures us that the one who puts God's Kingdom first will have everything else added to him (Matt. 6.33). The promise is true that nothing is lacking for those who fear him (Ps. 33[34].10). One of the things to remember when weighing up priorities and commitments is that the sooner we decide that we have ‘enough’, the sooner we will be freed to do what we really want and ought to do.

      It is possible to live a simpler life. It is possible to live as we ought to live and rely on God to provide our needs, and nothing will impress the faith on children more than seeing their own parents living sacrificially and trying to put their faith into action.

      This is why Benedict reminds us that we will one day face a judgement where our actions and decisions will be weighed (Heb. 13.17). Because of this we are called again to make our families the very highest priority. We should do so because in helping to amend the lives of those in our care, we see our own faults more clearly, and so prepare ourselves for that day when our own lives will be judged (Rev. 20.12; Matt. 16.27).

      January 16

      May 17

      September 16

      CHAPTER III

      ON SUMMONING THE

      BRETHREN TO COUNCIL (A)

       Whenever anything important has to be done in the monastery the Abbot must assemble the whole community and explain what is under consideration. When he has heard the counsel of the brethren, he should give it consideration and then take what seems to him the best course. The reason why we say that all should be called to council is this: It is often to a younger brother that the Lord reveals the best course. But the brethren must give their counsel submissively and humbly and not presume stubbornly to defend their opinions. The decision should, however, depend mainly on the Abbot's judgement, and all should be joined in obedience to what he considers the soundest course. But just as it is fitting that disciples should obey their master, so it is incumbent on him to settle everything with foresight and justice.

      Jesus did not establish a republic, but a Kingdom. So the monastery, the Christian home and the Church are not democracies. When there is an important decision to be taken Benedict expects the abbot to summon the brethren not for a vote, but for consultation. The Latin word here is consilium not concilium – counsel not council. The abbot is to listen and consult, but in the end he bears the authority so he makes the decision.

      Benedict's advice is balanced and wise. There are two temptations in communal living: one, to let the leader take all responsibility, and the other, to let committees and elections take all the responsibility. Neither extreme works well. In the first the majority have no say, and in the second they have all the say. The first is wrong because one person is never always right and the second is wrong because the crowd is never always right.

      So Benedict establishes a balance in which the clear authority of the abbot is balanced with consultation and genuine listening to the needs and opinions of all the brothers. It is especially interesting that the youngest of the brothers should also be listened to, for God often speaks through the mouth of the youngest since they have a special wisdom and purity which is linked with their youth and inexperience.

      So likewise a Christian family is neither a dictatorship of the father nor a democracy of the mob. Instead the father and mother have absolute authority in the home, but that authority is exercised for the good of the children. They may not often be summoned for a formal family meeting, but the good father and mother will listen to the children and be sensitive to their needs at all times.

      Listening attentively to our children is the best and most natural form of consultation. Listening to them is difficult because their conversation is often banal and repetitious. But in granting them full attention we construct a regular form of consultation and maintain open channels of communication which are invaluable. With this kind of listening, parents will be able to settle everything with justice and foresight. Furthermore, the time spent listening to our toddlers will pay off later because we will find we have open and loving teenagers instead of sullen, silent ones.

      January 17

      May 18

      September 17

      CHAPTER III

      ON SUMMONING THE

      BRETHREN TO COUNCIL (B)

       In every circumstance, therefore, all should follow the authority of the Rule, nor is it to be rashly abandoned by anyone. No one in the monastery is to follow the prompting of his own heart; no one is to presume to argue rudely with the Abbot, or to argue at all outside the monastery. If anyone does so presume, he must submit to disciplinary measures. The Abbot himself, however, in all his actions must fear God and keep the Rule, bearing in mind that most surely he will have to render account for all his decisions before God, the most just judge.

       If, however, there are less important matters to be transacted for the well-being of the monastery, the Abbot should take counsel only with the senior monks, for it is written, ‘Take counsel about all you do and afterwards you will have no regrets.’

      There are two points which apply to family life in today's reading. Firstly, Benedict makes it clear that the abbot is subject to the Rule just as the monks are. So children, like monks under obedience to an abbot, will find it far easier to obey if they see that their parents also follow the rules.

      Having clear rules of behaviour for everyone in the home is the best way to encourage harmony and peace. Everyone likes to know where they stand and what is expected of them – especially children. Within this chapter which encourages consultation, it is good to remember that rules should be established