The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume II: Sex for Grown-Ups. Gloria G. Brame

A Note About Case Studies:

      To protect the confidentiality of my clients, all case studies in this book are composites of at least two to four different patients who presented with similar problems. Names are fictitious to further protect their privacy.

       The Truth About Sex

      

       A Sex Primer for the 21st Century

       Volume 2: Sex for Grown-ups

      

      by

       Dr. Gloria G. Brame

      

       CCB Publishing

       British Columbia, Canada

      The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume 2: Sex for Grown-Ups

      Copyright ©2013 by Dr. Gloria G. Brame

      ISBN-13 978-1-77143-077-7

      First Edition

      Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

      Brame, Gloria G., 1955-, author

      The truth about sex : a sex primer for the 21st century volume 2 : sex for grown-ups / by Gloria G. Brame. – First edition.

      Issued in print and electronic formats.

      ISBN 978-1-77143-076-0 (pbk.).--ISBN 978-1-77143-077-7 (pdf)

      Additional cataloguing data available from Library and Archives Canada

      Cover artwork by David Ampola.

      Extreme care has been taken by the author to ensure that all information presented in this book is accurate and up to date at the time of publishing. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for any errors or omissions. Additionally, neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the express written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief and accurately credited quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

      Publisher:

      CCB Publishing

      British Columbia, Canada

       www.ccbpublishing.com

       Note : This book contains frank material on adult topics. It is not recommended for minors.

       Praise received for Gloria G. Brame, PhD

      

      “Gloria is the most articulate woman I’ve ever met.”

      --Helen Gurly Brown, former editor-in-chief, Cosmopolitan magazine

      “If you don’t have a sex therapist on speed dial, Dr. Gloria Brame will be your emergency contact. She plants a sex-positive flag into the American landscape.”

      --Megan Andelloux, Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator

      “The first step in affirming sexual freedom as a fundamental human right is one’s own sexual liberation. Dr. Brame’s work outlines a clear path toward that goal!”

      --Ricci Joy Levy, Exec. Director, The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance

      “Dr. Brame is simply the best tour guide I know for your travel in the world of kinky sex. She is a superb scholar and a great human being -- I think that her father must have dipped his joint in honey when he created her.”

      --Dr. Ted McIlvenna, Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality

      “Dr. Brame’s mind is devastatingly erotic because it is embodied philosophical eroticism repletive of the cardinals: wit, directness, reductive, suffused with organic immediacy.”

      --Godfrey Silas, Cinematographer/Producer, The G-Spot Project

      “Dr. Gloria Brame brings a refreshingly original perspective to the study of human sexuality in all its dimensions and permutations.”

      --Dr. Sandor Gardos, Sex Therapist and Founder of MyPleasure.com

      “Dr. Brame provides an honest and reassuring outlook on how healthy sexuality is fundamental to building healthy lives, relationships, communities and societies.”

      --Nina Hartley, R.N., Author of Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex

       The way that most men deal with traditions

       is to receive them as they are delivered,

       without applying any critical test whatsoever.

       -- Thucydides

       Section One

      

       Sex is as Complicated as the Adults Having It

       Introduction

      

      You’ve heard people say it a million times: “Sex is the most natural thing in the world.” And it is – for every other species except humans.

      For better and for worse, it has been humankind’s unique biological destiny to have an unnatural relationship with sex. Unique to our species, we intellectualize sex. We also feel shame and guilt about sex; we lie and cheat about sex; and we think it’s noble to rise above our lusts and pretend sex isn’t as important as it is to us. We are, when it comes right down to it, as bizarrely repressed and baroquely ritualistic as it gets in the great wide world of sex. If any of the species whose sexual antics we routinely giggle over on YouTube knew what humans went through to get laid, I wonder who’d get the last laugh.

      In the first volume of this series, The Truth About Sex, I focused on the two most basic and fundamental elements of sex: masturbation and orgasm. It came as a surprise, I suspect, to people more familiar with my work on BDSM and fetish sex, and my history of tackling unusual and radical sex topics. For fans of my more radical work, this volume will clear up any confusion about why I decided to start the trilogy at what I consider the very beginning – the relationship each of us has with our own genitals and sexual desires.

      I also know a key step to a balanced sex life is to develop a more positive view of orgasms, a harmless behavior long demonized for no rational reasons, and now, in the 21^st century, something all the sciences, from medicine to sexology, can agree is healthful, and perhaps even key to longevity. So I felt I should start my trilogy with a basic sex-positive primer designed for both adults and their kids to gain familiarity with their own bodies, and to develop good sexual health habits through education.

      As masturbation is the fundamental building block of adult sexuality, and the first type of sex most of us have, you’d think people would do it naturally and not worry about it, but it’s the rare and fortunately uninhibited person who feels that way. Most people are hung up about it, think it’s