Predators Live Among us. Diane Roblin Lee

sexual in nature, the known U.S. federal costs were, at that time, around five billion dollars. With numbers constantly climbing and so many cases unreported, the numbers are obviously much higher—to say nothing of the familial costs of dealing with an abused child and the costs to the business world for workers who continue to suffer with emotional baggage.

      According to Dr. Paul Fink,

      “Child sexual abuse is a preventable health problem that has been allowed to spread, unabated, due to scientific and social neglect.”¹⁶

      Dr. Frank Putnam, researcher at the National Institute for Mental Health, in his article, Why is it so Difficult for the Epidemic of Child Abuse to be Taken Seriously? observed,

      “We find an incidence rate for child abuse and neglect that is about ten times as high as the incidence rate for all forms of cancer…. There is a multi-billion-dollar research base reliably renewed on an annual basis for cancer treatment and prevention. Nothing remotely similar to this exists for child abuse and neglect.”

      It’s probably worth noting that there’s no pill that the mammoth drug companies could produce to stop child abuse or its effects. As a crisis control driven society, rather than a prevention oriented society, there may be money to be saved, but none to be made. Money spent on preventing sexual child abuse would not produce any direct financial return on investment.

      In a commentary, Dr. James Mercy, a researcher with the Center for Disease Control and Prevention observed:

      “Imagine a childhood disease that affects one in five girls and one in seven boys before they reach 18 (Finkelhor & Dziuba-Leatherman, 1994): a disease that can cause dramatic mood swings, erratic behavior, and even severe conduct disorders among those exposed; a disease that breeds distrust of adults and undermines the possibility of experiencing normal sexual relationships; a disease that can have profound implications for an individual’s future health by increasing the risk of problems such as substance abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, and suicidal behavior (Crowell & Burgess, 1996); a disease that replicates itself by causing some of its victims to expose future generations to its debilitating effects.

      “Imagine what we, as a society, would do if such a disease existed. We would spare no expense. We would invest heavily in basic and applied research. We would devise systems to identify those affected and provide services to treat them. We would develop and broadly implement prevention campaigns to protect our children. Wouldn’t we?

      “Such a disease does exist—it’s called child sexual abuse. Our response, however, has been far from the full-court press reserved for traditional diseases or health concerns of equal or even lesser magnitude. Perhaps the perception of sexual abuse as a law enforcement problem or our discomfort in confronting sexual issues contributes to our complacency. Whatever the reason, we have severely underestimated the effects of this problem on our children’s health and quality of life.”¹⁷

      Denial

      So—if the costs are so high, why don’t we do more to get at the root of the problem?

      People don’t want to talk about child sexual abuse, much less admit to being a victim or a molester. People don’t want to look too closely or they might find something horrible going on next door or even in their own homes. The problem is so rampant that, for many social workers, dealing with the subject means confronting their own childhood demons. They don’t want to stir their own emotional pots, bringing their buried painful, sometimes shameful memories to the surface.

      The word “incest” is so distasteful that people want to distance themselves from it in every way—even in the development of sex abuse prevention programs, which are predominantly geared towards strangers. Author Julian Sher’s research into the findings of the CCRC (Crimes Against Children Research Centre, University of New Hampshire) revealed that between 70 and 90 percent of child sexual abuse is committed by persons known to the victim.

      This societal denial is another factor contributing to inadequate funding for the development of programs geared to protecting kids. People in positions of intimacy with children, such as teachers, doctors and nurses, who have opportunities to check for signs of abuse are usually poorly trained in recognizing the more subtle signs.

      According to Victor Vieth, director of the American Prosecutors Research Institute’s National Centre for Prosecution of Child Abuse, a 2004 survey of 2,240 judges who regularly handle child abuse cases, showed that barely 50 percent had had the proper training. Consequently, children who should be rescued continue to be either abused or at risk. He states:

      “All the folks who advocate getting tough on crime and other social problems—burglaries, arsons, suicide, depression—need to start talking about addressing child abuse, because that’s where much of it starts.”

      Known incidents—the tip of the iceberg

      Counselors on the front lines of the epidemic of child sexual abuse know that incarcerated sex offenders are only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the proportion of active sex offenders.

      Most incidents of child sex abuse are never reported—for a variety of reasons.

      • Fear of retaliation by the offender—Many offenders control their victims with threats.

      • Fear of not being believed—Particularly in cases where the abuser is highly respected in the family or community, the victim often fears that he or she will not be believed.

      • The shame of things done in secret—It’s embarrassing to have people know what one has done on an intimate level.

      • The shame of enjoyment—Not all touches by an offender are distasteful to a child. Knowing that what is happening is wrong and yet finding occasional pleasure in the relationship makes a child feel ashamed of himself/herself.

      • Love for the offender—Offenders are sometimes dearly loved family members who shamefully confuse children with loving touches combined with inappropriate touches.

      • Protection of the family—It’s not uncommon for a child to fear that they will ruin their families if they tell.

      • Fear of the ordeal of testifying—The thought of facing one’s abuser in court can be overwhelming. In trying to protect their children from further damage, parents often try to sidestep the court process and deal with the situation the best way they know how.

      • Fear of peer group reaction—“What will my friends think of me if I tell?”

      • Deer in the headlights—It’s not uncommon for a victim to “freeze” like a deer in the headlights, when abuse occurs. The traumatic experience paralyzes them in terms of ability to seek help.

      • Confusion—Little children do not have the same frames of reference as adults. They do not process things the same way. They don’t have the life experiences necessary to know how things will play out. Living between an offender who is instructing him to be silent and a parent who is teaching him or her to be vocal about bad touches can be a very confusing place for a child.

      • Attempts by the family at cover-up—It is not uncommon for a wife who does not have her own resources and who is entirely dependant on her husband, to believe the promises of the offender that he will stop offending and not report the abuse.

      In the words of sexual abuse specialist Roland C. Summit,

      “In the classic role reversal of child abuse, the child is given the power to destroy the family and the responsibility to keep it together. The child, not the parent, must mobilize the altruism and self-control to insure the survival of the others. The child, in short, must secretly assume many of the role-functions ordinarily assigned to the mother.

      “There is an inevitable splitting of conventional moral values. Maintaining a lie to keep the secret is the ultimate virtue, while telling the truth would be the greatest sin. A child thus victimized will appear to accept or to seek sexual contact without complaint.”