The Charisma Code. Robin Sol Lieberman

pain did not kill her. She became great to rise to her ordeal.

      Most enlightenment practices focus on transforming suffering. In order to do so, you have to face it head on. How do we face the suffering? With allowance. Another dear friend, Amber Hartnell, “allowed” her birthing contractions so fully that she began to orgasm. She then shared the experience of her orgasmic birth on numerous news and talk shows, beginning a birthing revolution around the world. Allowance brings grace in the midst of extraordinary pain. What Amber discovered went way beyond childbirth. She later had two root canals without anesthesia.

      Peacocks purposely eat poison, but the poison doesn’t kill them. Instead, it makes their feathers more colorful. Pain is an integral part of being alive. When you know that a certain pain will not destroy you, why not sit back and enjoy it? Surround yourself with the safety you need, then relax into the pain.

      One of my strongest pain teachers are clusters of migraine headaches that mysteriously come on daily for three weeks, almost every fall. My body rejects pain medication with a physical allergy, so during those three weeks, I learn from pain. Sometimes I experience five migraines in a single night. If you’ve ever had a migraine, you know it is not an exalted headache or a stomachache. Each one is a beast of flashing, piercing, screaming sensations.

      I’ve developed a pain-management system to tame this beast or at least stay in the ring with it. At the barest hint of blood-vessel spasming I stop what I’m doing and focus my attention on it. I watch for edges and peaks. I accompany the pain through the corridors and hallways of my skull. I mingle with it like a vampire and princess might mingle with each other: not exactly easy escorts, but vital with alert thrill. I ride the sharp bites, stick through the high-pitch point, wait for the submission, and then, I give thanks. The tight corridors of pain lift, and I’m free to wander again. By cultivating stillness while mingling with the magnitude of sensation, I can cut the duration and strength of the headaches in half.

      When we resist pain, whether emotional or physical, it is highly unpleasant. We don’t want it. We want pleasure, crave it, beg for it. Our bodies feel pleasure as safety. So how can we stay with our pain and allow it instead of repelling its overwhelming sensation? Would you believe me if I said pain is not possible unless you resist it? What if I told you that pain and pleasure are the same thing? Could it be possible that each is only an extreme sensation, and the way we choose to feel it marks our experience as painful or pleasurable?

      A person with charisma is often described as someone who glows. So I thought, “What in nature glows naturally, and how does it do it?” Naturally, I thought of the sun. What I discovered about the sun’s light-making process floored me. Here’s the simple of it: Through heat, gravity, and grace, atoms within the sun connect so completely that they unify. In their unification, it takes less energy to hold them together than when they were separate particles. The excess energy is released into space in the form of sunlight. All the light you have ever experienced is literally the result of connection! Likewise, your pain dissolves when you fuse it with acceptance, releasing that special glow. Through deep allowance and surrender, your pain will transform from a prison into a radiant surge of charisma.

      Next time pain comes knocking on your front door, choose from the following menu options: