The Secret To Happiness. Jessica Redland

usually good with stuff like that.’

      ‘Yeah, well, I can’t be perfect all the time.’

      Silence.

      ‘Why did you really go?’ Dave asked, his tone gentle. ‘Was it because of what I said?’

      Alison lay in the darkness, pulling the duvet up to her chin.

      ‘It was, wasn’t it?’

      Silence.

      ‘Ali?’

      She turned over to face him, her eyes adjusting to the gloom. ‘If you must know, yes. I know I’m fat and I hate myself enough for that without you calling me names.’ She went to turn over again but he placed his arm on hers, stopping her.

      ‘I had a shite day,’ he said. ‘You got the brunt of it.’

      She sighed. ‘I always do, Dave.’

      ‘I know. I shouldn’t have said those things about your weight.’

      Her eyes clouded with tears. ‘No, you shouldn’t. You were nasty to me. Really nasty.’

      ‘I’m sorry.’ He reached out and gently stroked her cheek. ‘I don’t know why I said it. I didn’t mean it. You’re still my favourite girl.’

      Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Still his favourite girl? Raised in a dysfunctional family full of animosity, Dave had always struggled to voice his emotions. Calling her his ‘favourite girl’ was his way of saying ‘I love you’. Yet he hadn’t said it for months. Possibly years.

      ‘Even though I’m a chubba?’ she whispered.

      ‘You’re beautiful.’

      He drew her face closer to his and gently kissed her. Alison’s heart started to race and she felt her whole body react to his tender touch.

      ‘Dave, I…’

      ‘Shh,’ he whispered, moving in for another kiss. He stroked his hand down her arm, his palm grazing her breast.

      A soft moan escaped from Alison’s lips. This was the Dave she remembered; the tender, loving Dave from the early days and that holiday. Every time he lashed out at her after a bad day at work, or simply because he was in a bad mood – which was nearly all the time – she thought about that man who she’d fallen in love with when she was only seventeen, the man who’d been there for her at a time when she’d so desperately needed someone. Occasionally she got glimpses of him and those rare moments were what kept her going.

      As he pushed her nightshirt up over her breasts so that he could gently kiss and caress her, she pushed aside his cruel words. As his kisses trailed down to her stomach, she pushed aside his laughter. And as his tongue slipped between her legs, sending jolts of electricity through her, she focused only on the good times. Long ago. This rare glimpse of the man she adored wouldn’t last long so she needed to make the most of it and completely surrender to him.

      But as Alison lay awake in the early hours, listening to Dave’s gentle breathing, a thought popped into her head that simply wouldn’t go away: what did he want from her? He’d gone from cruel to attentive in the space of a few hours; something didn’t add up.

      Even more disturbing, why was she thinking that way?

      11

      Karen

      Karen was dozing on the sofa when she heard Ryan’s key turn in the lock. Her head felt fuzzy from the bottle of wine she’d downed. So much for one glass. What time was it? It had to be really late because she remembered still drinking after midnight. Squinting towards the clock, she tried to focus her tired eyes. 2.37 a.m. What the hell had Ryan and Steff been doing for that long?

      She ran her hands through her hair and looked down at the rumpled midnight-blue satin and Chantilly lace slip that she’d bought for their anniversary.

      Curled into a ball on the sofa, she listened to him trying to walk up the stairs, tripping up and clattering against the wall. So that was what they’d been doing: drinking. She looked down at the empty bottle and glass on the floor and sighed. Why couldn’t he have come home to a few drinks with her instead?

      Shivering in the coolness of the early hours, she pulled a throw off the back of the sofa and snuggled under it. When Ryan discovered she wasn’t in bed and came looking for her, at least he wouldn’t be able to see the stupid satin slip. The humiliation of lying seductively on the sofa, bathed in candlelight, waiting for him to come home and participate in some steamy make-up sex, could remain hidden under a couple of square metres of chenille. Actually, best blow out the candles too, removing all evidence of her failed seduction attempt.

      Back on the sofa, the throw pulled up to her chin, she listened to Ryan’s footsteps on the second flight of stairs and waited for him to come downstairs to find her. Her eyes were heavy and she fought to keep them open. Perhaps if she closed them and concentrated on listening out for the door opening…

      ‘Karen,’ said a voice. ‘Karen!’

      She rolled over and squinted at the figure towering over her. ‘Ryan?’ She opened her eyes a bit further then blinked as he moved aside and she was blinded by the sunlight streaming through the lounge window. ‘It’s morning?’

      ‘It’s nearly ten.’

      ‘Ten?’ She rubbed her eyes and stretched her back out. A night on the sofa certainly wasn’t what she’d planned.

      ‘Why are you sleeping down here?’ Ryan asked, crouching on the floor beside her.

      ‘I was waiting for you. I wanted to say sorry for being funny about the amount of time you’ve spent with Steff.’

      Ryan shook his head. ‘It’s my fault. I have spent too much time with her. We had a lot to do and it was important stuff, but you’re more important.’ He gently stroked her cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I’m sorry.’

      Karen smiled weakly. ‘I should have been more supportive about Bay Runners. If it’s going to make Bay Fitness even more successful, I should be encouraging it instead of fighting it.’

      ‘Right back at you about the mid-morning bootcamp. It’s good that you’re trying to attract a new audience.’

      Karen smiled properly. ‘What a pair we are, eh?’

      As she sat up, the throw slid down to her waist, revealing the slip.

      Ryan’s eyes widened. ‘What’s that you’re wearing?’

      She looked down, her cheeks burning. ‘Pathetic and wasted attempt at an apology through seduction.’

      He stood up. ‘It’s a nice colour.’

      A nice colour? Nice? Was that all he had to say?

      ‘Cup of tea?’ he asked, heading for the door.

      ‘Er, yes please.’

      Karen slumped back against the sofa. What just happened? If there was anything guaranteed to send Ryan wild with desire, it was satin and lace. Had he really walked away from her when she was wearing it?

      12

      Alison

      ✉︎ From Karen

      Really excited to see you for your first bootcamp this morning. This is the first ever session in the mid-morning slot so we’re all newbies together. I’ve been running bootcamps for over 4 years now. My philosophy is fitness through fun and friendship. Don’t worry about what size you are or what your fitness level might or might not be. You’ve taken the first step by signing up